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And if you don’t know what that means, then you aren’t a fan of the most anticipated film to come out all year. That’s
right folks, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is coming out this
Friday and Jay has already cited his intention to watch the film and write a review. I can’t wait.
btw, Jay mentioned in his latest WGLPT that I’m one of his favorite people. Well Jay used to be one of my favorite
people. Now he doesn’t return emails. I come to his apartment and he puts on a fake woman’s voice and says “Jay’s
not home”. Basically Jay is like Chris Chambers, dead to me. Actually, I take that back. I still like Chambers. I’m going
to keep him next year. He’s due for a huge year.
I’m just kidding. I love Jay. He’s actually been very busy. He’s teaching the future of our country, fighting for the
playoffs, dressing up as a guy who was popular in 1999, and writing movie reviews. His movie review schedule is as
follows:
Stranger Than Fiction – Nov. 10
Casino Royale – Nov. 17
The Fountain – Nov. 22
Did I mention its sexy time? Well, it is.
And no, we are not bringing sexy back. It’s already here and it’s sexy time.
So this article will be dedicated to all the sexy league members.
But before we get into that: A quick shout out to the sexy Arnold “Red” Auerbach. May he rest in peace. Whenever
someone important in sports passes away, I always love reading the articles and stories about the man. Much like
Wellington Mara last year, Red’s passing just shows what a great man he was and how much he was respected. I just
hope that when my time comes, some people will speak about me in the same way they speak about Wellington and
Red. I think we all hope for that. The world will miss you Red. Stay sexy up there.
In other news, the sexiest fantasy basketball league has started and you guys who didn’t join have no idea what you
are missing. The ROFBL (or rofbl) is fourteen deep thanks to some heavy recruiting by Christopher Brockman. The
draft went off nicely will roughly six league members showing up at various times. Although the defending champ’s
presence was missing, thus disappointing the world. Jason Sherman has already declared victory although he drafted
two injured players and all white guys. I hope a sexy time to all you ROFBL/ROFFL league participants.
Now on to the sexy teams: (In order of rankings as always)
Navid – The sexy two time defending champion is as sexy as he’s ever been (well not in the picture on the website, but
you can’t be sexy all the time, right?). His team is scary and people are already ceding victory. However, just like the
Detroit Tigers, the USA basketball team, and the Brazilian soccer team - nothing is guaranteed.
Josh – The sexiest league member who spends his weekends working with a pro team is sitting pretty in the #2 spot.
Let’s hope Bush’s injury isn’t as severe as Hasselbeck’s. Now there is a report that Maroney might be hurt. Injuries are
happening at the worst possible time for this playoff contender.
Chris – There isn’t much else to say about this sexy Maine man. Chris is riding some serious mojo. No, not Austin
Powers mojo, we talking Friday Night Lights mojo. It’s like every Sunday night or Monday night something unbelievable
happens for Chris’ teams. Seriously Chris, go out and buy a lottery ticket. No forget that. Walk up to the next hottest
broad (there I used the term) you see. Preferably someone famous and pull a Costanza. Say the following, “Hi, my
name is Chris. I’m bald, I live at home with my parents, and my paycheck has more digits after the decimal point that
before it. Would you like to go to dinner?” A G note says the broad (there I used it again) says “Yes”.
Scott – The first sexy trade of the 2006 season was pulled off as Scott brings home the top 10 stud RB Kevin Jones in
exchange for Reggie Wayne. You know, KJ, the guy half of you hated during draft time and labeled a perennial
underachiever. I know the trade I made to Nick was very one-sided, but like I said in my first article after the trade was
made. I hope KJ becomes a stud and everyone who doubted him regrets not accepting my trade offers for him. Let’s
show some respect to Scott for sticking with Mike Bell. Many people would have dropped him a long time ago, but
Scott kept him and that might turn out to be his best decision yet.
Jason – My sexy opponent last week was the #1 draft pick holder in both ROFFL and ROFBL. I don’t know if that
means anything, but Jason is very proud of that. He’s also very proud to have both Lebron and LaDanian. He’s also
very proud to one of the five league members going to Mardi Gras this year. And he’s proud to be an American, where
at least he knows he’s free. You get the point. He’s just a very proud man.
Jarrett – The man with the sexiest group of QB’s has a new email address. Did I miss something or did Gregg help
Jarrett get a job at MLB? Last I heard Jarrett was selling suits out of the trunk of his car, now he’s a Buyer for MLB
Advanced Media. Congrats on the new job buddy. Quick question, if Jay went as Neo. Was Jarrett Morpheus or Trinity?
Marc – Ah, how the mighty have fallen. The weaknesses on his team have started to show and Marc is now sitting in
seventh place with a two game losing streak. But with Roy Williams done with his bye week and the Chicago Defense
getting to play several more JV teams, the future doesn’t look too bad. Even if he does stink up the joint, he’ll always
have a lifetime of worship from the rest of the league members and remain the sexiest commissioner.
Dave – The sexiest husband to be, aka the other busiest guy in the league, is one trade away from having a really
handsome team (to borrow the term from Jay). Dave has shown that his fantasy football strategy does work.
Sometimes the less you stress over the game and just be patient and let things happen, the better it is.
Gregg – The sexiest man with a three game winning streak is riding high behind the gun slinging arm of Peyton
Manning. DeAngelo comes back next week and Gregg’s plan just might be working after all. Give the man some credit;
he never wavered from his strategy.
Jay – I already said enough about Jay. But I’ll add this little tidbit. We have a Reuben Droughns sighting. Hey, the New
York Jets defense will do that for your running backs.
Parker – I talked to the sexiest west coast league member the other day for the first time in a long time and I have to
admit, I miss having a little Parker Deay in my life. Parker has a big game this week as he faces against his long time
friend Nick. Edge is on a bye, thankfully saving Parker the decision of having to play him.
Rich – The sexiest foul mouthed MF’er in the league has five league members flying in to visit him in February 2007.
Rich you still have time to move. I’m sure your parents will take you back. Just offer them Marques Colston and Eli
Manning. Wait, you can’t trade fantasy players for real life things? Since when…
Nick – I would label Nick sexy, but he’ll just get upset at me. He’ll claim that I’m boosting his ego too much and then
make fun of me on the message board like he always does. Ah, screw it. Nick is one sexy SOB. And his team is looking
sexier with the addition of Reggie Wayne. Did I mention Nick is one sexy man? Well he is….
Have a sexy time this weekend everyone!!!
right folks, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan is coming out this
Friday and Jay has already cited his intention to watch the film and write a review. I can’t wait.
btw, Jay mentioned in his latest WGLPT that I’m one of his favorite people. Well Jay used to be one of my favorite
people. Now he doesn’t return emails. I come to his apartment and he puts on a fake woman’s voice and says “Jay’s
not home”. Basically Jay is like Chris Chambers, dead to me. Actually, I take that back. I still like Chambers. I’m going
to keep him next year. He’s due for a huge year.
I’m just kidding. I love Jay. He’s actually been very busy. He’s teaching the future of our country, fighting for the
playoffs, dressing up as a guy who was popular in 1999, and writing movie reviews. His movie review schedule is as
follows:
Stranger Than Fiction – Nov. 10
Casino Royale – Nov. 17
The Fountain – Nov. 22
Did I mention its sexy time? Well, it is.
And no, we are not bringing sexy back. It’s already here and it’s sexy time.
So this article will be dedicated to all the sexy league members.
But before we get into that: A quick shout out to the sexy Arnold “Red” Auerbach. May he rest in peace. Whenever
someone important in sports passes away, I always love reading the articles and stories about the man. Much like
Wellington Mara last year, Red’s passing just shows what a great man he was and how much he was respected. I just
hope that when my time comes, some people will speak about me in the same way they speak about Wellington and
Red. I think we all hope for that. The world will miss you Red. Stay sexy up there.
In other news, the sexiest fantasy basketball league has started and you guys who didn’t join have no idea what you
are missing. The ROFBL (or rofbl) is fourteen deep thanks to some heavy recruiting by Christopher Brockman. The
draft went off nicely will roughly six league members showing up at various times. Although the defending champ’s
presence was missing, thus disappointing the world. Jason Sherman has already declared victory although he drafted
two injured players and all white guys. I hope a sexy time to all you ROFBL/ROFFL league participants.
Now on to the sexy teams: (In order of rankings as always)
Navid – The sexy two time defending champion is as sexy as he’s ever been (well not in the picture on the website, but
you can’t be sexy all the time, right?). His team is scary and people are already ceding victory. However, just like the
Detroit Tigers, the USA basketball team, and the Brazilian soccer team - nothing is guaranteed.
Josh – The sexiest league member who spends his weekends working with a pro team is sitting pretty in the #2 spot.
Let’s hope Bush’s injury isn’t as severe as Hasselbeck’s. Now there is a report that Maroney might be hurt. Injuries are
happening at the worst possible time for this playoff contender.
Chris – There isn’t much else to say about this sexy Maine man. Chris is riding some serious mojo. No, not Austin
Powers mojo, we talking Friday Night Lights mojo. It’s like every Sunday night or Monday night something unbelievable
happens for Chris’ teams. Seriously Chris, go out and buy a lottery ticket. No forget that. Walk up to the next hottest
broad (there I used the term) you see. Preferably someone famous and pull a Costanza. Say the following, “Hi, my
name is Chris. I’m bald, I live at home with my parents, and my paycheck has more digits after the decimal point that
before it. Would you like to go to dinner?” A G note says the broad (there I used it again) says “Yes”.
Scott – The first sexy trade of the 2006 season was pulled off as Scott brings home the top 10 stud RB Kevin Jones in
exchange for Reggie Wayne. You know, KJ, the guy half of you hated during draft time and labeled a perennial
underachiever. I know the trade I made to Nick was very one-sided, but like I said in my first article after the trade was
made. I hope KJ becomes a stud and everyone who doubted him regrets not accepting my trade offers for him. Let’s
show some respect to Scott for sticking with Mike Bell. Many people would have dropped him a long time ago, but
Scott kept him and that might turn out to be his best decision yet.
Jason – My sexy opponent last week was the #1 draft pick holder in both ROFFL and ROFBL. I don’t know if that
means anything, but Jason is very proud of that. He’s also very proud to have both Lebron and LaDanian. He’s also
very proud to one of the five league members going to Mardi Gras this year. And he’s proud to be an American, where
at least he knows he’s free. You get the point. He’s just a very proud man.
Jarrett – The man with the sexiest group of QB’s has a new email address. Did I miss something or did Gregg help
Jarrett get a job at MLB? Last I heard Jarrett was selling suits out of the trunk of his car, now he’s a Buyer for MLB
Advanced Media. Congrats on the new job buddy. Quick question, if Jay went as Neo. Was Jarrett Morpheus or Trinity?
Marc – Ah, how the mighty have fallen. The weaknesses on his team have started to show and Marc is now sitting in
seventh place with a two game losing streak. But with Roy Williams done with his bye week and the Chicago Defense
getting to play several more JV teams, the future doesn’t look too bad. Even if he does stink up the joint, he’ll always
have a lifetime of worship from the rest of the league members and remain the sexiest commissioner.
Dave – The sexiest husband to be, aka the other busiest guy in the league, is one trade away from having a really
handsome team (to borrow the term from Jay). Dave has shown that his fantasy football strategy does work.
Sometimes the less you stress over the game and just be patient and let things happen, the better it is.
Gregg – The sexiest man with a three game winning streak is riding high behind the gun slinging arm of Peyton
Manning. DeAngelo comes back next week and Gregg’s plan just might be working after all. Give the man some credit;
he never wavered from his strategy.
Jay – I already said enough about Jay. But I’ll add this little tidbit. We have a Reuben Droughns sighting. Hey, the New
York Jets defense will do that for your running backs.
Parker – I talked to the sexiest west coast league member the other day for the first time in a long time and I have to
admit, I miss having a little Parker Deay in my life. Parker has a big game this week as he faces against his long time
friend Nick. Edge is on a bye, thankfully saving Parker the decision of having to play him.
Rich – The sexiest foul mouthed MF’er in the league has five league members flying in to visit him in February 2007.
Rich you still have time to move. I’m sure your parents will take you back. Just offer them Marques Colston and Eli
Manning. Wait, you can’t trade fantasy players for real life things? Since when…
Nick – I would label Nick sexy, but he’ll just get upset at me. He’ll claim that I’m boosting his ego too much and then
make fun of me on the message board like he always does. Ah, screw it. Nick is one sexy SOB. And his team is looking
sexier with the addition of Reggie Wayne. Did I mention Nick is one sexy man? Well he is….
Have a sexy time this weekend everyone!!!