worse fantasy season in my life. If you don’t believe me, lets just say I was in three leagues. I finished dead last in all
three. My records in those leagues were 4-9, 4-9, and 3-10. My teams consisted of such underperforming guys as
Chris Chambers (on all 3 teams), Ronnie Brown, Matt Hasselback, Cadillac Williams, Matt Jones, and Jake Delhomme.
As always it was a great season. Marc did an outstanding job (albeit inconsistent due to his busier work/life schedule).
The columnists were front and center thanks to the steady work of Jay, Marc, and Scott. Plus the welcomed addition of
Tanks Trends (Jason may or may not write again next year. Depends on how he heals from that arm injury he
suffered), and the Jay’s movie reviews have added some variety to the website.
A round of applause for everyone.
2006 Regular Season Year in Review:
Co-MVP:
Drew Brees
LaDanian Tomlinson
All First Team:
QB – Drew Brees
RB – LaDanian Tomlinson
RB – Steven Jackson
WR – Reggie Wayne
WR – Chad Johnson
WR – Torry Holt
TE – Marques Colston
K – Robbie Gould
DEF – Chicago
All Second Team:
QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Larry Johnson
RB – Brian Westbrook
WR – Darrell Jackson
WR – Terrell Owens
WR – Andre Johnson
TE – Antonio Gates
K – Jeff Wilkens
DEF – Baltimore
All Third Team:
QB – Carson Palmer
RB – Willie Parker
RB – Frank Gore
WR – Donald Driver
WR – Steve Smith
WR – Wes Welker
TE – Kellen Winslow
K – Nate Keading
DEF – Miami
All Rookie Team:
QB – Vince Young
RB – Maurice Jones-Drew
RB – Reggie Bush
WR – Greg Jennings
WR – Santonio Holmes
WR – Nate Washington
TE – Owen Daniels
All Sleeper Team (none of these players were drafted):
QB – Tony Romo
RB – Maurice Jones-Drew
RB – LaDell Betts
WR – Wes Welker
WR – Mike Furrey
WR – Jericho Cotchery
TE – Marques Colston
K – Robbie Gould
DEF – San Diego
All Bust Team:
QB – Daunte Culpepper
RB – LaMont Jordan
RB – Shaun Alexander
WR – Chris Chambers
WR – Randy Moss
WR – Matt Jones
TE – Vernon Davis
K – Neil Rackers
DEF – Indianapolis
Hope for 2007: For the six teams already out of it, there is nothing but hope for a better season in 2007.
Myself:
2007 Outlook: Can you say first repeat toilet bowl winner ever?
Good news: Nate Burleson cannot be kept next year and will be available at the #1 pick.
Parker:
Probable keepers: Joseph Addai and Larry Fitzgerald
Other candidates: Marvin Harrison, Edgerrin James, Ahman Green, Tatum Bell.
Sad Note: The Marvin and Fitz show comes to an end.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – His team name will contain an animal.
Uncertainties –
• Will his playoff drought end (going on 3 years)?
• Will that long delayed trade with Jarrett finally go through?
Good news: No person has ever not made the playoffs, after failing to make it the previous three years.
Bad news: No person has ever failed to make the playoffs in three consecutive years.
Rich:
Probable keepers: Marques Colston and Shaun Alexander
Other candidates: Carnell Williams, Leon Washington, TJ Houshmandzadeh, and Eli Manning.
Sad Note: He can no longer use Katrina for sympathy.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties –
• His team name will be Born to Run My Mouth.
• He will write exactly one funny column/blog piece and then never be heard from again.
• He will draft a WR way too early.
Uncertainties – Will his playoff drought end or will he finally capture the toilet bowl after narrowly escaping it two years
in a row?
Good news: Rich most likely doesn’t have to worry about crappers, I mean keepers, Cadillac and Eli again.
Bad news: Rich will draft Cadillac with his first pick and Eli with his second pick. Sometime around the sixth round, Rich
will say out loud, “Why did I draft Cadillac and Eli again?”
Dave:
Probable keepers: Andre Johnson and Donovan McNabb (if healthy at the beginning of next season) or Julius Jones.
Other candidates: Randy Moss
Sad Note: The Tiki Barber era comes to an end.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties –
• New Jersey Forever.
• He will write two “smack talk” posts. One at the beginning of the year (which will be left on for the remainder of
the season) and one when the season is over.
Uncertainties –
• I’ve said it before, and next year will be the true test, but will a runner-up/toilet bowl/runner-up/toilet bowl pattern
form.
• Will Donovan start next season?
Good news: Dave will draft or trade for the next stud RB for the Giants, Brandon Jacobs.
Bad news: He’ll have to ask Tina for permission first.
Nick:
Probable keepers: Tony Romo and Reggie Wayne
Other candidates: Antonio Gates, Wali Lundy, Darrell Jackson, and Warrick Dunn.
Sad Note: Apparently Nick doesn’t hit his stride until mid-season. So one of his keepers will be injured.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties –
• Whenever Domanick Davis gets drafted, a tear will slowly drop from Nick’s right eye.
• His team name will not include any capital letters.
Uncertainties – Did Nick trade KJ at just the right time?
Good news: Nick continues to get a vote for being owner of the year.
Bad news: The vote will come from Jarrett when he accidentally hits “reply all” again.
Scott:
Probable keepers: Kevin Jones (pending injury report) or Santana Moss, and Laveranues Coles
Other candidates: Mark Clayton or Jason Campbell
Sad Note: KJ may be lost for the 2007 season. What else can go wrong for The Brick Ballers from Belgian who are
Sponsored by Resident 847???
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – He will have one of the better drafts.
Uncertainties – It won’t matter, because they will all get hurt or die.
Good news: He has two redskins as potential keepers.
Bad news: He has two redskins as potential keepers.
Playoff Odds:
Nomads: 2 to 1
Shermtanks: 4 to 1
Canton FC: 5 to 1
Five Second Stare: 10 to 1
And since this edition comes after the first round of the playoffs, I’ll provide an outlook for the four teams that got
eliminated.
Marc:
Probable keepers: Chester Taylor and Clinton Portis
Other candidates: Roy Williams and Chicago Bears Defense
Sad Note: It’s an odd year. The Baltimore Tools don’t perform too well in odd years.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – The 2007 draft book will be even better than the 2006 edition.
Uncertainties – Will it arrive on time?
Good news: No matter what, Marc will be the best commissioner ever.
Bad news: No matter what, Marc will draft Chad Pennington.
Chris:
Probable keepers: Michael Turner and Rudi Johnson
Other candidates: Tom Brady and Plaxico Burress
Sad Note: Chris will not be keeping any New England Patriots
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – Chris will kill someone if he has to, in order to ensure that he gets Tom Brady back in the draft.
Uncertainties – Who will he kill?
Good news: Michael Turner will become a stud RB for an NFL team (New York Jets?).
Bad news: After leading Team Brock to a 10-3 regular season record and #1 seed, Michael Turner will get injured and
Chris will lose in the first round of the 2007 playoffs.
Gregg:
Probable keepers: Chad Johnson and Peyton Manning
Other candidates: DeAngelo Williams and Hines Ward
Sad Note: Gregg will not read any of the glowing praise that I have bestowed upon him in past articles.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – Gregg’s weakness will be RB’s.
Uncertainties – Will he ever trade again?
Good news: Jamal Lewis will be available when Gregg’s turn in the draft comes up.
Bad news: Gregg will draft him.
Jarrett:
Probable keepers: Stephen Jackson and Stephan Jackson (Hey, only Steven Jackson can’t be kept. But the two other
players that Jarrett keeps referring to in his posts and emails have never been kept.)
(In all seriousness, I guess Matt Leinart and Torry Holt)
Other candidates: Carson Palmer and Anquan Boldin.
Sad Note: When I draft Steven Jackson with the first pick, Jarrett will ask, who’s he? Who had him last year?
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – Jarrett will draft a rookie RB (Adrian Peterson?) with his first round pick.
Uncertainties – Leinart or Palmer? Who will he keep?
Good news: Jarrett will show more passion and dedication to this league than 90% of the league.
Bad news: All people will remember is that he can’t spell and never pulls the trigger on a trade.
Oh, what the heck. I probably won’t write a final edition. So here’s the outlook for the final four teams:
Nomads:
Probable keepers: Larry Johnson and Frank Gore
Other candidates: Steve Smith, Drew Brees, Terrell Owens, and Maurice Jones-Drew
Canton FC:
Probable keepers: Reggie Bush and Laurence Maroney
Other candidates: Matt Hasselback
Jason:
Probable keepers: LaDanian Tomlinson and Willie Parker
Other candidates: Brandon Jacobs, Javon Walker, and Philip Rivers.
Sad Note: As Jason hands me the toilet bowl at next years draft, I will beat him over the head with it, accidentally
knocking him unconscious. Then VA Chris will have to take his place in the league. Wait, that’s not sad. That’s a
happy note. Welcome VA Chris!!!
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – As long as he has LDT, he will be a contender.
Uncertainties – Will Tanks Trends continue? If it does not, how will Jason pat himself on the back week in and week
out?
Good news: Fantasy baseball is just around the corner.
Bad news: Did I mention I’m going to hit him with the toilet bowl???
Jay:
Probable keepers: Does it matter? Do you know who he kept this year?
(My guess, Braylon Edwards and Cedric Benson – he’s getting the Bears starting job. Just watch).
Other candidates: Deuce McAllister, Donald Driver, Fred Taylor, Vernon Davis, and Marc Bulger.
Sad Note: He can’t keep Nate Burleson again.
2007 Outlook:
Certainties – Jay will continue to believe that he is better looking than you.
Uncertainties – Will he wear pink at next year’s draft?
Good news: He has a couple of decent keeper options.
Bad news: Since he makes the playoffs without having any quality keeper options, he will fail to make the playoffs
when he actually has keeper options.
That’s all folks. Good luck to the remaining teams.