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Congrats to all the playoff teams. I wish you all the best of luck. A special congrats to Parker for coming through in the clutch. Welcome back to the
playoffs big guy. Although, I feel bad for Jarrett. He clearly had a playoff team. It just fell short at the end. I also feel bad for the non-playoff teams. Not
because you didn’t make the playoffs (you all sucked and you know it – myself included), but since Parker is not headed for the lottery, there will be no
schlong bowl this year…I’ll give you a moment to recover from that heartbreaking news.
…
My sincere apology goes out to Dave. Nobody wants to be the first two-time Toilet Bowl winner. I spoke to Dave recently and I can tell you he is truly
upset. He had a tough year and it’s hard to come back from losing your best three players to injury (Andre Johnson, Travis Henry, and Donovan
McNabb). I can also attest to that. So can most of the teams headed for the lottery. But when Dave’s team was in tact (specifically when Johnson was in
the lineup), then Dave was fully capable of putting up 110+ on any given week.
I’ll leave predictions to Marc and rankings to Jay. But I think the matchup to watch is the one between Rich and Parker. I think the eventual champion will
be the winner of this grudge match. I can’t pick sides though, since Parker is my favorite league member on the west side and Rich is my favorite
league member in the dirty south. Who is my favorite league member of all, you ask? Easy…ME!!!
However, I am rooting for Chris Brockman to win it all. Why, vote for him? Because he is the villain of the league. And you just know he would do
something to piss everyone off when he wins and when he gets the trophy (yes, twice). And I for one want to boo and throw tomatos at him during the
trophy presentation.
A few things to keep in mind for next year:
Season in review:
What went better than expected:
Surprises out of nowhere:
What went as expected:
What went worse than expected:
Brock’s Bandits:
What went right? Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Santonio Holmes, Kellen Winslow, Pitts Def.
What went wrong? Rudi Johnson
Next year’s outlook? Goodbye Brady. But Moss can be kept for another year.
Born To Run My Mouth:
What went right? Tony Romo, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Roddy White, Willis McGahee
What went wrong? Chicago Def., Shaun Alexander. Wait, I’m sorry. I meant ‘Fucking Shaun Alexander’.
Next year’s outlook? Goodbye and good riddance to Shaun Alexander. That’s a good start.
BushMaroney07:
What went right? Greg Jennings, Derrick Mason, Heath Miller
What went wrong? Oddly enough, the two names in the title (Bush and Maroney)
Next year’s outlook? BushMaroney’08? Highly unlikely. Maybe BushPalmer’08.
Five Second Stare:
What went right? Adrian Peterson, Matt Hasselbeck, Brett Favre, Plaxico Burress (at least for the first half of the season)
What went wrong? Cedric Benson.
Next year’s outlook? Can’t be that bad. He gets to keep Adrian Peterson.
Nomads In The Deep:
What went right? Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, Ben Roethlisberger
What went wrong? Marc Bulger, Javon Walker, Larry Johnson, Frank Gore.
Next year’s outlook? Lot of options, but there is one certainty. It won’t be Gus Frerotte. (PS – Not to bring up the issue. But I can see where Navid is
coming from in his complaint and I think he has a point. Not that Nick is wrong either. And I really think it was much ado about nothing.)
Shermtanks:
What went right? Brandon Marshall
What went wrong? Willie Parker, Vernon Davis,
Next year’s outlook? Jason’s big guys played well, but nobody had that spectacular year. But he gets to keep LDT for one more year. LaDainian’s got
at least two more good years left in him.
Hungry Horses:
What went right? Joseph Addai, Brian Westbrook, Bobby Engram.
What went wrong? DeAngelo Williams, James Jones, Jay Cutler, Chris Brown, Marvin Harrison.
Next year’s outlook? Parker’s got his RB’s set. And if he really wants to stick it to Gregg Moore, he’ll keep Correll Buckhalter.
Fighting Blue Crabs:
What went right? Terrell Owens, Jamal Lewis
What went wrong? Julius Jones
Next year’s outlook? One more year with Peyton, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Peyton wants his TD record back after Brady beats it this year.
For the six lottery teams, I’ll rephrase it differently.
Nose:
What went wrong? Steve Smith, Eli Manning
What went colossally wrong? Jerious Norwood
Next year’s outlook? The nose has some options. And he plans on using them to return to his 8th place glory.
The Next Google:
What went wrong? Laveraneous Coles
What went colossally wrong? Santana Moss, Jake Delhomme, Brandon Jackson,
Next year’s outlook? At least he has better keeper options than he had this year.
anti-trust:
What went wrong? Brandon Jacobs
What went colossally wrong? Cadillac Williams, Vincent Jackson, Vince Young
Next year’s outlook? He has Reggie Wayne. Hey, it’s better than having Kevin Jones…sorry Scott.
Baltimore Tools:
What went wrong? Lee Evans, Roy Williams
What went colossally wrong? Deuce McCallister
Next year’s outlook? It’s an even year. There is truth to the odd/even year theory. Check the ROFFL history page.
New Jersey Jacobins:
What went wrong? Donovan McNabb, Brian Leonard
What went colossally wrong? Travis Henry, Darrell Jackson, Todd Heap
Next year’s outlook? Hey, nobody has ever been a three-peat toilet bowl winner.
This is the final edition for 2007. Yes, I made it through another year. Thank you everyone for reading and commenting. Although this is a thankless
job, and sometimes the columns are not of the highest quality, if I can help you all waste 5-10 minutes of your week…then it is always worth it.
That’s all folks…Till 2008
playoffs big guy. Although, I feel bad for Jarrett. He clearly had a playoff team. It just fell short at the end. I also feel bad for the non-playoff teams. Not
because you didn’t make the playoffs (you all sucked and you know it – myself included), but since Parker is not headed for the lottery, there will be no
schlong bowl this year…I’ll give you a moment to recover from that heartbreaking news.
…
My sincere apology goes out to Dave. Nobody wants to be the first two-time Toilet Bowl winner. I spoke to Dave recently and I can tell you he is truly
upset. He had a tough year and it’s hard to come back from losing your best three players to injury (Andre Johnson, Travis Henry, and Donovan
McNabb). I can also attest to that. So can most of the teams headed for the lottery. But when Dave’s team was in tact (specifically when Johnson was in
the lineup), then Dave was fully capable of putting up 110+ on any given week.
I’ll leave predictions to Marc and rankings to Jay. But I think the matchup to watch is the one between Rich and Parker. I think the eventual champion will
be the winner of this grudge match. I can’t pick sides though, since Parker is my favorite league member on the west side and Rich is my favorite
league member in the dirty south. Who is my favorite league member of all, you ask? Easy…ME!!!
However, I am rooting for Chris Brockman to win it all. Why, vote for him? Because he is the villain of the league. And you just know he would do
something to piss everyone off when he wins and when he gets the trophy (yes, twice). And I for one want to boo and throw tomatos at him during the
trophy presentation.
A few things to keep in mind for next year:
- A player rarely ever follows up a career year with similar stats (see Peyton Manning, Jamal Lewis, Shaun Alexander, and LaDainian Tomlinson).
Keep that in mind whoever drafts Tom Brady next year. - Look at players stats after thirteen weeks to get a true sense in how he performed. Because playoff stats only matter if you make the playoffs.
But if a guy scores 5 TD’s in week 16 and 17, but only has 7 for the year, well he’s not helping you much during the season. And he didn’t really
score 7 TD’s during the fantasy year.
Season in review:
What went better than expected:
- Tom Brady – The runaway #1 fantasy player. Beats his closest competitor by almost 85 points.
- Tony Romo – Second best QB. Second best fantasy player overall. 9th QB drafted.
- Randy Moss - #1 ranked fantasy WR. Challenging Jerry Rice for best season by a WR ever.
- Ben Roethlisberger – Drafted as a backup, became a must start.
- Brett Favre – 22 TD’s. 5th ranked QB in fantasy. Who said he should retire?
- Braylon Edwards – Top 3 WR. 12 Td’s and counting.
- Jamal Lewis – Proved he still has a little left in the tank.
- Kellen Winslow – Threw himself in the discussion for top TE in fantasy.
- Jason Witten – See Kellen Winslow.
- Greg Jennings – 10 TD’s. Surpassed Driver as go to receiver on Green Bay.
- Ronnie Brown – For half the season, he was the man.
- Wes Welker – The best Caucasian receiver in the league.
- Adrian Peterson – The Barry Sanders for the new millennium.
- Dallas Clark – Further proof that this was the year of the TE.
- David Garrard – From backup QB, to arguably the most consistent and least risky fantasy QB play.
- Derrick Mason – 85 catches. Headed for over 100. What is this, 2004?
- Roddy White – 62 catches, 920 yards, 4 TD’s…all with Joey Harrington throwing him the ball.
- LenDale White – drafted as a bench RB, became a must start.
- Dwayne Bowe – Best rookie WR. Hey, it surprised me.
Surprises out of nowhere:
- Derek Anderson – On absolutely nobody’s radar. But Brady Quinn was drafted.
- Earnest Graham – Arguably the best backup RB to be picked up off the waivers this year.
- Justin Fargas – A top ten RB during the second half of the season.
- Bobby Engram – 72 catches and 4 TD’s. Benefited from injuries to Branch and Hackett.
- Shaun McDonald – This year’s Mike Furrey. Almost matched Roy Williams production and outplayed Calvin Johnson.
- Kenny Watson – Is Rudi’s time up in Cincy?
- Ryan Grant – The next Dorsey Levens.
- Nick Folk and Mason Crosby – Rookie kickers who will finish in the top three fantasy kickers. Both undrafted.
What went as expected:
- Brian Westbrook - #1 ranked fantasy RB.
- Terrell Owens - #2 fantasy WR. Almost matched Moss stat for stat.
- Reggie Wayne – Surpassed Marvin as the #1 receiver on Indy.
- Antonio Gates – Still the best TE, but he’s no longer the Chase Utley of the TE’s.
- Willis McGahee – Why they don’t give him the ball more, I don’t know. But he proved that the only thing holding him back was being stuck in
Buffalo. - Marshawn Lynch – A solid rookie campaign. Didn’t rock the league, but is a solid keeper.
What went worse than expected:
- Philip Rivers – I don’t care. I’m still keeping him.
- Reggie Brown – If we gave double points for receptions and TD’s, Reggie Brown would still not be worth owning.
- Mark Clayton – there goes the idea of third year receiver hitting their peak.
- Thomas Jones – He scored his first TD in week 13.
- Deuce McAllister – Can’t blame an injury, can you? Of course you can.
- Cadillac Williams – See Deuce.
- Lee Evans – I thought he was supposed to build upon his fantastic 2006 season. So did Marc.
- Jon Kitna – What happened to that high powered Detroit passing attack?
- Roy Williams – I blame Jon Kitna.
- Calvin Johnson – I blame Jon Kitna and Mike Martz.
- Tatum Bell – I’m seeing a pattern here…
- Travis Henry – His two season highlights: News breaking that he has eight illegitimate children, and getting caught smoking pot (again). Two
things that don’t (but should) get awarded points in fantasy. - Steven Jackson – He made it about 40% of the way to his goal of 2,500 yards. But he did make a pretty decent commercial.
- Larry Johnson – At least he got paid well. If he were a real nice guy, he’d give some money to Navid for the pain and suffering he caused him this
year. - Frank Gore – With the exception of one big game, he missed Norv Turner more than anyone.
- Reggie Bush – There goes that idea of him taking the league by storm.
- Matt Leinart – I’m seeing a pattern of USC people.
- Laurence Maroney – It’s not like he even gets all the carries for New England. I’d rather have Kevin Faulk.
- Rudi Johnson – His career at Cincinnati may go the way of Corey Dillon.
- Marvin Harrison – Is this the end for the greatest receiver ever to come out of Syracuse (not including Intramurals, of course, because Marvin
Harrison can’t compete with the great and nimble Parker Deay)? - Santana Moss – Sorry Scott. I think that says it all.
- Jerious Norwood – I’m really glad Petrino keeps saying they plan on using him more. And by more, they mean 8 touches a game.
- Javon Walker – I really thought he’d have a huge year. But injuries man. Injuries.
- Cedric Benson – I was right on one thing. Go me.
- Terry Glenn – Did not play at all. Following in the long line of WR’s taken too early by Rich. Go Rich.
Brock’s Bandits:
What went right? Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Santonio Holmes, Kellen Winslow, Pitts Def.
What went wrong? Rudi Johnson
Next year’s outlook? Goodbye Brady. But Moss can be kept for another year.
Born To Run My Mouth:
What went right? Tony Romo, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Roddy White, Willis McGahee
What went wrong? Chicago Def., Shaun Alexander. Wait, I’m sorry. I meant ‘Fucking Shaun Alexander’.
Next year’s outlook? Goodbye and good riddance to Shaun Alexander. That’s a good start.
BushMaroney07:
What went right? Greg Jennings, Derrick Mason, Heath Miller
What went wrong? Oddly enough, the two names in the title (Bush and Maroney)
Next year’s outlook? BushMaroney’08? Highly unlikely. Maybe BushPalmer’08.
Five Second Stare:
What went right? Adrian Peterson, Matt Hasselbeck, Brett Favre, Plaxico Burress (at least for the first half of the season)
What went wrong? Cedric Benson.
Next year’s outlook? Can’t be that bad. He gets to keep Adrian Peterson.
Nomads In The Deep:
What went right? Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, Ben Roethlisberger
What went wrong? Marc Bulger, Javon Walker, Larry Johnson, Frank Gore.
Next year’s outlook? Lot of options, but there is one certainty. It won’t be Gus Frerotte. (PS – Not to bring up the issue. But I can see where Navid is
coming from in his complaint and I think he has a point. Not that Nick is wrong either. And I really think it was much ado about nothing.)
Shermtanks:
What went right? Brandon Marshall
What went wrong? Willie Parker, Vernon Davis,
Next year’s outlook? Jason’s big guys played well, but nobody had that spectacular year. But he gets to keep LDT for one more year. LaDainian’s got
at least two more good years left in him.
Hungry Horses:
What went right? Joseph Addai, Brian Westbrook, Bobby Engram.
What went wrong? DeAngelo Williams, James Jones, Jay Cutler, Chris Brown, Marvin Harrison.
Next year’s outlook? Parker’s got his RB’s set. And if he really wants to stick it to Gregg Moore, he’ll keep Correll Buckhalter.
Fighting Blue Crabs:
What went right? Terrell Owens, Jamal Lewis
What went wrong? Julius Jones
Next year’s outlook? One more year with Peyton, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Peyton wants his TD record back after Brady beats it this year.
For the six lottery teams, I’ll rephrase it differently.
Nose:
What went wrong? Steve Smith, Eli Manning
What went colossally wrong? Jerious Norwood
Next year’s outlook? The nose has some options. And he plans on using them to return to his 8th place glory.
The Next Google:
What went wrong? Laveraneous Coles
What went colossally wrong? Santana Moss, Jake Delhomme, Brandon Jackson,
Next year’s outlook? At least he has better keeper options than he had this year.
anti-trust:
What went wrong? Brandon Jacobs
What went colossally wrong? Cadillac Williams, Vincent Jackson, Vince Young
Next year’s outlook? He has Reggie Wayne. Hey, it’s better than having Kevin Jones…sorry Scott.
Baltimore Tools:
What went wrong? Lee Evans, Roy Williams
What went colossally wrong? Deuce McCallister
Next year’s outlook? It’s an even year. There is truth to the odd/even year theory. Check the ROFFL history page.
New Jersey Jacobins:
What went wrong? Donovan McNabb, Brian Leonard
What went colossally wrong? Travis Henry, Darrell Jackson, Todd Heap
Next year’s outlook? Hey, nobody has ever been a three-peat toilet bowl winner.
This is the final edition for 2007. Yes, I made it through another year. Thank you everyone for reading and commenting. Although this is a thankless
job, and sometimes the columns are not of the highest quality, if I can help you all waste 5-10 minutes of your week…then it is always worth it.
That’s all folks…Till 2008
