Outrage!! Deception!! Rumors are spreading in our once peaceful fantasy football community. Evidence has been
posted on our egalitarian comment board that not all of the ROFF (silent L) owners are in fact…..dare I say…..
Retired Orangemen!! In fact, these so-called Retired Orangemen go so far as to take the top rankings [gasp], thus
relegating the tried and true Orangemen to the bubble and even worse….to the lottery picks! I found this claim
startling and did not believe it at first. That is until an undercover investigation with an unnamed-non-Syracuse-
attending-but-playoff-qualifying owner produced this factious statement, “it sounds as if the orange are turning
green”. Ooooohhhhhh, now those are fightin’ words!! I don’t want to start an academic war, but Orangemen
represent! Stand up for your school, your league, your honor! This week is your opportunity…there are five
matchups of Orangemen vs. (for lack of a better term) A Vastly Superior Team. Uhhhhh Whammy!! Of course I
jest. In addition to those eminent showdowns, there are also two duels betwixt Orange Alums. Let us take notice of
these battles, reconvene next week and observe the results of these blood fests. Unless of course, it first appears in
a long, lost edition of Orange Numbers!
posted on our egalitarian comment board that not all of the ROFF (silent L) owners are in fact…..dare I say…..
Retired Orangemen!! In fact, these so-called Retired Orangemen go so far as to take the top rankings [gasp], thus
relegating the tried and true Orangemen to the bubble and even worse….to the lottery picks! I found this claim
startling and did not believe it at first. That is until an undercover investigation with an unnamed-non-Syracuse-
attending-but-playoff-qualifying owner produced this factious statement, “it sounds as if the orange are turning
green”. Ooooohhhhhh, now those are fightin’ words!! I don’t want to start an academic war, but Orangemen
represent! Stand up for your school, your league, your honor! This week is your opportunity…there are five
matchups of Orangemen vs. (for lack of a better term) A Vastly Superior Team. Uhhhhh Whammy!! Of course I
jest. In addition to those eminent showdowns, there are also two duels betwixt Orange Alums. Let us take notice of
these battles, reconvene next week and observe the results of these blood fests. Unless of course, it first appears in
a long, lost edition of Orange Numbers!
Remaining Schedule
Procrastinating Shermtanks is hoping that some trades right
before the deadline can bring his team up from the cellar
(where he is looking for wine?). It could help, but he still
faces the most difficult remaining schedule. Born is trying to
climb into contention as well, but nothing has changed since
last week and he still has a very challenging schedule ahead.
On the other hand, propaganda and the Quackers of
Duckville have a smooth ride ahead of them from which they
hope to catch some teams above them off guard and make it
into the playoffs. Last week, those playing a team with a
winning record went 2-4 and those playing a team with a
losing record went 5-3.
Procrastinating Shermtanks is hoping that some trades right
before the deadline can bring his team up from the cellar
(where he is looking for wine?). It could help, but he still
faces the most difficult remaining schedule. Born is trying to
climb into contention as well, but nothing has changed since
last week and he still has a very challenging schedule ahead.
On the other hand, propaganda and the Quackers of
Duckville have a smooth ride ahead of them from which they
hope to catch some teams above them off guard and make it
into the playoffs. Last week, those playing a team with a
winning record went 2-4 and those playing a team with a
losing record went 5-3.
Big Time Bay-beeee
It’s that time of year and there are several BIG TIME games this week with very real playoff implications.
1) Colt 45’s vs. MarriedwithRavens
Battle of the Married Men. This game is much more important to Married Man #1. A loss puts MwR’s record at 4-7
and with only two games after that, they essentially must win them both. At this point, a team can technically get into
the playoffs with five wins, but it has never happened before and I would be surprised if this season were any
different. The Colts have less than 1000 points, which could pose a problem if they get into a tiebreaker situation. A
win here will put the Colts in position where another win in one of the final two weeks gives them not only their first
winning record since ROFF’s inaugural season but in an excellent position to clinch a playoff spot. I am not going to
predict winners here, that is the job of another more established writer than myself, but this could be a very close
game! Keep your eye on it!
2) NJ Jacobins vs. Blade Brown
This is the bigger of the two games between Syracuse Alums and friendships will be sunk after this titanic matchup!
The Jacobins rode a huge win last week to vault them into fourth position, with a suddenly nice collection of points;
while Blade suffered a post TO letdown. TO was unavailable for comment at the time of this article’s release. Blade
is in great position with his points to make the playoffs, provided they can convert some of their high scoring affairs
into wins. Blade actually has more points than the Jacobins, but not as many wins. If Blade can remain at least on
the bubble, their points should lift them into the playoffs in the same manner as happened last year. The Jacobins
are on a nifty three game win streak started by yours truly and while not assured a playoff spot, it would be surprising
if they did not get in with at least a 6-7 record. As a result, this game is much more important for Blade to get a win,
than his one time classmate.
3) Brock’s Bandits vs. Nose
Both of these teams will probably make it into the postseason. So unlike the first two games we looked at, this game
will have more an effect on the playoff seedings, than on who will actually be making it. You know that any game with
the Bandits will be a slugfest especially with Alexander, Holt (as long as he can find the perfectly thrown Bulger ball)
and Brady hitting their late season stride; no game will be easy. Nose looked a little gimpy without his golden boy
Carson Palmer last week, but we all had our byes, so this was probably just a one week blunder. What may come
back to haunt Nose is that they remain one of the only two teams in the top eight that does not have 1000 points
yet. A point of contention for the other mile higher who remains outside the elite eight. Nose is looking for their first
trip to the playoffs under new ownership and with six wins so far, it looks like 2005 will be a brighter year than 2004.
While both of these teams look as though they are in postseason form, Nose needs this win more to prove his playoff
worthiness. And just for writing that I have sealed my fate of being knocked out of the playoffs by none other than
Senor Blass.
Get Your Licks In While You Can
Baltimore Tools
The Tools cannot be eliminated this week, but a loss to the Nomads makes their remaining games absolute,
impossibly possible, no holds barred, lose and you will be chum, nightmare scenario, pray to Zeus, Allah, God,
Jupiter and Buddha, but don’t spill your salt, must win games to then even have a remote chance of backing in.
Currently, the highest the Tools can be seeded is fourth. But if either the Jacobins or Nose wins, that top spot
drops. A loss by the Tools puts the top playoff spot at six, and if either 5SS or Colts win this week that top spot drops
even lower. If both 5SS and the Colts win and the Tools lose this week, the only playoff spot possible for the Tools is
the final, eighth seed.
Who the Tools are rooting for:
Duckville Quackers
I will say today that there is a 0% chance that the Quackers will be met with the same rotten luck next year as they
have received the past two years. It seems every year, something happens to prevent this Duckvillite from playing
up to their potential. Last year it was their keepers going down. This year, another keeper, Andre Johnson never
lived up to his hype. The other, Julius, has been hurt. Corey Dillon is suddenly old and bad, while Donovan is now
considering surgery. With each trade the Quackers make it seems someone else on their team goes down. But he
still has Larry Fitzgerald and Marvin Harrison! The Quackers face a similar challenge as the Tools. A loss creates
must win games plus much help.
Who the Quackers are rooting for (same as Tools except):
Shermtanks
This could very well be the last stand for the Shermtanks, so lets give him our full attention. After back to back 2nd
place finishes, the Shermtanks are looking for whatever edge they can get. With 3 games remaining, the only teams
they can catch are those ranked 6, 7 and 8. This week they play the #6 team, 5SS. A loss and the Tanks are
eliminated. Out. LT watch 2006. Which is ironic because the team who could knock them out of the playoffs could
do so with LT landing the biggest punch. A win brings a team the Tanks can catch a little closer.
Who Shermtanks are rooting for:
We’ll Get the Party Started
And everyone else…as if we actually cared about you! The asterisks have announced to the world that there are two
dominating teams in the playoffs by Week 11, far ahead of last years pace (of one)! We are progressing fellow
owners. Congrats go to me. And congrats go to my nemesis, the evil scientist, Nomads in the Deep. We drove to
the draft together plotting strategies, positions and players and look at us now! Next year we are taking a limo! With
hot chicks too! The Bandits are assured at the very least a winning record, which is a great improvement on last
year’s Brock & Awe disaster. No team has never had a winning record and missed the playoffs, so in all likelihood
the Bandit will be one of the few, the proud, the postseason owners. One win in any week and this Bandit will
officially qualify. The Jacobins and Nose are on the good side of the playoff bubble. A win assures Nose their first
winning season under new ownership. A win from the Jacobins will tie their franchise record for most wins ever
achieved in season. In the case of the Jacobins, I guess it really is nurture over nature. A move north of the equator
and the Jacobins have suddenly become greatly improved. Look for Franchise Relocation to be the new vogue in
2006.
And those of you who are 5-5 and 4-6 my suggestion, as a returning post season owner – win the dang games!
Your column will come.
Brick Walls OUT.
It’s that time of year and there are several BIG TIME games this week with very real playoff implications.
1) Colt 45’s vs. MarriedwithRavens
Battle of the Married Men. This game is much more important to Married Man #1. A loss puts MwR’s record at 4-7
and with only two games after that, they essentially must win them both. At this point, a team can technically get into
the playoffs with five wins, but it has never happened before and I would be surprised if this season were any
different. The Colts have less than 1000 points, which could pose a problem if they get into a tiebreaker situation. A
win here will put the Colts in position where another win in one of the final two weeks gives them not only their first
winning record since ROFF’s inaugural season but in an excellent position to clinch a playoff spot. I am not going to
predict winners here, that is the job of another more established writer than myself, but this could be a very close
game! Keep your eye on it!
2) NJ Jacobins vs. Blade Brown
This is the bigger of the two games between Syracuse Alums and friendships will be sunk after this titanic matchup!
The Jacobins rode a huge win last week to vault them into fourth position, with a suddenly nice collection of points;
while Blade suffered a post TO letdown. TO was unavailable for comment at the time of this article’s release. Blade
is in great position with his points to make the playoffs, provided they can convert some of their high scoring affairs
into wins. Blade actually has more points than the Jacobins, but not as many wins. If Blade can remain at least on
the bubble, their points should lift them into the playoffs in the same manner as happened last year. The Jacobins
are on a nifty three game win streak started by yours truly and while not assured a playoff spot, it would be surprising
if they did not get in with at least a 6-7 record. As a result, this game is much more important for Blade to get a win,
than his one time classmate.
3) Brock’s Bandits vs. Nose
Both of these teams will probably make it into the postseason. So unlike the first two games we looked at, this game
will have more an effect on the playoff seedings, than on who will actually be making it. You know that any game with
the Bandits will be a slugfest especially with Alexander, Holt (as long as he can find the perfectly thrown Bulger ball)
and Brady hitting their late season stride; no game will be easy. Nose looked a little gimpy without his golden boy
Carson Palmer last week, but we all had our byes, so this was probably just a one week blunder. What may come
back to haunt Nose is that they remain one of the only two teams in the top eight that does not have 1000 points
yet. A point of contention for the other mile higher who remains outside the elite eight. Nose is looking for their first
trip to the playoffs under new ownership and with six wins so far, it looks like 2005 will be a brighter year than 2004.
While both of these teams look as though they are in postseason form, Nose needs this win more to prove his playoff
worthiness. And just for writing that I have sealed my fate of being knocked out of the playoffs by none other than
Senor Blass.
Get Your Licks In While You Can
Baltimore Tools
The Tools cannot be eliminated this week, but a loss to the Nomads makes their remaining games absolute,
impossibly possible, no holds barred, lose and you will be chum, nightmare scenario, pray to Zeus, Allah, God,
Jupiter and Buddha, but don’t spill your salt, must win games to then even have a remote chance of backing in.
Currently, the highest the Tools can be seeded is fourth. But if either the Jacobins or Nose wins, that top spot
drops. A loss by the Tools puts the top playoff spot at six, and if either 5SS or Colts win this week that top spot drops
even lower. If both 5SS and the Colts win and the Tools lose this week, the only playoff spot possible for the Tools is
the final, eighth seed.
Who the Tools are rooting for:
- BWaT over Born: BWaT is out of reach, Born can be caught and surpassed.
- Shermtanks over 5SS: Brings 5SS a little closer to the Tools.
- Bandits over Nose: Bandits out of reach, Nose can be caught.
- MwR over Colts: Whoever wins this game will still be at least one week out of the Tools reach. But if the Colts
win, they will be 2 games up on the Tools, with 2 games remaining, which is probably too great a lead to catch. - Jacobins over Blade: Catching the Jacobins is next to impossible, while catching Blade is a little more realistic.
- Quackers over propaganda: This is a close one for the Tools, because both these teams are ranked right
near the Tools. If Quackers win, and the Tools win then Tools should be ranked above both these teams
based on their massive point collection.
Duckville Quackers
I will say today that there is a 0% chance that the Quackers will be met with the same rotten luck next year as they
have received the past two years. It seems every year, something happens to prevent this Duckvillite from playing
up to their potential. Last year it was their keepers going down. This year, another keeper, Andre Johnson never
lived up to his hype. The other, Julius, has been hurt. Corey Dillon is suddenly old and bad, while Donovan is now
considering surgery. With each trade the Quackers make it seems someone else on their team goes down. But he
still has Larry Fitzgerald and Marvin Harrison! The Quackers face a similar challenge as the Tools. A loss creates
must win games plus much help.
Who the Quackers are rooting for (same as Tools except):
- Nomads over Tools: Nomads out of reach, Tools can be surpassed.
Shermtanks
This could very well be the last stand for the Shermtanks, so lets give him our full attention. After back to back 2nd
place finishes, the Shermtanks are looking for whatever edge they can get. With 3 games remaining, the only teams
they can catch are those ranked 6, 7 and 8. This week they play the #6 team, 5SS. A loss and the Tanks are
eliminated. Out. LT watch 2006. Which is ironic because the team who could knock them out of the playoffs could
do so with LT landing the biggest punch. A win brings a team the Tanks can catch a little closer.
Who Shermtanks are rooting for:
- MwR over Colts: A win by the Colts puts them at 6 wins and out of Shermtanks reach leaving only two possible
spots in the playoffs. - NJJ over Blade Brown: The Jacobins are too far ahead for Shermtanks, and Blade has a two game edge,
which needs to decrease each week for Shermtanks to have a shot. - BWaT over Born: BWaT out of reach, Born can be caught and surpassed
- Quackers over propoganda: this is a close one, Shermtank needs them both to stay close.
- Nomads over Tools: Nomads out of reach, Tools can be caught and surpassed
We’ll Get the Party Started
And everyone else…as if we actually cared about you! The asterisks have announced to the world that there are two
dominating teams in the playoffs by Week 11, far ahead of last years pace (of one)! We are progressing fellow
owners. Congrats go to me. And congrats go to my nemesis, the evil scientist, Nomads in the Deep. We drove to
the draft together plotting strategies, positions and players and look at us now! Next year we are taking a limo! With
hot chicks too! The Bandits are assured at the very least a winning record, which is a great improvement on last
year’s Brock & Awe disaster. No team has never had a winning record and missed the playoffs, so in all likelihood
the Bandit will be one of the few, the proud, the postseason owners. One win in any week and this Bandit will
officially qualify. The Jacobins and Nose are on the good side of the playoff bubble. A win assures Nose their first
winning season under new ownership. A win from the Jacobins will tie their franchise record for most wins ever
achieved in season. In the case of the Jacobins, I guess it really is nurture over nature. A move north of the equator
and the Jacobins have suddenly become greatly improved. Look for Franchise Relocation to be the new vogue in
2006.
And those of you who are 5-5 and 4-6 my suggestion, as a returning post season owner – win the dang games!
Your column will come.
Brick Walls OUT.
