1. Be Yourself
A white jewish kid from New Jersey steps into a Nashville bar. He approaches the bartender and starts to
contemplate what to order. This is the deep south, don't want to give myself away as an outsider. I figure Sam
Adams is too much of a 'yankee' beer, Amstel Light is way to Classy, and Yeungling may be a dirty word
below the mason-dixon line. So after careful thought, I ask for the beer that best represents white-trash, I
mean middle-America, Coors Light. Nothing against Coors Light, its great for flip cup and beer pong, but it
just isn't a drinking beer. But I still went ahead and ordered the Silver Bullet, satisfied that I made the right
choice, when a 6'4" cowboy steps up to the plate and orders a Corona Light. Not just a Corona, a Corona
LIGHT. I think they only advertise in The Advocate, not that there's anything wrong with that. I learned a
valuable lesson that day in the bar: 1) be yourself and 1a) there might be some gay Cowboys out there....
2. Monday Night Meltdown
What a sham! Julius Jones, Jason Witten, Keyshawn Johnson, Clinton Portis....all had the capability to put up
a huge night and alter the balance of power in the ROFF. But as we all watched the stat tracker during the
game, not much changed for the Stare, the Quacks, or the Colts. But wait, the night wasnt a total fantasy
loss...Joe Horn propelled the Nose to 1st place, and Tiki Barber put the chains on the Shermtanks (although
Terry Glenn did his damndest to keep them in the fight). That telethon was a nice touch by the NFL though,
did anyone try calling in?
3. No More Moss
A brief personal interlude here - that was the worst 4 minutes of football of my life. Except of course the last
few minutes of my High School thanksgiving day game (I wasn't playing, don't worry) vs our archrival, Ramsey
(thats right Allocco, Bergen County reference). We hadn't won all year. It was our senior year and Ramsey
was a top notch team. We were down 5, 4th and goal, the ball went up, and alas, came down....but I digress.
What happened last Monday? Did the thought cross anyone's mind that Santana Moss was about to put 150
yds and 2 TDS with just 4 minutes to go. Brunell scrambles for 25. Two 4th down conversions. And there you
had it, what the hell, sometimes my love of sports really makes me hate sports.
4. 5>5
Fuzzy Math? Not when you measure up last weeks tilt between my Marriage and the Mouth. Duante throws 5
picks. D-nabb throws 5 touchdowns. And although the final point spread was well over 40, the game came
down to a match-up of two qb's headed in opposite directions. It shows that pre-season (both the games and
the hype) mean nothing. T.O. is not an issue. Dnabb is still the man. Dunate can not succeed without Randy
and his completion percentage in preseason clearly means squat when the new #1, Nate Burlyman, can't
catch a pass.
5. Star Power?
The 2005 Ravens Defense may have the greatest collection of big name defenders in modern times. Ed
Reed, Chris McAllister, Samari Rolle, Dale Carter, Deion Sanders, Terrell Suggs, and the living hyperbole,
Ray Lewis. The offense has a few names to shout as well - Heap, J.Lew, Mason, Ogden. All former
Pro-Bowlers. The make-up of an elite team. But I learned something else in the fields of Tennesse this past
weekend. Football games are won in the trenches. A cliche, yes, but its fact. The game is won and loss on
the line of scrimmage. QB pressure disrupts the entire Offense. Good blocking allows for the run, which sets
up the pass, which leads to success (see KC Chiefs). And thus the Ravens find themselves without the grunt
work guys willing to battle every down, looking for an edge. They open the holes. They close the holes. And
without those openings, the stars wont shine through.
A white jewish kid from New Jersey steps into a Nashville bar. He approaches the bartender and starts to
contemplate what to order. This is the deep south, don't want to give myself away as an outsider. I figure Sam
Adams is too much of a 'yankee' beer, Amstel Light is way to Classy, and Yeungling may be a dirty word
below the mason-dixon line. So after careful thought, I ask for the beer that best represents white-trash, I
mean middle-America, Coors Light. Nothing against Coors Light, its great for flip cup and beer pong, but it
just isn't a drinking beer. But I still went ahead and ordered the Silver Bullet, satisfied that I made the right
choice, when a 6'4" cowboy steps up to the plate and orders a Corona Light. Not just a Corona, a Corona
LIGHT. I think they only advertise in The Advocate, not that there's anything wrong with that. I learned a
valuable lesson that day in the bar: 1) be yourself and 1a) there might be some gay Cowboys out there....
2. Monday Night Meltdown
What a sham! Julius Jones, Jason Witten, Keyshawn Johnson, Clinton Portis....all had the capability to put up
a huge night and alter the balance of power in the ROFF. But as we all watched the stat tracker during the
game, not much changed for the Stare, the Quacks, or the Colts. But wait, the night wasnt a total fantasy
loss...Joe Horn propelled the Nose to 1st place, and Tiki Barber put the chains on the Shermtanks (although
Terry Glenn did his damndest to keep them in the fight). That telethon was a nice touch by the NFL though,
did anyone try calling in?
3. No More Moss
A brief personal interlude here - that was the worst 4 minutes of football of my life. Except of course the last
few minutes of my High School thanksgiving day game (I wasn't playing, don't worry) vs our archrival, Ramsey
(thats right Allocco, Bergen County reference). We hadn't won all year. It was our senior year and Ramsey
was a top notch team. We were down 5, 4th and goal, the ball went up, and alas, came down....but I digress.
What happened last Monday? Did the thought cross anyone's mind that Santana Moss was about to put 150
yds and 2 TDS with just 4 minutes to go. Brunell scrambles for 25. Two 4th down conversions. And there you
had it, what the hell, sometimes my love of sports really makes me hate sports.
4. 5>5
Fuzzy Math? Not when you measure up last weeks tilt between my Marriage and the Mouth. Duante throws 5
picks. D-nabb throws 5 touchdowns. And although the final point spread was well over 40, the game came
down to a match-up of two qb's headed in opposite directions. It shows that pre-season (both the games and
the hype) mean nothing. T.O. is not an issue. Dnabb is still the man. Dunate can not succeed without Randy
and his completion percentage in preseason clearly means squat when the new #1, Nate Burlyman, can't
catch a pass.
5. Star Power?
The 2005 Ravens Defense may have the greatest collection of big name defenders in modern times. Ed
Reed, Chris McAllister, Samari Rolle, Dale Carter, Deion Sanders, Terrell Suggs, and the living hyperbole,
Ray Lewis. The offense has a few names to shout as well - Heap, J.Lew, Mason, Ogden. All former
Pro-Bowlers. The make-up of an elite team. But I learned something else in the fields of Tennesse this past
weekend. Football games are won in the trenches. A cliche, yes, but its fact. The game is won and loss on
the line of scrimmage. QB pressure disrupts the entire Offense. Good blocking allows for the run, which sets
up the pass, which leads to success (see KC Chiefs). And thus the Ravens find themselves without the grunt
work guys willing to battle every down, looking for an edge. They open the holes. They close the holes. And
without those openings, the stars wont shine through.
| Week 2: Live from Honkey Tonk, U.S.A. |