Love is in the air.
Everyone knows about the relationships that Gregg, Josh, Dave, Marc, and Nick are in. But now comes word (via
the message board no less) that Jason Sherman is no longer available for all the ladies out there. It’s always a sad
day when a true player finally settles down and has to retire his jersey in the player hall of fame. But it’s also a very
sad day for all the other women who were waiting for their chance to be the lucky one. I had my investigative
reporter (Nick Serrano) speak to several current and former women in Jason’s life to get their thoughts. Here are
some excerpts.
“I don’t care who he is dating as long as we can still hook up whenever I’m in town for business.”
- Hilary Duff (longtime booty call)
“He was too fast for me anyway.”
- Danica Patrick (brief torrid affair)
“Finally, now I can have Marc all to myself”
- Stephanie (aka Marc’s significant other)
“I’ll miss his gentle touch and spooning with him on Sunday mornings”
- Marc Epstein (commissioner)
“It’s a sad day for the O.P’s (original playa’s) as we have lost another member, no a true pioneer in the game. We
wish him well and will plan his shrine at the player hall of fame next to Brian Austin Green.”
- Jason Cantor (one of the last remaining O.P.’s)
We do not know what this means for the four remaining O.P.’s in the league (Jay, Chris, Rich, and Parker). Why are
they O.P.’s:
We’re talking four guys who are on the same level as Tommy Lee and Wilt Chamberlain.
In other news, the message board is now the mode of communication which will be used for all future
announcements.
Look for the following future posts:
Some random ROFFL items and questions
League Related Thoughts
Shout out to my man Jay Cantor who played a good game this week. I was truly lucky. Never will LaDanian
Tomlinson perform that poorly. For those of you that always wondered what happens when two extremely good
looking men play each other in fantasy football? Wonder no more.
Whatever happens at the end of the season, you have to give Scott some credit and his season should go down in
ROFFL history. A 7-0 start is amazing. Players have been injured (Bulger), byes have passed for his studs (LaMont,
Westbrook, etc). The man just keeps winning. Chris Cooley and Indy Defense may be the two biggest reasons why.
At the seven week point, Navid is having the best season for any champion so far in the history of ROFFL. Most
teams struggle the year after winning the championship.
That will be the last bad week for Brock’s team. Brady and Branch have had their bye weeks. Holt may miss another
week, but don’t expect him to miss many more games. Last week was the first game he’s missed in his seven year
career. But like I said, that bench could come back to haunt him.
Jarrett is having an impressive season at 5-2. He’s taken his impressive September winning record into October.
One interesting note is that he only has the 8th most points so far, yet sits in 4th place.
MwR and Colt .45’s are currently the two teams that may avoid that dreaded final weekend run for the last remaining
playoffs.
Those final one or two spots will come down to FSS, Tools, me, NJ Jacobins, and one of the 2-5 teams. This is
crunch time people.
It’s that time of the year when injuries start to happen and some people who have been hurt start coming back from
their injuries. This is a vital time for all owners to keep track of player’s news in order to win this league.
I predict a run of trades these last few weeks before the trade deadline. Expect the usual suspects to be involved (i.
e. Gregg), but look for someone to make some bold moves in order to obtain keepers for next year or trade away a
star player they are losing at the end of the year anyway.
I believe we are in the midst of a conspiracy. I think Jason Sherman is throwing the season in an attempt to obtain
the #1 draft pick and select LaDanian Tomlinson on his way to a three year reign as champion and “most hated
league member”. The duo of LT and Cedric Benson could be deadly. Notice how he has made only 8 moves
(second fewest to Dave at 4). Notice how he is unwilling to drop or trade any of his players (Kevin Jones for Hines
Ward excluding). I think he called up Peyton and told him to have a subpar year. Someone investigate this.
Finally, a shout out to Dave Allocco who is working like crazy. Just further proof that teachers are underappreciated
and underpaid. In just under 3 months, Dave has already been threatened, embarrassed, and sleep deprived. Yet,
not one underage student has propositioned him for a better grade. Not one.
“Wine Em’, Dine Em’, 69 Em”
Everyone knows about the relationships that Gregg, Josh, Dave, Marc, and Nick are in. But now comes word (via
the message board no less) that Jason Sherman is no longer available for all the ladies out there. It’s always a sad
day when a true player finally settles down and has to retire his jersey in the player hall of fame. But it’s also a very
sad day for all the other women who were waiting for their chance to be the lucky one. I had my investigative
reporter (Nick Serrano) speak to several current and former women in Jason’s life to get their thoughts. Here are
some excerpts.
“I don’t care who he is dating as long as we can still hook up whenever I’m in town for business.”
- Hilary Duff (longtime booty call)
“He was too fast for me anyway.”
- Danica Patrick (brief torrid affair)
“Finally, now I can have Marc all to myself”
- Stephanie (aka Marc’s significant other)
“I’ll miss his gentle touch and spooning with him on Sunday mornings”
- Marc Epstein (commissioner)
“It’s a sad day for the O.P’s (original playa’s) as we have lost another member, no a true pioneer in the game. We
wish him well and will plan his shrine at the player hall of fame next to Brian Austin Green.”
- Jason Cantor (one of the last remaining O.P.’s)
We do not know what this means for the four remaining O.P.’s in the league (Jay, Chris, Rich, and Parker). Why are
they O.P.’s:
- Jay lives by the motto “Wine Em’, Dine Em’, 69 Em’.”
- Parker gets women by just dropping his pants and asking “Your place or mine?”
- Rich uses sympathy and the same excuses as Tom Benson.
- Chris is balding, lives at home, and has savings closer to negative than positive. Yet, he still has eight girls he
sees on the side (one for each day of the week and two for Sundays).
We’re talking four guys who are on the same level as Tommy Lee and Wilt Chamberlain.
In other news, the message board is now the mode of communication which will be used for all future
announcements.
Look for the following future posts:
- Marc announcing his engagement.
- Josh announcing the birth of his first born.
- Dave announcing he is moving out of NJ.
Some random ROFFL items and questions
- Did you know Mewelde Moore has never scored a touchdown until last weekend?
- By Wednesday morning, 12 teams talked ‘smack’ on yahoo.
- I wonder how many people in the league pay for StatTracker?
- Jason Cantor might me be running away with the race for most message board posts, but I am winning the
award for most transactions. - Does anyone other than Scott know exactly what Navid does? I’m still confused by what he wrote in the draft
book.
League Related Thoughts
Shout out to my man Jay Cantor who played a good game this week. I was truly lucky. Never will LaDanian
Tomlinson perform that poorly. For those of you that always wondered what happens when two extremely good
looking men play each other in fantasy football? Wonder no more.
Whatever happens at the end of the season, you have to give Scott some credit and his season should go down in
ROFFL history. A 7-0 start is amazing. Players have been injured (Bulger), byes have passed for his studs (LaMont,
Westbrook, etc). The man just keeps winning. Chris Cooley and Indy Defense may be the two biggest reasons why.
At the seven week point, Navid is having the best season for any champion so far in the history of ROFFL. Most
teams struggle the year after winning the championship.
That will be the last bad week for Brock’s team. Brady and Branch have had their bye weeks. Holt may miss another
week, but don’t expect him to miss many more games. Last week was the first game he’s missed in his seven year
career. But like I said, that bench could come back to haunt him.
Jarrett is having an impressive season at 5-2. He’s taken his impressive September winning record into October.
One interesting note is that he only has the 8th most points so far, yet sits in 4th place.
MwR and Colt .45’s are currently the two teams that may avoid that dreaded final weekend run for the last remaining
playoffs.
Those final one or two spots will come down to FSS, Tools, me, NJ Jacobins, and one of the 2-5 teams. This is
crunch time people.
It’s that time of the year when injuries start to happen and some people who have been hurt start coming back from
their injuries. This is a vital time for all owners to keep track of player’s news in order to win this league.
I predict a run of trades these last few weeks before the trade deadline. Expect the usual suspects to be involved (i.
e. Gregg), but look for someone to make some bold moves in order to obtain keepers for next year or trade away a
star player they are losing at the end of the year anyway.
I believe we are in the midst of a conspiracy. I think Jason Sherman is throwing the season in an attempt to obtain
the #1 draft pick and select LaDanian Tomlinson on his way to a three year reign as champion and “most hated
league member”. The duo of LT and Cedric Benson could be deadly. Notice how he has made only 8 moves
(second fewest to Dave at 4). Notice how he is unwilling to drop or trade any of his players (Kevin Jones for Hines
Ward excluding). I think he called up Peyton and told him to have a subpar year. Someone investigate this.
Finally, a shout out to Dave Allocco who is working like crazy. Just further proof that teachers are underappreciated
and underpaid. In just under 3 months, Dave has already been threatened, embarrassed, and sleep deprived. Yet,
not one underage student has propositioned him for a better grade. Not one.
“Wine Em’, Dine Em’, 69 Em”
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