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No, this isn’t the final edition for the year. The season hasn’t ended yet. I’ll probably do my final regular season edition
next week. Along with one when the playoffs are completed.
It’s been a busy week, which is why this is coming late. So I apologize for the lack of timely columns recently. For those
that know what I’m trying to do, I hope you understand.
A few non-football related thoughts:
1. Scrubs, one of my favorite TV shows returned this week. Great show. For those who don’t watch this show, you
should. Personally, I’m a big fan of Zach Braff. I loved “Garden State”, but was very disappointed with “Last Kiss”. In my
favorite TV comedies of all time list, Scrubs ranks right after Friends, and right before Entourage and King of Queens.
2. Jay is right once again. “Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang” is a very good movie many people probably haven’t heard of,
let alone seen. It was written and directed by Shane Black who wrote “Lethal Weapon”. I actually saw it in the theaters
and mentioned it in one of my articles last year. Look it up in the archives.
3. For those wondering how Jay affords to go to watch all these movies that he reviews. I have one word for you:
SURPLUS. Just letting you all know, so when Marc says at next years draft that only one pizza pie is covered by the
league surplus as opposed to all five, you’ll know why.
4. ROFFL basketball is under way and it’s been relatively quiet. Half the teams have already stopped paying
attention. Christopher Brockman in off to a fast start and currently in the lead. Right behind is the returning champ, Jay
Cantor, and the rookie, Sean McBride (Parker’s roommate). However, it is a bit deceiving since Jay’s team has played
twelve more games than Chris, and Sean’s team has played sixteen more. In fourth is yours truly, followed by the
ROFFL alums: Jason, Parker, and Jarrett. And those are all the teams that pay attention.
5. Hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving.
No random thought for each team this week. I really don’t have anything relevant to say about every team.
After eleven weeks, it would all be repeat anyway. So I’ll just hit a few random points as the season draws
to a close.
1) I hope Rich and Parker win this week and I lose (after Thursday’s games, it looks headed that way anyway). I
know that sounds stupid, but I clearly had the worst team in the league this year and deserve the Toilet Bowl. My team
was an embarrassment. I brought shame to the league with my performance. I tried, but I made bad decision after bad
decision. I’m amazed that I won four games.
2) Too little, too late, but I think Rich’s team would be one of the top eight right now. If Colston is healthy, he gets
SHAUN back, and TJ had a big game Thursday. Injuries may have hurt his team more than anybody else this year.
3) Nick once again has made a late season push to respectability. He is getting credit for putting a really good
team together after drafting poorly (See his 143 point performance last week). Much like the way Nick makes love to a
woman, he likes to start off slowly. Lots of foreplay. Doesn’t want to shoot his load too quickly (see Chris Brockman).
Slowly builds up to the huge final climax only to realize there are mixed reviews based on inconsistency. (Yes, I know
Nick hates when I write this stuff. But I find it funny.)
4) Gregg’s best draft pick was Marion Barber. Can you believe the guy has 11 TD’s? He’s been amazing. I know
Peyton, Chad, and Hines are the big names, but Barber has been the key.
5) I see Dave’s team being a championship contender next year. I see a toilet bowl, runner-up, toilet bowl, runner-
up pattern beginning to form.
6) Congratulations to Nick on winning the ROFFL suicide pool. Very good idea by Canton FC to start this up this
year. Now will everyone please pay the $10 fee?
7) Next year, we will have a new feature column. Brock’s Adult Film Reviews.
8) Nomads vs. Shermtanks turned out to be a huge disappointment. For a real life comparison, it was just like USC
vs. Notre Dame. Much hyped. A lot riding on the line. But it was a big blowout. All teams will be headed for the
playoffs/bowl games, but USC will be playing for the championship (barring a UCLA upset), while Nomads secured its
“most feared team” reputation. On the other hand, Notre Dame showed it can’t beat the good teams, and Jason looks
headed for a 4th or 5th seed (subject to change depending on outcome of week 13 games), which means Jason will
have to go through Nomads in round two, just to get to the championship game.
9) Two notes: It’s funny that people want to stop talking about Nomads in their columns, b/c 1) His team is that
good and nobody can stand it. 2) He is that annoying. 3) He is really, really, annoying. But all this talk about winning
13 in a row is difficult is nothing more than Jay’s way to give everyone hope. It’s the silver lining. Nobody thought
repeating was possible. But it happened. Either way, I don’t buy it. Especially when you have four of the top fifteen
fantasy players. Can he lose? Yes. I could see Shermtanks, Nose, and Fighting Blue Crab taking Nomads out. But is it
more likely that he wins? Yes.
10) Michael Turner will be next year’s RB that gets traded to another team in the offseason, becomes a starter,
and automatically jumps into the top 10 fantasy RB’s. See LaMont Jordan in 2005, Chester Taylor in 2006. Smart
move by Chris in picking him up and keeping him. I actually tried to trade for him for this very reason.
11) Along those lines, as everyone can already see the rush to grab any potential keeper option left on the
waivers has already begun – mostly be me (Including picking up Domanick Davis. In my defense, I thought since he
was dropped before the season started, the keeper rule did not apply to him. I was wrong. Thanks to Marc for that
clarification). But the big question, which was already posed to me, is will someone grab Daunte Culpepper. Hey, the
risk is low if you have lost already. But I don’t think he will ever be the same and I hope nobody keeps him next year. It
will be a huge mistake.
12) I have made 54 transactions, which is about 55 too many. No wonder my team sucks and has the lowest point
total. I had on my bench the following players at one point in time: Kevin Jones, Travis Henry, Wali Lundy, Maurice
Jones-Drew, Tony Romo, Desmond Clark, Miami Defense, and Santonio Holmes. That lineup is better than the team I
currently have. That just goes to show you. I know a lot about football and who has potential. I’m just too impatient,
have bad luck, and in the end, make bad decisions. In other words, I’m an idiot and don’t deserve to be called a
fantasy genius, fantasy assassin, ROFFL league member, or “person to fear” and “person to get draft advice from”.
13) One of those players picked up by me was Jay Cutler. I really didn’t think he would start this soon. I picked him
up for next year. But whatever the reason, the Jay Cutler era has begun. I haven’t seen this much hype for a player
since I was scheduled to make my return to Sunday football in Central Park. Seriously, I had my foot wrapped, my Nike’
s laced up, but it never happened. (Quick question? Do people still play on Sunday’s anymore? I haven’t heard much
about it other than that one time.) Anyhow, people are expecting great things out of Jay Cutler and since I have him,
there is only one way this will go down. He will suck. He will suck worst than Plummer, Culpepper, Bledsoe, and Warner
combined. I will subsequently drop him and Nomads will pick him up (He has a tendency to pick up my stupid drops.
See Maurice Jones-Drew, Desmond Clark, and Miami Defense). Cutler will then go on to set records and become the
greatest fantasy QB ever.
14) No, seriously. I plan on keeping him. Why bother with the mystery all summer? I’m telling you all right now.
Why you ask? It’ll probably be another one in my long line of stupid mistakes. But when you suffer through a terrible
year such as I did this year, you look at your mistakes. And I noticed that I have a tendency to be one year too early
with certain players. I had Willis McGahee, Larry Johnson, Carson Palmer, Larry Fitzgerald, and Andre Johnson at
some point in time over the past three years. All one year before they exploded onto the fantasy scene and I never
kept one of them. Why, because public opinion was that they weren’t keeper worthy yet. I am going to try and not
make that mistake again.
15) Now, I am going to say something very controversial and that will be contrary to the majority of league opinion.
Tony Romo should not be kept next year and he will have an average year. Why? Not because he has too much hype.
Not because he isn’t good or worthy. I think he is a future star and the man for the Cowboys for the next five years. I
could see him as a top ten QB and Brady-esque as a matter of fact. So given all that glowing praise, why suggest to
not keep him? Two words: Terrell Owens. The guy will ruin the team next year if he returns. If T.O. is still on the team
and Parcells is gone, forget about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Romo went all Donovan and got hurt next year too.
Sorry to say it Nick. But remember, I don’t know anything. So take this with a grain of salt. This is just my opinion.
16) In related news, Jessica Simpson has recently been linked to Nick Serrano. The two were pictured going into a
famous bar in London and they were seen making out in the VIP section. When reached for comment, Jessica
Simpson said, “What can I say, I love guys named Nick.” In response, Nick held a press conference to clear up the
matter. “That was Jessica? I thought she was Ashlee?”, said Nick. When told that the two don’t look alike, he
responded with a laugh, “You think I look them in the eye. B. please.” When told of Nick’s comments, Ashlee and
Jessica said, “It’s ok that Nick sees us both. It is Nick after all. As a matter of fact, we wouldn’t mind doing a threesome
with Nick, but we first need to check if that qualifies as incest or not.” Wait. Hold on one minute. I’m sorry. That was not
Nick Serrano. That was Tony Romo. My apologies. Although would you be surprised if it was Nick? (Yes, I love doing
this to Nick, because I know it upsets him.)
17) Finally, a major ROFFL injury to report. Jason Sherman has hyper extended his right arm (Can you even
hyper extend an arm?). Apparently, he was patting himself on the back too much. Therefore, Tanks Trends will be out
of commission for roughly nine months. But don’t worry; the injury should heal just in time for the 2007 season.
So, was that random enough for you?
Good luck this last week.
next week. Along with one when the playoffs are completed.
It’s been a busy week, which is why this is coming late. So I apologize for the lack of timely columns recently. For those
that know what I’m trying to do, I hope you understand.
A few non-football related thoughts:
1. Scrubs, one of my favorite TV shows returned this week. Great show. For those who don’t watch this show, you
should. Personally, I’m a big fan of Zach Braff. I loved “Garden State”, but was very disappointed with “Last Kiss”. In my
favorite TV comedies of all time list, Scrubs ranks right after Friends, and right before Entourage and King of Queens.
2. Jay is right once again. “Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang” is a very good movie many people probably haven’t heard of,
let alone seen. It was written and directed by Shane Black who wrote “Lethal Weapon”. I actually saw it in the theaters
and mentioned it in one of my articles last year. Look it up in the archives.
3. For those wondering how Jay affords to go to watch all these movies that he reviews. I have one word for you:
SURPLUS. Just letting you all know, so when Marc says at next years draft that only one pizza pie is covered by the
league surplus as opposed to all five, you’ll know why.
4. ROFFL basketball is under way and it’s been relatively quiet. Half the teams have already stopped paying
attention. Christopher Brockman in off to a fast start and currently in the lead. Right behind is the returning champ, Jay
Cantor, and the rookie, Sean McBride (Parker’s roommate). However, it is a bit deceiving since Jay’s team has played
twelve more games than Chris, and Sean’s team has played sixteen more. In fourth is yours truly, followed by the
ROFFL alums: Jason, Parker, and Jarrett. And those are all the teams that pay attention.
5. Hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving.
No random thought for each team this week. I really don’t have anything relevant to say about every team.
After eleven weeks, it would all be repeat anyway. So I’ll just hit a few random points as the season draws
to a close.
1) I hope Rich and Parker win this week and I lose (after Thursday’s games, it looks headed that way anyway). I
know that sounds stupid, but I clearly had the worst team in the league this year and deserve the Toilet Bowl. My team
was an embarrassment. I brought shame to the league with my performance. I tried, but I made bad decision after bad
decision. I’m amazed that I won four games.
2) Too little, too late, but I think Rich’s team would be one of the top eight right now. If Colston is healthy, he gets
SHAUN back, and TJ had a big game Thursday. Injuries may have hurt his team more than anybody else this year.
3) Nick once again has made a late season push to respectability. He is getting credit for putting a really good
team together after drafting poorly (See his 143 point performance last week). Much like the way Nick makes love to a
woman, he likes to start off slowly. Lots of foreplay. Doesn’t want to shoot his load too quickly (see Chris Brockman).
Slowly builds up to the huge final climax only to realize there are mixed reviews based on inconsistency. (Yes, I know
Nick hates when I write this stuff. But I find it funny.)
4) Gregg’s best draft pick was Marion Barber. Can you believe the guy has 11 TD’s? He’s been amazing. I know
Peyton, Chad, and Hines are the big names, but Barber has been the key.
5) I see Dave’s team being a championship contender next year. I see a toilet bowl, runner-up, toilet bowl, runner-
up pattern beginning to form.
6) Congratulations to Nick on winning the ROFFL suicide pool. Very good idea by Canton FC to start this up this
year. Now will everyone please pay the $10 fee?
7) Next year, we will have a new feature column. Brock’s Adult Film Reviews.
8) Nomads vs. Shermtanks turned out to be a huge disappointment. For a real life comparison, it was just like USC
vs. Notre Dame. Much hyped. A lot riding on the line. But it was a big blowout. All teams will be headed for the
playoffs/bowl games, but USC will be playing for the championship (barring a UCLA upset), while Nomads secured its
“most feared team” reputation. On the other hand, Notre Dame showed it can’t beat the good teams, and Jason looks
headed for a 4th or 5th seed (subject to change depending on outcome of week 13 games), which means Jason will
have to go through Nomads in round two, just to get to the championship game.
9) Two notes: It’s funny that people want to stop talking about Nomads in their columns, b/c 1) His team is that
good and nobody can stand it. 2) He is that annoying. 3) He is really, really, annoying. But all this talk about winning
13 in a row is difficult is nothing more than Jay’s way to give everyone hope. It’s the silver lining. Nobody thought
repeating was possible. But it happened. Either way, I don’t buy it. Especially when you have four of the top fifteen
fantasy players. Can he lose? Yes. I could see Shermtanks, Nose, and Fighting Blue Crab taking Nomads out. But is it
more likely that he wins? Yes.
10) Michael Turner will be next year’s RB that gets traded to another team in the offseason, becomes a starter,
and automatically jumps into the top 10 fantasy RB’s. See LaMont Jordan in 2005, Chester Taylor in 2006. Smart
move by Chris in picking him up and keeping him. I actually tried to trade for him for this very reason.
11) Along those lines, as everyone can already see the rush to grab any potential keeper option left on the
waivers has already begun – mostly be me (Including picking up Domanick Davis. In my defense, I thought since he
was dropped before the season started, the keeper rule did not apply to him. I was wrong. Thanks to Marc for that
clarification). But the big question, which was already posed to me, is will someone grab Daunte Culpepper. Hey, the
risk is low if you have lost already. But I don’t think he will ever be the same and I hope nobody keeps him next year. It
will be a huge mistake.
12) I have made 54 transactions, which is about 55 too many. No wonder my team sucks and has the lowest point
total. I had on my bench the following players at one point in time: Kevin Jones, Travis Henry, Wali Lundy, Maurice
Jones-Drew, Tony Romo, Desmond Clark, Miami Defense, and Santonio Holmes. That lineup is better than the team I
currently have. That just goes to show you. I know a lot about football and who has potential. I’m just too impatient,
have bad luck, and in the end, make bad decisions. In other words, I’m an idiot and don’t deserve to be called a
fantasy genius, fantasy assassin, ROFFL league member, or “person to fear” and “person to get draft advice from”.
13) One of those players picked up by me was Jay Cutler. I really didn’t think he would start this soon. I picked him
up for next year. But whatever the reason, the Jay Cutler era has begun. I haven’t seen this much hype for a player
since I was scheduled to make my return to Sunday football in Central Park. Seriously, I had my foot wrapped, my Nike’
s laced up, but it never happened. (Quick question? Do people still play on Sunday’s anymore? I haven’t heard much
about it other than that one time.) Anyhow, people are expecting great things out of Jay Cutler and since I have him,
there is only one way this will go down. He will suck. He will suck worst than Plummer, Culpepper, Bledsoe, and Warner
combined. I will subsequently drop him and Nomads will pick him up (He has a tendency to pick up my stupid drops.
See Maurice Jones-Drew, Desmond Clark, and Miami Defense). Cutler will then go on to set records and become the
greatest fantasy QB ever.
14) No, seriously. I plan on keeping him. Why bother with the mystery all summer? I’m telling you all right now.
Why you ask? It’ll probably be another one in my long line of stupid mistakes. But when you suffer through a terrible
year such as I did this year, you look at your mistakes. And I noticed that I have a tendency to be one year too early
with certain players. I had Willis McGahee, Larry Johnson, Carson Palmer, Larry Fitzgerald, and Andre Johnson at
some point in time over the past three years. All one year before they exploded onto the fantasy scene and I never
kept one of them. Why, because public opinion was that they weren’t keeper worthy yet. I am going to try and not
make that mistake again.
15) Now, I am going to say something very controversial and that will be contrary to the majority of league opinion.
Tony Romo should not be kept next year and he will have an average year. Why? Not because he has too much hype.
Not because he isn’t good or worthy. I think he is a future star and the man for the Cowboys for the next five years. I
could see him as a top ten QB and Brady-esque as a matter of fact. So given all that glowing praise, why suggest to
not keep him? Two words: Terrell Owens. The guy will ruin the team next year if he returns. If T.O. is still on the team
and Parcells is gone, forget about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Romo went all Donovan and got hurt next year too.
Sorry to say it Nick. But remember, I don’t know anything. So take this with a grain of salt. This is just my opinion.
16) In related news, Jessica Simpson has recently been linked to Nick Serrano. The two were pictured going into a
famous bar in London and they were seen making out in the VIP section. When reached for comment, Jessica
Simpson said, “What can I say, I love guys named Nick.” In response, Nick held a press conference to clear up the
matter. “That was Jessica? I thought she was Ashlee?”, said Nick. When told that the two don’t look alike, he
responded with a laugh, “You think I look them in the eye. B. please.” When told of Nick’s comments, Ashlee and
Jessica said, “It’s ok that Nick sees us both. It is Nick after all. As a matter of fact, we wouldn’t mind doing a threesome
with Nick, but we first need to check if that qualifies as incest or not.” Wait. Hold on one minute. I’m sorry. That was not
Nick Serrano. That was Tony Romo. My apologies. Although would you be surprised if it was Nick? (Yes, I love doing
this to Nick, because I know it upsets him.)
17) Finally, a major ROFFL injury to report. Jason Sherman has hyper extended his right arm (Can you even
hyper extend an arm?). Apparently, he was patting himself on the back too much. Therefore, Tanks Trends will be out
of commission for roughly nine months. But don’t worry; the injury should heal just in time for the 2007 season.
So, was that random enough for you?
Good luck this last week.