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If you sense some bitterness or hostility in this article, my beloved Mets just completed one of the most unbelievable meltdowns in sports history. So you’
ll have to excuse me.
Some random thoughts.
Some football thoughts:
As if Chris Brockman needed more luck to turn his way. If Marvin Harrison is out with an injury, guess who benefits: Anthony Gonzalez. Guess who has
Gonzalez. Guess whose teams only deficiency so far is a lack of a #3 WR. That’s right. Same answer to both of the questions.
I find it funny that people congratulate Parker for his American Dad performance via the message board. You know, back in the day, people would just
call Parker, or send him a text message, or write him an email. You know some personal contact. But apparently the message board is the place to go,
so everyone can read it. I wonder if this will be a sign of things to come. That is, if it hasn’t already happened.
I don’t know what was more impressive. Navid picking up Patrick Crayton and playing him as he scored an impressive 32.39 point performance. Or
yours truly, picking up Daunte Culpepper and watching him throw up 34.99 points. (Sidenote: remember when Jason was hyping up Patrick Crayton at
the beginning of the season. I guess he was right. Too bad he dropped him before he could enjoy it.)
That’s all I have.
So since it’s about a third of the way into the regular season, I think it’s time for the annual “Fantasy vs. Reality” portion of this column.
1. Brocks Bandits (4-0) – New England Patriots (4-0).
a. Aside from the obvious comparisons: Both undefeated, both are having down years from their #1 RB’s (Rudi Johnson and Maroney), and both have
the stud QB and WR (Brady and Moss). The main reason why I make this comparison is because of this.
i. If I compare Brock to say Indianapolis, then I’ll get the following message. “What the fuck bro? Why’d you make me the Colts? They suck. I’m the Pats
bitch. Your column sucks. I’m going to kick your ass this week. And I don’t just mean in fantasy football.”
ii. Now, if I compare Brock to the Pats, then I get the following message. “Great column buddy. Thanks for making me the Pats. Love it. Keep it up man.
Good luck this week.”
Now which message would you rather get?
2. Born to Run My Mouth (3-1) – Dallas Cowboys (4-0)
a. What can you say? Romo can do no wrong. And at the moment, there is little wrong that BTRMM or America’s team can do. Throw in a great start
from their #1 WR (T.O. and Housh), the fact that they both have there second best WR injured (Hines Ward and Terry Glenn), and that they both have
an impressive RB tandem (Shaun and McGahee; Barber and Jones), and you see the comparisons. Although that Eric Johnson sleeper talk was a bit
premature, don’t you think? Rich, you might want to talk to you insider again.
3. BushMaroney07 (3-1) – Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1)
a. Right now, you can’t tell if either team is legit. BushMaroney07 has defeated Shermtanks, anti-trust, and Baltimore Tools (a combined 4-8 record).
That’s two of the bottom teams (tools and anti-trust) and the team with the lowest point total so far (shermtanks). Yet BushMaroney07 has lost to NJ
Jacobins (arguably his toughest competition so far). And Pittsburgh has defeated Cleveland, Buffalo, and San Francisco (a combined 5-7 record). And
lost to Arizona, who is arguably their toughest competition so far. But a win is a win and you beat up on your lower competition, not play down to their
levels. So they both deserve credit for a strong start to the season. Still, a lot will be determined when the match-ups get more difficult.
b. Btw, the same argument I had for Brock, I could make for Josh and the Baltimore Ravens.
4. Five Second Stare (2-2) – Indianapolis Colts (4-0)
a. I know the records don’t match. But I believe that when you are the defending champ, it doesn’t matter what your record says. Because any team that
wants the crown has to take it away from you. That title is yours until you no longer have it. And until FSS is eliminated, he is the team to beat. Same
goes for the Colts. Although a more accurate comparison would be the Seattle Seahawks.
5. Fighting Blue Crabs (2-2) – Houston Texans (2-2)
a. After a strong start (both teams winning their first two), these two teams have lost there last two and sit at .500 on the season. But considering that
nobody expected much from either team at the start of the season (Everybody thought FBC had the worst draft and people thought Schaub was not the
answer in Houston), both teams have exceeded expectations and are legitimate playoff contenders. Throw in some solid QB play, some good WR’s, but
mixed RB play and one key WR injury (Andre and Chad Johnson), and you can see why both teams only sit at .500.
6. Hungry Horses (2-2) – Denver (2-2)
a. Both teams are only going as far as their RB’s take them (Westbrook and Addai; Henry and Young). With injury concerns already hitting one of
each's RB’s (Westbrook missed last weeks game against New York and Henry left last weeks game against Indy early), then it falls upon an
underperforming receiving core (Marvin and Javon have not been doing there jobs) and a 2nd year QB who has yet to prove himself (Cutler). In the
end, both teams playoff hopes will fall upon whether that QB is ready or not.
7. New Jersey Jacobins (2-2) – Arizona Cardinals (2-2).
a. Both teams sit at .500 despite some lackluster performances from their #1 QB’s (McNabb and Leinart) and a major injury to their #1 WR’s (Andre
Johnson and Anquan Boldin). But if either of those receivers are out for any longer and those #1 QB’s continue to underperform, then it might be time
to give the job to the backups (Kitna and Warner).
8. Nomads in the Deep (2-2) – Chicago Bears (1-3)
a. The runner ups from last year have had disappointing seasons so far. Thanks largely in part to poor QB play (Bulger and Grossman), and even
worse RB play (LJ and Gore have struggled, but not as much as Benson). So both teams now turn their hopes to their backups (Roethlisberger and
Griese) and hope that guys start playing to their capabilities. It’s early, so you can’t count these two teams out, but this upcoming week will determine a
lot (Nomads plays a 2-2 NJJ, while Chicago faces division rival Green Bay).
9. The Next Google (2-2) – New York Jets (1-3)
a. The strength of these teams were supposed to be in the RB’s (Portis and MJD; Thomas Jones and Leon Washington) and the genius minds of the
team managers (Watson and Mangini). Wait, did I just call Scott Watson a genius. Hold on; let me check my bank account. Transfer from Scott Watson
made. Ok. Back to what I was saying. Scott Watson is a genius. Yet both have been involved in some early conspiracy (Scott’s draft day trade and the
whole spygate fiasco). On the field, both have had to watch poor performances from their #1 RB’s (MJD and TJ), combined with injuries to their starting
QB’s (Delhomme and Pennington). Although both have received decent performances from their WR’s (Coles and Welker for Scott, Coles and Cotchery
for the Jets). Maybe that’s why both teams aren’t out of it yet. But they will need better performances out of there defenses (SD can’t stop the pass and
the Jets can’t stop anybody) to stay in contention.
10. Shermtanks (2-2) – Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1)
a. The lowest scoring team in ROFFL meet the lowest scoring team in the NFL. Yet, both teams are right in the playoff hunt. No thanks to their
struggling RB’s (MJD and LDT). But the bye week should help Jacksonville regroup and Shermtanks has the players and the talent to make a serious
run. It’s truly amazing that Sherm is 2-2 and not 0-4. The league has truly missed an opportunity to knock down a sleeping giant.
11. Nose (1-3) – Detroit Lions (3-1)
a. Sure the records are opposites, but you know what both teams have in common. They both are dependent on there air attacks. Neither team is
getting much out of their running games. There QB’s are turnover prone, but they got the receivers to make up for it all. So they will only go as far as
those receivers take them. For both’s sake, lets hope the injuries to Calvin Johnson and Anquan Boldin are not serious.
12. anti-trust (1-3) – St. Louis Rams (0-4)
a. Both teams have had to deal with a lot of injuries to their key players. St. Louis has lost Orlando Pace, Steven Jackson, and Marc Bulger. Meanwhile,
the trust has lost Brandon Jacobs and Cadillac Williams (out for the season). But while the Rams are headed for the lottery, Nick’s squad is still in
contention.
13. Baltimore Tools (1-3) – New Orleans Saints (0-3)
a. Both teams are fan favorites (I mean, how can you not root for the Tools after all he does as commissioner, and how can you not root for the Saints
after Katrina). But both teams sit in last place and are already down one starting RB (Deuce). It’s still early, so both teams can turn it around, but they
need more production from their WR’s (Lee Evans and Marques Colston) and there remaining RB’s (Bush and Thomas Jones).
14. Random Thoughts – I’ll let you guys decide who my team is.
Four weeks down. Only nine left to go. This is when you start saving your season or making the moves for playoff time. No more believing that there is
still time. So good luck everyone. Even you Brock.
I heart you all…
ll have to excuse me.
Some random thoughts.
- Favorite song right now, “No One” by Alicia Keys. That woman always comes out with something soulful. I can listen to it all day long.
- I love how they use the Jay Z song, “Ain’t No Love (Heart of the City)” in the ‘American Gangster’ trailer. It’s an old song (from the ‘Blueprint’
album), but I hear Jay Z’s coming out with an album in the spirit of the movie (same name too). It’s not a soundtrack per se, but apparently he’s
inspired by the movie. We may hear some tracks reminding us of his first album (the classic ‘Reasonable Doubt’). I’m looking forward to it, since
Jay has fallen off creatively since he became a CEO. - ‘Chuck’ (Mondays at 8pm on NBC) is a good show. I like the mix of humor and action. Plus the female lead (Yvonne Strzechowski) is hot. I
recommend you watch. Did I mention how hot the actress is? - How many people watched ‘Caveman’? Chris Brockman has put the over/under at 1.5 shows before cancellation. I say it makes three. But 10
million people watched the pilot. So maybe it will have a longer life (although my guess is people tune in to see what it’s all about, then quickly
lose interest). - You know that Nike commercial with Shawn Merriman and Steven Jackson running through continuous plays against different teams, in different
stadiums, and weather. It’s a really cool commercial. But has anybody noticed that both of these guys have had really bad seasons so far. I don’t
think you’ll be seeing another commercial featuring these two. Unless Merriman starts taking more steroids and Steven Jackson buy a new groin.
Actually, I’m all for the last part. They sell those on ebay, right? Can’t Dr. James Andrews perform that surgery? - Lebron James was terrible on SNL. He doesn’t have that natural charisma like Peyton or MJ. And I thought the Adam Sandberg digital short was
pretty good, despite what Marc thinks. If anyone likes hip hop they can appreciate the slow, rap ballad featuring a guest singer doing the chorus,
that every major rapper (LL Cool J, Nelly, 50 Cent, Ja Rule, etc) has done in his career. - I’m looking forward to seeing what Seth Rogen does on SNL this weekend.
- Friday Night Lights season two begins this Friday. I hear in order to tap into the audience more, there will be more teenage storylines (what is this
CW?) and less football. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. - Don’t ask me why, but I watched “Resident Evil 3” and “Good Luck Chuck”. I do not recommend either unless you are a big fan of the video game
(for RE3) and an even bigger fan of Jessica Alba (for GLC). Although there was no nudity by Alba, but plenty of nudity in the GLC, so if you want
to see that kind of stuff then go ahead. Who am I kidding? I totally recommend GLC. - I watched ‘Knocked Up’ (bought the DVD) again. Good movie, but nowhere near as good ‘40 Year Old Virgin’.
Some football thoughts:
As if Chris Brockman needed more luck to turn his way. If Marvin Harrison is out with an injury, guess who benefits: Anthony Gonzalez. Guess who has
Gonzalez. Guess whose teams only deficiency so far is a lack of a #3 WR. That’s right. Same answer to both of the questions.
I find it funny that people congratulate Parker for his American Dad performance via the message board. You know, back in the day, people would just
call Parker, or send him a text message, or write him an email. You know some personal contact. But apparently the message board is the place to go,
so everyone can read it. I wonder if this will be a sign of things to come. That is, if it hasn’t already happened.
I don’t know what was more impressive. Navid picking up Patrick Crayton and playing him as he scored an impressive 32.39 point performance. Or
yours truly, picking up Daunte Culpepper and watching him throw up 34.99 points. (Sidenote: remember when Jason was hyping up Patrick Crayton at
the beginning of the season. I guess he was right. Too bad he dropped him before he could enjoy it.)
That’s all I have.
So since it’s about a third of the way into the regular season, I think it’s time for the annual “Fantasy vs. Reality” portion of this column.
1. Brocks Bandits (4-0) – New England Patriots (4-0).
a. Aside from the obvious comparisons: Both undefeated, both are having down years from their #1 RB’s (Rudi Johnson and Maroney), and both have
the stud QB and WR (Brady and Moss). The main reason why I make this comparison is because of this.
i. If I compare Brock to say Indianapolis, then I’ll get the following message. “What the fuck bro? Why’d you make me the Colts? They suck. I’m the Pats
bitch. Your column sucks. I’m going to kick your ass this week. And I don’t just mean in fantasy football.”
ii. Now, if I compare Brock to the Pats, then I get the following message. “Great column buddy. Thanks for making me the Pats. Love it. Keep it up man.
Good luck this week.”
Now which message would you rather get?
2. Born to Run My Mouth (3-1) – Dallas Cowboys (4-0)
a. What can you say? Romo can do no wrong. And at the moment, there is little wrong that BTRMM or America’s team can do. Throw in a great start
from their #1 WR (T.O. and Housh), the fact that they both have there second best WR injured (Hines Ward and Terry Glenn), and that they both have
an impressive RB tandem (Shaun and McGahee; Barber and Jones), and you see the comparisons. Although that Eric Johnson sleeper talk was a bit
premature, don’t you think? Rich, you might want to talk to you insider again.
3. BushMaroney07 (3-1) – Pittsburgh Steelers (3-1)
a. Right now, you can’t tell if either team is legit. BushMaroney07 has defeated Shermtanks, anti-trust, and Baltimore Tools (a combined 4-8 record).
That’s two of the bottom teams (tools and anti-trust) and the team with the lowest point total so far (shermtanks). Yet BushMaroney07 has lost to NJ
Jacobins (arguably his toughest competition so far). And Pittsburgh has defeated Cleveland, Buffalo, and San Francisco (a combined 5-7 record). And
lost to Arizona, who is arguably their toughest competition so far. But a win is a win and you beat up on your lower competition, not play down to their
levels. So they both deserve credit for a strong start to the season. Still, a lot will be determined when the match-ups get more difficult.
b. Btw, the same argument I had for Brock, I could make for Josh and the Baltimore Ravens.
4. Five Second Stare (2-2) – Indianapolis Colts (4-0)
a. I know the records don’t match. But I believe that when you are the defending champ, it doesn’t matter what your record says. Because any team that
wants the crown has to take it away from you. That title is yours until you no longer have it. And until FSS is eliminated, he is the team to beat. Same
goes for the Colts. Although a more accurate comparison would be the Seattle Seahawks.
5. Fighting Blue Crabs (2-2) – Houston Texans (2-2)
a. After a strong start (both teams winning their first two), these two teams have lost there last two and sit at .500 on the season. But considering that
nobody expected much from either team at the start of the season (Everybody thought FBC had the worst draft and people thought Schaub was not the
answer in Houston), both teams have exceeded expectations and are legitimate playoff contenders. Throw in some solid QB play, some good WR’s, but
mixed RB play and one key WR injury (Andre and Chad Johnson), and you can see why both teams only sit at .500.
6. Hungry Horses (2-2) – Denver (2-2)
a. Both teams are only going as far as their RB’s take them (Westbrook and Addai; Henry and Young). With injury concerns already hitting one of
each's RB’s (Westbrook missed last weeks game against New York and Henry left last weeks game against Indy early), then it falls upon an
underperforming receiving core (Marvin and Javon have not been doing there jobs) and a 2nd year QB who has yet to prove himself (Cutler). In the
end, both teams playoff hopes will fall upon whether that QB is ready or not.
7. New Jersey Jacobins (2-2) – Arizona Cardinals (2-2).
a. Both teams sit at .500 despite some lackluster performances from their #1 QB’s (McNabb and Leinart) and a major injury to their #1 WR’s (Andre
Johnson and Anquan Boldin). But if either of those receivers are out for any longer and those #1 QB’s continue to underperform, then it might be time
to give the job to the backups (Kitna and Warner).
8. Nomads in the Deep (2-2) – Chicago Bears (1-3)
a. The runner ups from last year have had disappointing seasons so far. Thanks largely in part to poor QB play (Bulger and Grossman), and even
worse RB play (LJ and Gore have struggled, but not as much as Benson). So both teams now turn their hopes to their backups (Roethlisberger and
Griese) and hope that guys start playing to their capabilities. It’s early, so you can’t count these two teams out, but this upcoming week will determine a
lot (Nomads plays a 2-2 NJJ, while Chicago faces division rival Green Bay).
9. The Next Google (2-2) – New York Jets (1-3)
a. The strength of these teams were supposed to be in the RB’s (Portis and MJD; Thomas Jones and Leon Washington) and the genius minds of the
team managers (Watson and Mangini). Wait, did I just call Scott Watson a genius. Hold on; let me check my bank account. Transfer from Scott Watson
made. Ok. Back to what I was saying. Scott Watson is a genius. Yet both have been involved in some early conspiracy (Scott’s draft day trade and the
whole spygate fiasco). On the field, both have had to watch poor performances from their #1 RB’s (MJD and TJ), combined with injuries to their starting
QB’s (Delhomme and Pennington). Although both have received decent performances from their WR’s (Coles and Welker for Scott, Coles and Cotchery
for the Jets). Maybe that’s why both teams aren’t out of it yet. But they will need better performances out of there defenses (SD can’t stop the pass and
the Jets can’t stop anybody) to stay in contention.
10. Shermtanks (2-2) – Jacksonville Jaguars (2-1)
a. The lowest scoring team in ROFFL meet the lowest scoring team in the NFL. Yet, both teams are right in the playoff hunt. No thanks to their
struggling RB’s (MJD and LDT). But the bye week should help Jacksonville regroup and Shermtanks has the players and the talent to make a serious
run. It’s truly amazing that Sherm is 2-2 and not 0-4. The league has truly missed an opportunity to knock down a sleeping giant.
11. Nose (1-3) – Detroit Lions (3-1)
a. Sure the records are opposites, but you know what both teams have in common. They both are dependent on there air attacks. Neither team is
getting much out of their running games. There QB’s are turnover prone, but they got the receivers to make up for it all. So they will only go as far as
those receivers take them. For both’s sake, lets hope the injuries to Calvin Johnson and Anquan Boldin are not serious.
12. anti-trust (1-3) – St. Louis Rams (0-4)
a. Both teams have had to deal with a lot of injuries to their key players. St. Louis has lost Orlando Pace, Steven Jackson, and Marc Bulger. Meanwhile,
the trust has lost Brandon Jacobs and Cadillac Williams (out for the season). But while the Rams are headed for the lottery, Nick’s squad is still in
contention.
13. Baltimore Tools (1-3) – New Orleans Saints (0-3)
a. Both teams are fan favorites (I mean, how can you not root for the Tools after all he does as commissioner, and how can you not root for the Saints
after Katrina). But both teams sit in last place and are already down one starting RB (Deuce). It’s still early, so both teams can turn it around, but they
need more production from their WR’s (Lee Evans and Marques Colston) and there remaining RB’s (Bush and Thomas Jones).
14. Random Thoughts – I’ll let you guys decide who my team is.
Four weeks down. Only nine left to go. This is when you start saving your season or making the moves for playoff time. No more believing that there is
still time. So good luck everyone. Even you Brock.
I heart you all…
