Fantasy Football League goes to the movies (yes, just like the
rest of you). Sometimes I go with one of my many lady friends.
Still other times I go with fellow ROFFL members. After viewing
these movies, I form an opinion. Here in a new column, exclusive
to retiredorangemen.com, is Five Second Stare at the Movies.
There are 5 ratings:
HANDSOME
GOOD-LOOKING
DECENT
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME
GROSS
on this website that I didn’t recommend.
“Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny” should have had a warning at the
bottom of all it’s posters and at the end of all it’s trailers. It would have
read, “To achieve total enjoyment throughout this movie, you have to be
high out of your mind.” The movie is a stoner’s paradise and it’s two
leads, JB (Jack Black) and KG (Kyle Gass) smoke plenty of weed
throughout the flick.
The film starts with a young JB. He’s an outcast in his own family. You
see his parents (I have to admit, that I love the casting of Meatloaf as his
father) and brother are god’s children, and JB wants to rock. He runs
away from home after Ronnie James Rio (from Black Sabbath) tells him
that the best way to success is in Hollywood. So to Hollywood he goes
(this leads to a nice, and funny, traveling montage that takes JB to 5
different Hollywood’s before he hits the one in California).
It is here that he meets the other member of “the D,” KG. One of the
funniest parts of the film is when they have to decide on a name. Two
birthmarks will lead to Tenacious D, which is much better than Tenac
(which is not in the dictionary).
Before long, the band realizes that they’re not very good and that they
might need some help to succeed. In a not-too-funny cameo, Ben Stiller
reveals the secret of the Pick of Destiny.
The film then becomes a road trip movie, as Kyle and Jack have to get to
the Rock and Hall History Museum, steal the Pick, and write the greatest
song of all time.
“Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny” is not a bad movie and it is not
unfunny. But it is neither funny enough nor good enough to recommend.
Jack Black pretty much brings a smile to my face every time he talks, and
Paul F. Tompkins, who runs the open-mic (and also appeared in the
Tenacious D TV show that aired on HBO) has some great one-liners.
I liked David Grohl (Foo Fighters) as Satan and the showdown Satan has
with “the D,” which leads to the “Greatest Song in the World.” If you know
anything about Tenacious D, you know that “Tribute” was their biggest
commercial hit. And “Tribute” pays tribute to the song sung at the end of
this movie. And while I don’t agree that the song was the greatest in the
world, I do think it deserves a tribute.
But the movie, ultimately, falls flat. In a way, it’s fitting that the film gets a
rating of, “If I Had A Few Drinks In Me.” Because I really believe that if I
was drunk (or stoned) I would have recommended the movie. But I
wouldn’t recommend hooking up with half the chicks I’ve hooked with
when I’m drunk, so I’m gonna stick to the sober rating.
