And suddenly there are two weeks left. TWO!!!! TTTWWWOOOOO!!!! This week and then one more!!!! That’s it.
And then do you know how many weeks till next year’s draft? Thirty-Eight. Oy Vay. Get me Doc Brown, a Delorean
and 1.21 Jigowatts!
If there is one thing we have all learned in the past three years, it is when it comes to the postseason and the ROFF
Trophy, the regular season is completely meaningless. Much to my 10-1 record’s dismay. Once you get that
asterisk, you are in, tabla rasa. There are no records. There is no history. The postseason is fantasy football
witness relocation. Two of the past three champions won it all with losing records. But no one would have guessed
that they had a losing record. Why? Because they stormed through the post season beating teams with far better
regular season records. The key is their players got hot at just the right time. Case in point: last year, heading into
Week 12 Nomads in the Deep were sitting at #10 with a 4-7 record, hoping to crack the bubble. Well they did, and
then never lost again. My pessimistic prediction for this year: Brick Walls have been atop the standings since before
the draft. Bulger goes down for the season in Week 12 and they never win again. (It will be true, just you watch. I
will be accepting donations in memory of Brick Walls & Trees at several National Foundations, names of which will be
provided at a later date.)
Three to Get Ready
2004 was the year for Dubya to get elected and the BoSox to win the Series, but no ROFF post season for Brock &
Awe. 2005 brings Scooter Libby and the ChiSox, but Chris Brockman returns to the ROFF postseason. Which year
would he rather have, that is the real question! Two wins in two weeks over two playoff caliber teams and the
Bandits have earned a playoff berth. Well done, indeed. That makes three owners in the post season, and by my
calculations, these were the same three owners who eschewed a night of drinking and bridal showers at the House of
Blues for good old fashioned AC gambling. No doubt this will be another popular trend in 2006.
Brick Walls are guaranteed at least the third seed, Nomads at least the 4th seed and the Bandits at least the 6th
seed.
Counting their Money
What are the odds of one of the 6-5 teams not making the playoffs? The last two years, the 6-5 teams all made the
playoffs. None of them play each other in the next two weeks, but two losses will put them at 6-7, which would be bad
since these teams don’t have a massive point total. No doubt, these teams won’t be laying down, not this week at
least!
Gatekeepers
5SS and Blade are in pretty powerful positions right now. Provided that they each win one of the next two games it
will be quite difficult for anyone below them to catch them because of their high point totals. More on these two riff
raffs later.
Bubble Boys
The Vikings lose Daunte and they go 3-0. MwR loses Daunte they go 0-3. Donovan goes down, the Eagles go 0-2
but the Quackers go 1-1. If any of the 4-7 teams lose they can only get the 7th or 8th seed, and if they lose and 5SS
or Blade wins, that is one more playoff spot that they cannot reach. If both 5SS and Blade win, then if you lose as a
4-7 team, you are eliminated.
The Devout Ones
There is hope. No one is eliminated, not even the Tools or the Tanks. They can reach up and each make the
playoffs if they get enough points and the other teams keep losing. They technically can become the 7th and 8th
seed. Win or lose, however, if 5SS and Blade win, then the Tools and Tanks are eliminated from the playoff race. If
only one of them wins, then they lose one spot in the playoffs. If the Tanks or Tools lose, they are eliminated.
Asterisk and Elimination Scenarios
Believe this will you: this week if certain games go certain ways, there could be EIGHT teams with asterisks by next
Tuesday!!! All of this comes down to how two teams will do (get your holiday lists and checkbooks out now): Five
Second Stare and his hobbling co-columnist Blade Brown.
If they both lose:
If they both win:
And for you 6-5 teams
Playoffs are Set if…
big, Big, BIG Games
Quackers vs. Blade
Quackers lose, then just 1 playoff spot is open to them, and if 5SS beats the Nomads, then the Quackers are
eliminated with a loss. A loss will almost certainly keep Blade on the 8 seed, but it makes next week a MUST WIN
game against MwR.
Nomads vs 5SS
The past two champions square off in a really big game. Nomads are in and 5SS is holding up on the bubble. A win
will almost assure that 5SS will be in the postseason because of their point total. A loss by 5SS opens the floodgates
for all the teams below them and creates a MUST WIN game next week against the expatriated Russian.
Born vs. Colts
Colts win and 5SS and Blade lose, the Colts get the asterisk. Born loses and 5SS and Blade wins, then Born is
eliminated.
MwR vs. NJJ
NJJ wins and 5SS and Blade lose, the Jacobins get the asterisk. MwR loses and 5SS and Blade wins, then MwR is
eliminated.
Prop vs. Tools
Tools lose and they are out. If the Tools win and 5SS wins then one playoff spot is gone, if Blade wins too, Tools are
eliminated even with a win. propaganda needs a miracle on ice with their low point total. Two wins will bring them to
6-7 but in all liklihood they will not have much more than 1100 points, which is far short of what will probably be
necessary.
Tanks vs. Nose
If Nose wins and 5SS and Blade lose, the Nose gets the asterisk. Tanks lose they are out. If the Tanks win and 5SS
wins, then one playoff spot is gone, if Blade wins too, Tanks are eliminated even with a win.
Bandits vs. BWaT
Both of them are in, so this really doesn’t effect anyone until the playoff schedule is set. The winner here could end
up being the #1 seed. It could also be a warm up match for a more important postseason hold-up.
Gobble, gobble bitches!
And then do you know how many weeks till next year’s draft? Thirty-Eight. Oy Vay. Get me Doc Brown, a Delorean
and 1.21 Jigowatts!
If there is one thing we have all learned in the past three years, it is when it comes to the postseason and the ROFF
Trophy, the regular season is completely meaningless. Much to my 10-1 record’s dismay. Once you get that
asterisk, you are in, tabla rasa. There are no records. There is no history. The postseason is fantasy football
witness relocation. Two of the past three champions won it all with losing records. But no one would have guessed
that they had a losing record. Why? Because they stormed through the post season beating teams with far better
regular season records. The key is their players got hot at just the right time. Case in point: last year, heading into
Week 12 Nomads in the Deep were sitting at #10 with a 4-7 record, hoping to crack the bubble. Well they did, and
then never lost again. My pessimistic prediction for this year: Brick Walls have been atop the standings since before
the draft. Bulger goes down for the season in Week 12 and they never win again. (It will be true, just you watch. I
will be accepting donations in memory of Brick Walls & Trees at several National Foundations, names of which will be
provided at a later date.)
Three to Get Ready
2004 was the year for Dubya to get elected and the BoSox to win the Series, but no ROFF post season for Brock &
Awe. 2005 brings Scooter Libby and the ChiSox, but Chris Brockman returns to the ROFF postseason. Which year
would he rather have, that is the real question! Two wins in two weeks over two playoff caliber teams and the
Bandits have earned a playoff berth. Well done, indeed. That makes three owners in the post season, and by my
calculations, these were the same three owners who eschewed a night of drinking and bridal showers at the House of
Blues for good old fashioned AC gambling. No doubt this will be another popular trend in 2006.
Brick Walls are guaranteed at least the third seed, Nomads at least the 4th seed and the Bandits at least the 6th
seed.
Counting their Money
What are the odds of one of the 6-5 teams not making the playoffs? The last two years, the 6-5 teams all made the
playoffs. None of them play each other in the next two weeks, but two losses will put them at 6-7, which would be bad
since these teams don’t have a massive point total. No doubt, these teams won’t be laying down, not this week at
least!
Gatekeepers
5SS and Blade are in pretty powerful positions right now. Provided that they each win one of the next two games it
will be quite difficult for anyone below them to catch them because of their high point totals. More on these two riff
raffs later.
Bubble Boys
The Vikings lose Daunte and they go 3-0. MwR loses Daunte they go 0-3. Donovan goes down, the Eagles go 0-2
but the Quackers go 1-1. If any of the 4-7 teams lose they can only get the 7th or 8th seed, and if they lose and 5SS
or Blade wins, that is one more playoff spot that they cannot reach. If both 5SS and Blade win, then if you lose as a
4-7 team, you are eliminated.
The Devout Ones
There is hope. No one is eliminated, not even the Tools or the Tanks. They can reach up and each make the
playoffs if they get enough points and the other teams keep losing. They technically can become the 7th and 8th
seed. Win or lose, however, if 5SS and Blade win, then the Tools and Tanks are eliminated from the playoff race. If
only one of them wins, then they lose one spot in the playoffs. If the Tanks or Tools lose, they are eliminated.
Asterisk and Elimination Scenarios
Believe this will you: this week if certain games go certain ways, there could be EIGHT teams with asterisks by next
Tuesday!!! All of this comes down to how two teams will do (get your holiday lists and checkbooks out now): Five
Second Stare and his hobbling co-columnist Blade Brown.
If they both lose:
- The Jacobins, Nose and Colts earn a playoff berth if they win this week
If they both win:
- Tools and Tanks are eliminated with a win or loss.
- MwR, Quackers, Born and propaganda are eliminated with a loss.
And for you 6-5 teams
- These teams can qualify, win or lose, if MwR, Quackers, Born and prop all lose this week.
Playoffs are Set if…
- 5SS and Blade win and MwR, Quackers, Born and prop lose; then Jacobins, Nose, Colts, Blade and 5SS are
in, and Tanks, Tools, prop, Born, Quackers and MwR are eliminated and the 2005 ROFF playoff roster is
SET!!!!!
big, Big, BIG Games
Quackers vs. Blade
Quackers lose, then just 1 playoff spot is open to them, and if 5SS beats the Nomads, then the Quackers are
eliminated with a loss. A loss will almost certainly keep Blade on the 8 seed, but it makes next week a MUST WIN
game against MwR.
Nomads vs 5SS
The past two champions square off in a really big game. Nomads are in and 5SS is holding up on the bubble. A win
will almost assure that 5SS will be in the postseason because of their point total. A loss by 5SS opens the floodgates
for all the teams below them and creates a MUST WIN game next week against the expatriated Russian.
Born vs. Colts
Colts win and 5SS and Blade lose, the Colts get the asterisk. Born loses and 5SS and Blade wins, then Born is
eliminated.
MwR vs. NJJ
NJJ wins and 5SS and Blade lose, the Jacobins get the asterisk. MwR loses and 5SS and Blade wins, then MwR is
eliminated.
Prop vs. Tools
Tools lose and they are out. If the Tools win and 5SS wins then one playoff spot is gone, if Blade wins too, Tools are
eliminated even with a win. propaganda needs a miracle on ice with their low point total. Two wins will bring them to
6-7 but in all liklihood they will not have much more than 1100 points, which is far short of what will probably be
necessary.
Tanks vs. Nose
If Nose wins and 5SS and Blade lose, the Nose gets the asterisk. Tanks lose they are out. If the Tanks win and 5SS
wins, then one playoff spot is gone, if Blade wins too, Tanks are eliminated even with a win.
Bandits vs. BWaT
Both of them are in, so this really doesn’t effect anyone until the playoff schedule is set. The winner here could end
up being the #1 seed. It could also be a warm up match for a more important postseason hold-up.
Gobble, gobble bitches!
