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STATE OF THE LEAGUE
Since we are almost a quarter of the way through the regular season, I’ve decided to take a look at the state of the
league. I only bring this up because I have no idea what has happened to this league. Seriously, look around at what’s
going on.
1. Scott is doing his best Nick/Brock impersonation - Talking trash, complaining about a lack of respect, writing about
his team to the smallest detail on his blog. I think Scott has been hanging around Navid a bit too much.
2. Jay is doing his best Brian act - being self deprecating and down on his team (C’mon big guy, you’re 2-2 with a very
good chance of being 3-2. That’s at least an “Eh” ranking. Plus you still get to play me. I mean that’s like Christmas
come early according to the leader of the ROFFL Jewish contingency - Marc Epstein.).
3. Marc is MIA more than Dave - late on the website postings. Non-responsive to emails. He doesn’t even put any
thought into those little blurbs that he writes for each new article posted. I mean, “Brian gets random in week three?” Is
that the best you could do? By week ten, it’s just going to say “R - 10”.
4. Jason is single-handedly carrying the website. Who would have thought that the only dependable column to look for
each week is Jason’s stock report?
a. Quick question is it just me or do the up arrows in his stock report look like “A’s”?
b. Second quick question - Is it just me or do all of Jason’s weekly stock reports have the same things, just
worded differently. Pretty much, ten or eleven mentions of his team/players (usually in the stock up column), a
reference about his dying devotion to Nick Serrano, and a baseball reference. It’s just me? Ok, never mind.
5. Marc is talking more trash than Navid, Chris, and Jay combined. What is going on here? The guy can’t even trash
talk right. It’s like he bought the Russian version of the book “How to trash talk” and he’s up to chapter three, but the
translation is not going too well.
6. Marc remembers Dave’s birthday? No, Dave Allocco. I’m just as shocked as you are.
7. Jarrett is sending out emails trying to set up a ROFFL reunion. I must be getting use to Jarrett after over 2 years of
reading his emails and message board posts. They make perfect sense to me now, even though they still have major
grammatical errors. It’s like talking to guy with a really bad accent. If you’re around that person long enough, you get
used to the accent.
8. Parker actually sticks up for me and defends me. Who knows, there just might be a chance that we can remain
friends.
At times like these, I’m just glad Dave is his solid, consistent self.
I’m just kidding. The state of the league is good. (I wonder if people can tell I’m being sarcastic?)
WGLPT
I read this weeks WGLPT think and saw that Jay thinks I am the only one who reads it. We all know that is a bold face
lie. Scott lives and dies by where he is ranked. Jason uses his ranking as a true test of how good-looking he is on a
week-to-week basis. In other words, when he is ranked “good looking”, confidence is high, and he’ll go out to the bars
on the weekend and pick up a few girls. When he’s not ranked “good looking”, he stays in and watches a DVD.
Basically, the WGLPT rankings have overtaken the actual team records in terms of importance.
But the reason I am mentioning Jay’s column is because I would like to say that my friendship with Jay is starting to
make some serious strides. I mean back in 2003, he referred to me as Asian. Then in 2004, it was Bryan Young. After
that, Brian Young. Now, I’m up to B. Yeung. I tell you, for 3+ years, that’s pretty good. Now if I can only get Gregg to
acknowledge my existence.
THE COMMISH GETS SOFT
I thought that was a great personal article written by our commish. I know some people will be upset because he didn’t
do his usual recap of last week, but I really liked it.
Two things: I remember the deer incident and Jason rushing out to get him. And that was also the car Marc drove me
in to get my rental TV that I wrote about in my draft bio.
BRAINSTORMING
As usual, I like to throw off several ideas with other league members in hopes that the material could be used for future
columns (see my attempt to exchange emails with Rich during week two). My first idea, to steal it from Adam Corrola
and Bill Simmons, is I think Parker, Jay, and myself should discuss classic good, bad movies. I haven’t approached Jay
or Parker on this subject, but I figure our first movie could be either:
(Parker has actually bought me 2 of the above 4 on DVD as birthday gifts)
Another good idea would be if Parker and I had a conversation using only rap lyrics. This one has serious potential.
Or how about Navid “The Showstopper” Sadri, “Stone Cold” Chris Brockman, and Jay “The Bulldog” Cantor teach all of
us how to properly talk trash. (Yes, those are all wrestling references. I don’t know why.)
I’d also love to do a mailbag, but I don’t get any emails other than the standard.
ANYHOW ENOUGH OF THESE RANDOM, POINTLESS, AND USELESS THOUGHTS - ON TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF
I’m not going to get too excited about one win. It’s nice to win and all. You sleep much better on Sunday/Monday
nights. But we all know I had no business beating Jarrett. I credit the victory to good karma, which in “My Name is Earl”
fashion I made up for by apologizing to everyone in my last article.
Now Jarrett, I’m sorry you had to be the victim last week. Your team is infinitely better than mine, so you’ll just have to
blame the Yahoo! Schedulers. This week’s opponent. No, excuse me. This week’s VICTIM is the commissioner - Marc
Epstein.
Go ahead and laugh Marc. I know your team is better than mine. If we played 10 times, you would win 9 out of 10. You’
re in first on your way to the playoffs. Whereas, my team, well that’s another story. Again, I have no business winning
this week. But you know where you went wrong Marc. You called me out. You openly mocked me. Last week I used
Karma, this week I’ll say I win by fate. What does that mean? It’s simple actually. This past Tuesday (October 3rd), The
Little Mermaid came out on DVD for the first time with a special platinum edition. For those of you who haven’t seen it,
there is a character named “Flounder”. My team mascot is Flounder. Enough said…(Thank you Walt Disney).
(Sidenote: Since everyone likes to point out that I over think things, especially when I’m wrong, I think it’s only fair that I
get credit when I’m right. Like Parker says to women he meets at the clubs, “When I’m good, I’m good. When I’m bad. I’
m better.”)
FANTASY FOOTBALL THOUGHTS
(In order of rankings)
Marc Epstein - The cocky, new king of trash talk is definitely making a move to runaway from the field. He still has
match-ups against 4 of the bottom 5 teams. This could very well be Marc’s year. Imagine the trash talk that would erupt
from that happening. It makes me shudder just to think of it.
Good luck my friend.
Dave Allocco – Last year’s runner up finds himself in second once again. Andre Johnson has had a great bounce
back year (although he’s on a bye this week) and his struggling WR core welcomes back Joe Jurevicius. Now what to
do with Randy Moss? Donovan McNabb has been the best fantasy football player this year. The draft pick of the year
so far.
OC Beach Ballers – LaMont Jordan finally had a good game and Santana Moss had a huge day. So why do I not like
Scott’s chances? LaMont ran over a weak Cleveland defense (he’ll do the same to San Fran this week), but he has a
very touch schedule going forward and no passing game behind him. And Santana Moss always seems to have these
great games, then disappear. He’ll be frustrating and will kill you on some weeks, especially late in the season. Also,
Brian Westbrook is the ultimate injury concern. Especially at the end of the year when you need him most. I know this
all sounds very negative, but all I’m saying is he’ll make the playoffs. It’s just not a championship team.
Chris Brockman – I’m still not sure if Chris has a good team or not. He’s 3-1, but he beat Nick, and barely squeaked
past a weakened Nomads squad. However, give the man some credit. Like Chris likes to say, a win is a win and the
champions find a way to win. But we’ll have to wait and see how long this lucky streak lasts. It may have already ended.
Jarrett – Things are slowly falling apart for Jarrett. His prized draft day steal (Donte Stallworth) has a bad hamstring
injury. Anquan Boldin will now have Matt Leinart throwing to him and reports are Leinart prefers Fitzgerald, while
Warner favored Boldin. Corey Dillon may not be injured, but Maroney has done enough to become the better fantasy
play every week. Jarrett’s still got a potential championship team. He just has to hope Carson doesn’t throw up bad
days like he did against New England.
Josh Lukin – I have Hasselback on my other team, so I can relate to Josh’s frustrations with him. I’d go with
Maroney/Bush over McGahee this week too. Must be nice to have options like that. Brunell has been able to scrape
two good weeks together in a row, let’s see if he can make three against the pass poor defense of the New York
Giants.
Jason Sherman – Your luck can turn just like that. Two weeks ago, he was sitting pretty. Undefeated and atop the
standings. All you could hear was whispers of “worst to first”. Two weeks and two losses later, Jason’s stuck in the
middle of the pack. In his defense though, the past two weeks were his bye weeks. Going forward, he’ll have LDT and
Willie Parker every week. Who knows, he could end up with only two losses.
Navid Sadri – Don’t look now, but the champ is coming on strong. Never doubt a team with Larry Johnson and Steve
Smith. Terry Glenn looks to be the better play than T.O. However, Frank Gore has lost a lot of value in two weeks.
Navid’s plan to wait on drafting a QB until late has proved to be a smart one as Drew Brees has become a 300 yard
passing stud. To all those that thought “Three-peat” didn’t have a chance; well you were a little premature.
Jay Cantor – The worst looking team is sitting in the not so ugly ninth place spot. Sure, his two victories came against
Nick and Jason Sherman (with most of his star players on bye), but in this game, you take wins anyway you can get
them. Injuries are starting to catch up to Jay’s team though with Donald Driver possibly joining Vernon Davis on the
bench. Hey, at least Driver made it to week four. Unlike the past #1 wide receivers Jay drafted.
Parker Deay – Thanks for the support super-handsome. If I win this week, I will credit it all to you. As a matter of fact,
for sticking up for me against the bully Marc Epstein, I will make you this week’s owner of the week.
Parker’s famed WR core hasn’t quite lived up to hype. Marvin has been good, but Fitzgerald hasn’t been great so far
this year. But with Leinart in, look for better production going forward. Like I said, Leinart likes to throw to him more
than Boldin. Joe Horn has disappointed, but Parker has picked up two of the best free agent WR’s (Bernard Berrian
and Reggie Williams). Parker also has a nice rotation of guys to mix in and out with at RB. However, it might be time to
consider playing Kitna and looking for other options at TE. But after two consecutive victories, Parker looks on his way
to climbing back up the standings and is headed towards a playoff trip for the first time in three year.
Rich Kiss – It’s official. Marques Colston is the best free agent pickup of the year. What’s more impressive is that Rich
picked him up the day Stallworth was traded and everyone thought Devery Henderson would become the #2 guy on
the Saints. But that’s about the only good news to come out of Rich’s camp. When the two best players on your team
are arguably the two TE eligible guys, then you have a problem. It may only be funny to me, but Rich has guys on his
team named Carnell “Cadillac”, Jericho, Marques, Rock, TJ, Eli, Keenan, and Heath.
PS – We need another press conference from Rich Kiss.
Gregg Moore – Alright, Gregg. Stop messing around. I said you were going to make the finals this year and you’re
barely ranked ahead of me. Pick your game up and make me look like a genius, will you? I’m really surprised there has
been so little trade talk to come out of Maryland.
Nick Serrano – Some sad news from London. Nick cannot find a job and had to resort to his old ways. So without
further ado, I present Nick Serrano: European Gigolo.
I’m also a bit surprised by the inactivity from Nick on the waiver wire. Last time he was on foreign soil, he was picking
up players left and right. I don’t think he’s made a move since he left for London. I know Nick is at 0-4 and another loss
this week to Nomads will pretty much end his season, but you gotta give Nick some credit for actually having a decent
group of RB’s after starting the season with Domanick Davis and four New York Jets.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL…ESPECIALLY TO ME FOR ANOTHER WEEK!!!
Since we are almost a quarter of the way through the regular season, I’ve decided to take a look at the state of the
league. I only bring this up because I have no idea what has happened to this league. Seriously, look around at what’s
going on.
1. Scott is doing his best Nick/Brock impersonation - Talking trash, complaining about a lack of respect, writing about
his team to the smallest detail on his blog. I think Scott has been hanging around Navid a bit too much.
2. Jay is doing his best Brian act - being self deprecating and down on his team (C’mon big guy, you’re 2-2 with a very
good chance of being 3-2. That’s at least an “Eh” ranking. Plus you still get to play me. I mean that’s like Christmas
come early according to the leader of the ROFFL Jewish contingency - Marc Epstein.).
3. Marc is MIA more than Dave - late on the website postings. Non-responsive to emails. He doesn’t even put any
thought into those little blurbs that he writes for each new article posted. I mean, “Brian gets random in week three?” Is
that the best you could do? By week ten, it’s just going to say “R - 10”.
4. Jason is single-handedly carrying the website. Who would have thought that the only dependable column to look for
each week is Jason’s stock report?
a. Quick question is it just me or do the up arrows in his stock report look like “A’s”?
b. Second quick question - Is it just me or do all of Jason’s weekly stock reports have the same things, just
worded differently. Pretty much, ten or eleven mentions of his team/players (usually in the stock up column), a
reference about his dying devotion to Nick Serrano, and a baseball reference. It’s just me? Ok, never mind.
5. Marc is talking more trash than Navid, Chris, and Jay combined. What is going on here? The guy can’t even trash
talk right. It’s like he bought the Russian version of the book “How to trash talk” and he’s up to chapter three, but the
translation is not going too well.
6. Marc remembers Dave’s birthday? No, Dave Allocco. I’m just as shocked as you are.
7. Jarrett is sending out emails trying to set up a ROFFL reunion. I must be getting use to Jarrett after over 2 years of
reading his emails and message board posts. They make perfect sense to me now, even though they still have major
grammatical errors. It’s like talking to guy with a really bad accent. If you’re around that person long enough, you get
used to the accent.
8. Parker actually sticks up for me and defends me. Who knows, there just might be a chance that we can remain
friends.
At times like these, I’m just glad Dave is his solid, consistent self.
I’m just kidding. The state of the league is good. (I wonder if people can tell I’m being sarcastic?)
WGLPT
I read this weeks WGLPT think and saw that Jay thinks I am the only one who reads it. We all know that is a bold face
lie. Scott lives and dies by where he is ranked. Jason uses his ranking as a true test of how good-looking he is on a
week-to-week basis. In other words, when he is ranked “good looking”, confidence is high, and he’ll go out to the bars
on the weekend and pick up a few girls. When he’s not ranked “good looking”, he stays in and watches a DVD.
Basically, the WGLPT rankings have overtaken the actual team records in terms of importance.
But the reason I am mentioning Jay’s column is because I would like to say that my friendship with Jay is starting to
make some serious strides. I mean back in 2003, he referred to me as Asian. Then in 2004, it was Bryan Young. After
that, Brian Young. Now, I’m up to B. Yeung. I tell you, for 3+ years, that’s pretty good. Now if I can only get Gregg to
acknowledge my existence.
THE COMMISH GETS SOFT
I thought that was a great personal article written by our commish. I know some people will be upset because he didn’t
do his usual recap of last week, but I really liked it.
Two things: I remember the deer incident and Jason rushing out to get him. And that was also the car Marc drove me
in to get my rental TV that I wrote about in my draft bio.
BRAINSTORMING
As usual, I like to throw off several ideas with other league members in hopes that the material could be used for future
columns (see my attempt to exchange emails with Rich during week two). My first idea, to steal it from Adam Corrola
and Bill Simmons, is I think Parker, Jay, and myself should discuss classic good, bad movies. I haven’t approached Jay
or Parker on this subject, but I figure our first movie could be either:
- Weird Science
- I’m Gonna Get You Sucka
- No Holds Barred
- Three O’Clock High (this would feature special commentary from Dave Allocco)
(Parker has actually bought me 2 of the above 4 on DVD as birthday gifts)
Another good idea would be if Parker and I had a conversation using only rap lyrics. This one has serious potential.
Or how about Navid “The Showstopper” Sadri, “Stone Cold” Chris Brockman, and Jay “The Bulldog” Cantor teach all of
us how to properly talk trash. (Yes, those are all wrestling references. I don’t know why.)
I’d also love to do a mailbag, but I don’t get any emails other than the standard.
- Marc – “That’s awesome.”
- Jason (autoreply) – “I am out of the office.”
- Parker – “Stop making stuff up about me.”
- Nick – “I hate you.”
ANYHOW ENOUGH OF THESE RANDOM, POINTLESS, AND USELESS THOUGHTS - ON TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF
I’m not going to get too excited about one win. It’s nice to win and all. You sleep much better on Sunday/Monday
nights. But we all know I had no business beating Jarrett. I credit the victory to good karma, which in “My Name is Earl”
fashion I made up for by apologizing to everyone in my last article.
Now Jarrett, I’m sorry you had to be the victim last week. Your team is infinitely better than mine, so you’ll just have to
blame the Yahoo! Schedulers. This week’s opponent. No, excuse me. This week’s VICTIM is the commissioner - Marc
Epstein.
Go ahead and laugh Marc. I know your team is better than mine. If we played 10 times, you would win 9 out of 10. You’
re in first on your way to the playoffs. Whereas, my team, well that’s another story. Again, I have no business winning
this week. But you know where you went wrong Marc. You called me out. You openly mocked me. Last week I used
Karma, this week I’ll say I win by fate. What does that mean? It’s simple actually. This past Tuesday (October 3rd), The
Little Mermaid came out on DVD for the first time with a special platinum edition. For those of you who haven’t seen it,
there is a character named “Flounder”. My team mascot is Flounder. Enough said…(Thank you Walt Disney).
(Sidenote: Since everyone likes to point out that I over think things, especially when I’m wrong, I think it’s only fair that I
get credit when I’m right. Like Parker says to women he meets at the clubs, “When I’m good, I’m good. When I’m bad. I’
m better.”)
FANTASY FOOTBALL THOUGHTS
(In order of rankings)
Marc Epstein - The cocky, new king of trash talk is definitely making a move to runaway from the field. He still has
match-ups against 4 of the bottom 5 teams. This could very well be Marc’s year. Imagine the trash talk that would erupt
from that happening. It makes me shudder just to think of it.
Good luck my friend.
Dave Allocco – Last year’s runner up finds himself in second once again. Andre Johnson has had a great bounce
back year (although he’s on a bye this week) and his struggling WR core welcomes back Joe Jurevicius. Now what to
do with Randy Moss? Donovan McNabb has been the best fantasy football player this year. The draft pick of the year
so far.
OC Beach Ballers – LaMont Jordan finally had a good game and Santana Moss had a huge day. So why do I not like
Scott’s chances? LaMont ran over a weak Cleveland defense (he’ll do the same to San Fran this week), but he has a
very touch schedule going forward and no passing game behind him. And Santana Moss always seems to have these
great games, then disappear. He’ll be frustrating and will kill you on some weeks, especially late in the season. Also,
Brian Westbrook is the ultimate injury concern. Especially at the end of the year when you need him most. I know this
all sounds very negative, but all I’m saying is he’ll make the playoffs. It’s just not a championship team.
Chris Brockman – I’m still not sure if Chris has a good team or not. He’s 3-1, but he beat Nick, and barely squeaked
past a weakened Nomads squad. However, give the man some credit. Like Chris likes to say, a win is a win and the
champions find a way to win. But we’ll have to wait and see how long this lucky streak lasts. It may have already ended.
Jarrett – Things are slowly falling apart for Jarrett. His prized draft day steal (Donte Stallworth) has a bad hamstring
injury. Anquan Boldin will now have Matt Leinart throwing to him and reports are Leinart prefers Fitzgerald, while
Warner favored Boldin. Corey Dillon may not be injured, but Maroney has done enough to become the better fantasy
play every week. Jarrett’s still got a potential championship team. He just has to hope Carson doesn’t throw up bad
days like he did against New England.
Josh Lukin – I have Hasselback on my other team, so I can relate to Josh’s frustrations with him. I’d go with
Maroney/Bush over McGahee this week too. Must be nice to have options like that. Brunell has been able to scrape
two good weeks together in a row, let’s see if he can make three against the pass poor defense of the New York
Giants.
Jason Sherman – Your luck can turn just like that. Two weeks ago, he was sitting pretty. Undefeated and atop the
standings. All you could hear was whispers of “worst to first”. Two weeks and two losses later, Jason’s stuck in the
middle of the pack. In his defense though, the past two weeks were his bye weeks. Going forward, he’ll have LDT and
Willie Parker every week. Who knows, he could end up with only two losses.
Navid Sadri – Don’t look now, but the champ is coming on strong. Never doubt a team with Larry Johnson and Steve
Smith. Terry Glenn looks to be the better play than T.O. However, Frank Gore has lost a lot of value in two weeks.
Navid’s plan to wait on drafting a QB until late has proved to be a smart one as Drew Brees has become a 300 yard
passing stud. To all those that thought “Three-peat” didn’t have a chance; well you were a little premature.
Jay Cantor – The worst looking team is sitting in the not so ugly ninth place spot. Sure, his two victories came against
Nick and Jason Sherman (with most of his star players on bye), but in this game, you take wins anyway you can get
them. Injuries are starting to catch up to Jay’s team though with Donald Driver possibly joining Vernon Davis on the
bench. Hey, at least Driver made it to week four. Unlike the past #1 wide receivers Jay drafted.
Parker Deay – Thanks for the support super-handsome. If I win this week, I will credit it all to you. As a matter of fact,
for sticking up for me against the bully Marc Epstein, I will make you this week’s owner of the week.
Parker’s famed WR core hasn’t quite lived up to hype. Marvin has been good, but Fitzgerald hasn’t been great so far
this year. But with Leinart in, look for better production going forward. Like I said, Leinart likes to throw to him more
than Boldin. Joe Horn has disappointed, but Parker has picked up two of the best free agent WR’s (Bernard Berrian
and Reggie Williams). Parker also has a nice rotation of guys to mix in and out with at RB. However, it might be time to
consider playing Kitna and looking for other options at TE. But after two consecutive victories, Parker looks on his way
to climbing back up the standings and is headed towards a playoff trip for the first time in three year.
Rich Kiss – It’s official. Marques Colston is the best free agent pickup of the year. What’s more impressive is that Rich
picked him up the day Stallworth was traded and everyone thought Devery Henderson would become the #2 guy on
the Saints. But that’s about the only good news to come out of Rich’s camp. When the two best players on your team
are arguably the two TE eligible guys, then you have a problem. It may only be funny to me, but Rich has guys on his
team named Carnell “Cadillac”, Jericho, Marques, Rock, TJ, Eli, Keenan, and Heath.
PS – We need another press conference from Rich Kiss.
Gregg Moore – Alright, Gregg. Stop messing around. I said you were going to make the finals this year and you’re
barely ranked ahead of me. Pick your game up and make me look like a genius, will you? I’m really surprised there has
been so little trade talk to come out of Maryland.
Nick Serrano – Some sad news from London. Nick cannot find a job and had to resort to his old ways. So without
further ado, I present Nick Serrano: European Gigolo.
I’m also a bit surprised by the inactivity from Nick on the waiver wire. Last time he was on foreign soil, he was picking
up players left and right. I don’t think he’s made a move since he left for London. I know Nick is at 0-4 and another loss
this week to Nomads will pretty much end his season, but you gotta give Nick some credit for actually having a decent
group of RB’s after starting the season with Domanick Davis and four New York Jets.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL…ESPECIALLY TO ME FOR ANOTHER WEEK!!!