Every so often the best looking man in the Retired Orangemen
Fantasy Football League goes to the movies (yes, just like the
rest of you). Sometimes I go with one of my many lady friends.
Still other times I go with fellow ROFFL members. After viewing
these movies, I form an opinion. Here in a new column, exclusive
to retiredorangemen.com, is Five Second Stare at the Movies.
There are 5 ratings:
HANDSOME
GOOD-LOOKING
DECENT
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME
GROSS
Fantasy Football League goes to the movies (yes, just like the
rest of you). Sometimes I go with one of my many lady friends.
Still other times I go with fellow ROFFL members. After viewing
these movies, I form an opinion. Here in a new column, exclusive
to retiredorangemen.com, is Five Second Stare at the Movies.
There are 5 ratings:
HANDSOME
GOOD-LOOKING
DECENT
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME
GROSS
 |
No, Jackass: Number Two is not as good a movie as Little Miss Sunshine; but, I can honestly say that while watching
Jackass: Number Two I laughed so hard that I cried. And quite frankly, I don’t get to say that so much anymore,
especially at the movie theatre.
There is no plot, there is no character development, and there is no acting. I couldn’t care less about those things
and that is not why I dropped $10.75 to see the movie. I paid the money to laugh my ass off and I did.
The whole crew is back, and obviously older. The cast, in order of importance: Knoxville, Bargera, Steve-O, Dunn,
Pontius, McGhehey, England, Lacy, and Wee Man. I can’t remember the names of all the skits but they range in
hilarity, from tears to vomit.
My favorite moments in the movie are the small sketches in between the bigger ones. I don’t know what it says about
me, but grown men getting hit in the balls still makes me laugh and when someone is asked to read very tiny print,
only to get punched in the face by an automatic boxing glove my stomach hurts because I am laughing so hard.
There are several times the Jackass cast uses Bulls in their sketches, none of which are artificially inseminated, and I
laughed every time. I also enjoyed “The Switcheroo” which is basically Bam Margera’s father being replaced in the
middle of the night in his bed by Preston Lacy. April Margera, Bam’s mother, finds out later. I got another big kick
out of the “Terrorist Taxi” which was an insanely brilliant way of tricking Ehren McGhehey into thinking he’d be the
terrorist, he wasn’t.
The few segments I didn’t like were gross out jokes. I don’t think seeing someone shit on a small toilet is funny, when
Steve-O stuck a fishing hook in his cheek I didn’t laugh, and I’m not a fan of watching two horses have sex. But
those segments are few and fairly short, and the Steve-O segment turned out to be pretty funny (“Fishing for
Sharks”).
In all, you have to appreciate the ingenuity in coming up with these segments and the guts to try them. The movie is
summed up in a brief dialogue Ryan Dunn has with Bam Margera’s mother, April. She asks, “Why did you do it all
Dunn?” And he replies, very matter-of-factly, “Because it was funny.” Well, he’s right.
Jackass: Number Two I laughed so hard that I cried. And quite frankly, I don’t get to say that so much anymore,
especially at the movie theatre.
There is no plot, there is no character development, and there is no acting. I couldn’t care less about those things
and that is not why I dropped $10.75 to see the movie. I paid the money to laugh my ass off and I did.
The whole crew is back, and obviously older. The cast, in order of importance: Knoxville, Bargera, Steve-O, Dunn,
Pontius, McGhehey, England, Lacy, and Wee Man. I can’t remember the names of all the skits but they range in
hilarity, from tears to vomit.
My favorite moments in the movie are the small sketches in between the bigger ones. I don’t know what it says about
me, but grown men getting hit in the balls still makes me laugh and when someone is asked to read very tiny print,
only to get punched in the face by an automatic boxing glove my stomach hurts because I am laughing so hard.
There are several times the Jackass cast uses Bulls in their sketches, none of which are artificially inseminated, and I
laughed every time. I also enjoyed “The Switcheroo” which is basically Bam Margera’s father being replaced in the
middle of the night in his bed by Preston Lacy. April Margera, Bam’s mother, finds out later. I got another big kick
out of the “Terrorist Taxi” which was an insanely brilliant way of tricking Ehren McGhehey into thinking he’d be the
terrorist, he wasn’t.
The few segments I didn’t like were gross out jokes. I don’t think seeing someone shit on a small toilet is funny, when
Steve-O stuck a fishing hook in his cheek I didn’t laugh, and I’m not a fan of watching two horses have sex. But
those segments are few and fairly short, and the Steve-O segment turned out to be pretty funny (“Fishing for
Sharks”).
In all, you have to appreciate the ingenuity in coming up with these segments and the guts to try them. The movie is
summed up in a brief dialogue Ryan Dunn has with Bam Margera’s mother, April. She asks, “Why did you do it all
Dunn?” And he replies, very matter-of-factly, “Because it was funny.” Well, he’s right.
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