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Sorry if this week’s column sounds a bit incoherent or angry. It’s been a crazy week. To everyone who called or emailed me, I appreciate the kind
thoughts and your concern. To everyone else, F you. See if I am there for you when you go through hard times.
(Just kidding everyone, relax).
Anyway, I recently spoke to a fellow league member who shall remain nameless (hint, he’s the league treasurer). He told me that I was slacking on my
column by writing bullet point comments. He wanted to see paragraphs and long ass commentary like my old articles. Now, I was under the impression
that people liked the shorter columns, since they would just skim through the longer ones in the past. But since this unidentified league member
(another hint, he’s Navid’s roommate) has asked for more words, I have decided to give this man what he wants (one final hint, his name is Scott
Watson).
Allow me to vent for a minute. Now I am an avid listener of the podcasts and I’ve spoken to several of you to gauge your concerns over the length of the
draft. However, the arguments for the time limit are flawed. First off, you can’t complain if you voted against the time limit for this year’s draft. I mean that’
s like voting in a league member, then demanding that league member be removed (wait…that already happened). I’m just saying we all had a chance
to vote for a time limit for the draft that just passed. Majority decided not to. Now granted the draft took too long and please understand that I am not
speaking out against a time limit, merely because I like to take my time (PS – Can we relax on calling out people for taking their time making picks. We
didn’t violate any league rules. So I’m tired or hearing people constantly say this or that about Navid or myself. Because in my defense, while I did take
a while to make some selections, my pick of Drew Brees, Dwayne Bowe, Chris Johnson, etc were made very quickly. Don’t glance over the quick picks
and just focus on the long ones. The truth is my average time probably balanced out.) Anyway, while I agree something needs to be done. I think a lot
of people are misleading people on “how easy” it is to implement a time limit. Let me ask you a question, “Who will monitor the time limit?”. Everybody
answer with me at one, “MARC!!!”. That’s right. It’s always so easy to ask for these additional changes when they require no further effort on your part
(that is if you make any extra effort for the betterment of the league in the first place). While I do not do as much as Marc or Scott during or before draft
weekend, I do a few things. And let me say, the distraction takes your focus away from what is going on with the draft or catching up on sleep, etc. Is it
fair to ask someone to monitor time limits while the rest of us can go about our business? I say no. Point number two. How specific will we get? What if
someone forgets to check the clock or mis-times it somehow? I mean are we talking seconds count here and if so, don’t you foresee a lot of
complaints? I can hear it now, “I had 2 more seconds to pick” or “he got more than 15 minutes, why didn’t I?” On the flip side, if we are lenient for a few
seconds, where does that leniency stop? 30 seconds, a minute? We are putting a lot of this responsibility into human error. It’s not automated. We don’
t have a clock that automatically resets itself and countdowns again after every 15 minutes. We will have a stop watch for crying out loud. This is not a
track meet people…Another point, I hear people comparing this to the NFL draft and wondering why the pros can make such quick picks and we can’t.
Especially considering that they have millions riding on each pick. Well, keep in mind, every team takes the full allotment of time to pick. Nobody picks
before their 10 or 15 minutes is up. However, in our league, people make quick picks while others take longer. Isn’t it entirely possible that if we
implement a time limit that some of those will say, “Hey, I have nine more minutes to pick, why don’t I take a few more minutes to think this through?” If
everyone takes ten minutes, doesn’t that balance out the same (give or take a few minutes) to what we currently have?
The truth of the matter is there is no answer that will please everyone. Something needs to be done, but nothing will be perfect. The harsh truth is that
the only way to reduce the length of the draft is to do things none of us want, which are:
For the record, I think a time limit would help but be difficult to enforce. I also see a lot of problems where things could get out of hand whenever
someone takes over the allotted fifteen minutes, loses his pick, and let’s face it…none of us want to see that happen. With that said, I will do my best
next year to make picks quicker. And I am all for anyone with a reasonable idea on how to enforce the time limit.
Does anyone think this league is starting to suffer from a case of TMI? I mean with predictions, podcast, and yahoo projections that can cloud your
judgment on any given day, isn’t it a bit much. I kind of miss the good old days of when we just played the game for fun and made decisions on our own
without everyone over analyzing every single aspect. Now before you start saying isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black (did I get that right?), I will say
my column does not help and that makes me a hypocrite for complaining. But it’s my column and I can do what I want to.
It pains me to see Jay Cutler doing so well. I have had a special place in my heart for him since he was a rookie. I knew he was destined for great
things. So did Parker. We just weren’t fortunate enough to have him when he truly broke out. I think he’ll finish as a top 5 QB and possibly finish the
year with more fantasy points that Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.
Just as I said with Cutler, I must reinforce my belief in Calvin Johnson. I always spot the future stars a year too early. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment
to myself or another reason why I suck at this, since I don’t end up keeping them.
I still think a lot of people in the league drafted guys based on name recognition without seeing the warning signs. And that will be their downfall. Chad
Johnson? Nate Burleson? Javon Walker? Marc Bulger? Joey Galloway? Those guys are finished. I don’t care what you believe. Football is a young man’
s game and any type of offseason drama doesn’t help. Then again, I thought Hines Ward was finished too. I don’t know what the point of this blabbering
is. My mindset right now is similar to that of Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”.
Favorite text of the week:
Rich: I hate you.
Brian: Why? Give me a break? I just lost my job.
Rich: What, really?
Brian: I work for Lehman Brothers.
Rich: Oh no…sorry
(10 minutes later)
Rich: I still hate you.
(PS – I left out the part where Rich offered his help if he could be of any. I didn’t feel that was important and kind of ruined the joke.)
So, unidentified league member...is this column long enough for you? Or would you prefer the bullet point version.
Lastly, I leave you with some thoughts on everyone’s team.
Jarrett – Good luck this week. Your team welcomes back Steve Smith this week and I fully expect him to have a huge game. Just my luck…
Jason – It makes me sad to say that in all the leagues I’ve ever participated in, I’ve never had the fortune of owning LaDanian Tomlinson.
Navid – Brandon Marshall was a beast. If we held our draft after they announced he was going to only have a one game suspension, then he would
have gone in the first 5 picks.
Parker – I guess you are the Super Crew…
Dave – You are 1-1 with a high point total. You can stop complaining. It’s obvious your team will be ok. You have some very good players. Yes, it’s
unfortunate and all of us would be complaining if it happened to us, but you have reason for hope and optimism.
Nick – When do we play? What will happen when those two worlds collide??
PS – Is it me or has there not been much smack talk this year.
Jay – Tough year so far. You lose in week one because of a garbage TD against Denver’s Defense. Then Patrick Crayton does absolutely nothing in a
game his team scores 41 points. Then throw in Ryan Grants injury. But hey, at least you’re still good looking.
PPS – When can we expect a WGLPT? People are dying to find out if you think they are good looking or gross…
Marc – On the brightside, looks like you have a couple of quality receivers in Lee Evans and Santana Moss. However, Larry Johnson looks like he
could be the biggest bust of the year. Although Antonio Gates looks ok despite his nagging toe injury. A move here or there and you could have that
100 point team you’ve always dreamed of.
Rich – Despite your constant angry emails, particularly those sent at the most inopportune time; I will say I think your team will bounce back. TJ cannot
be this bad, he is simply too good of a player. You just have to weather a few more bad weeks, because the Bengals have a very tough schedule. But
when Chris Henry comes back to spread the field, hopefully TJ’s productivity will go up. McFadden will have some of those amazing 160 yard games.
But with Fargas and Bush, you just won’t know when those games will come. It will be frustrating. Romo is arguably the #1 fantasy QB right now with
Brady out and Peyton struggling. And the greatest news of all just might be that you didn’t keep McGahee.
Scott – Looks like you drafted Calvin Johnson right where he belonged.
Sidenote: I wonder what it’s like on any given Sunday in the Sadri/Watson apartment. when Detroit plays. In week one Calvin got the catches, Roy got
the TD, and Kevin Smith had a good day. However, in week two Calvin got the catches and the TD’s, Roy came up empty handed, Kevin Smith did too,
and Jon Kitna had the two TD’s to Calvin, but that was offset by 3 INT’s. Detroit Lions football…it’s deeee-pressing.
Josh – I think you have a keeper in Felix Jones. He’s going to be really good one year. I read on CBS Sportlines that they compared him and his
situation to Shaun Alexander’s early years when he was backing up Ricky Waters (thought that was a great comparison). Waters was like Marion
Barber, getting a majority of the carries and TD’s. But Alexander got some carries and did some good with them. So, once he became the starter he
became a fantasy star for a few years. (Sorry you didn’t get to experience any of those years Rich).
Chris Brockman – I told Chris I thought his last podcast was a little weak. We got into a huge argument and needless to say, we are no longer friends.
Anyway, that was a close victory on Monday night over Dave. Nick Folk sure came up big with kicking his way to 14 points. But Cassell looks to be a
game manager, reminding me of Big Ben or even Brady their first years in action. They were not asked to do much, just don’t turn the ball over.
Basically, great in reality, not so helpful in fantasy.
Chris Rosenthall – T.O. is a beast. Hines Ward is rejuvenated. Just wait till Peyton gets going. However, I’d be concerned with that #2 RB. Selvin Young
is looking like a one year (or is it half) wonder.
PPPS – How dare you threaten Drew Brees? It obviously affected him to the tune of 1 TD and 2 INT’s.
Good luck this week everyone.
You too Jarrett, even though you didn’t respond to my email.
thoughts and your concern. To everyone else, F you. See if I am there for you when you go through hard times.
(Just kidding everyone, relax).
Anyway, I recently spoke to a fellow league member who shall remain nameless (hint, he’s the league treasurer). He told me that I was slacking on my
column by writing bullet point comments. He wanted to see paragraphs and long ass commentary like my old articles. Now, I was under the impression
that people liked the shorter columns, since they would just skim through the longer ones in the past. But since this unidentified league member
(another hint, he’s Navid’s roommate) has asked for more words, I have decided to give this man what he wants (one final hint, his name is Scott
Watson).
Allow me to vent for a minute. Now I am an avid listener of the podcasts and I’ve spoken to several of you to gauge your concerns over the length of the
draft. However, the arguments for the time limit are flawed. First off, you can’t complain if you voted against the time limit for this year’s draft. I mean that’
s like voting in a league member, then demanding that league member be removed (wait…that already happened). I’m just saying we all had a chance
to vote for a time limit for the draft that just passed. Majority decided not to. Now granted the draft took too long and please understand that I am not
speaking out against a time limit, merely because I like to take my time (PS – Can we relax on calling out people for taking their time making picks. We
didn’t violate any league rules. So I’m tired or hearing people constantly say this or that about Navid or myself. Because in my defense, while I did take
a while to make some selections, my pick of Drew Brees, Dwayne Bowe, Chris Johnson, etc were made very quickly. Don’t glance over the quick picks
and just focus on the long ones. The truth is my average time probably balanced out.) Anyway, while I agree something needs to be done. I think a lot
of people are misleading people on “how easy” it is to implement a time limit. Let me ask you a question, “Who will monitor the time limit?”. Everybody
answer with me at one, “MARC!!!”. That’s right. It’s always so easy to ask for these additional changes when they require no further effort on your part
(that is if you make any extra effort for the betterment of the league in the first place). While I do not do as much as Marc or Scott during or before draft
weekend, I do a few things. And let me say, the distraction takes your focus away from what is going on with the draft or catching up on sleep, etc. Is it
fair to ask someone to monitor time limits while the rest of us can go about our business? I say no. Point number two. How specific will we get? What if
someone forgets to check the clock or mis-times it somehow? I mean are we talking seconds count here and if so, don’t you foresee a lot of
complaints? I can hear it now, “I had 2 more seconds to pick” or “he got more than 15 minutes, why didn’t I?” On the flip side, if we are lenient for a few
seconds, where does that leniency stop? 30 seconds, a minute? We are putting a lot of this responsibility into human error. It’s not automated. We don’
t have a clock that automatically resets itself and countdowns again after every 15 minutes. We will have a stop watch for crying out loud. This is not a
track meet people…Another point, I hear people comparing this to the NFL draft and wondering why the pros can make such quick picks and we can’t.
Especially considering that they have millions riding on each pick. Well, keep in mind, every team takes the full allotment of time to pick. Nobody picks
before their 10 or 15 minutes is up. However, in our league, people make quick picks while others take longer. Isn’t it entirely possible that if we
implement a time limit that some of those will say, “Hey, I have nine more minutes to pick, why don’t I take a few more minutes to think this through?” If
everyone takes ten minutes, doesn’t that balance out the same (give or take a few minutes) to what we currently have?
The truth of the matter is there is no answer that will please everyone. Something needs to be done, but nothing will be perfect. The harsh truth is that
the only way to reduce the length of the draft is to do things none of us want, which are:
- Go to online draft format.
- Reduce the number of teams.
- Increase the number of keepers.
- Just let it be and stop F’n complaining.
For the record, I think a time limit would help but be difficult to enforce. I also see a lot of problems where things could get out of hand whenever
someone takes over the allotted fifteen minutes, loses his pick, and let’s face it…none of us want to see that happen. With that said, I will do my best
next year to make picks quicker. And I am all for anyone with a reasonable idea on how to enforce the time limit.
Does anyone think this league is starting to suffer from a case of TMI? I mean with predictions, podcast, and yahoo projections that can cloud your
judgment on any given day, isn’t it a bit much. I kind of miss the good old days of when we just played the game for fun and made decisions on our own
without everyone over analyzing every single aspect. Now before you start saying isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black (did I get that right?), I will say
my column does not help and that makes me a hypocrite for complaining. But it’s my column and I can do what I want to.
It pains me to see Jay Cutler doing so well. I have had a special place in my heart for him since he was a rookie. I knew he was destined for great
things. So did Parker. We just weren’t fortunate enough to have him when he truly broke out. I think he’ll finish as a top 5 QB and possibly finish the
year with more fantasy points that Peyton Manning and Drew Brees.
Just as I said with Cutler, I must reinforce my belief in Calvin Johnson. I always spot the future stars a year too early. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment
to myself or another reason why I suck at this, since I don’t end up keeping them.
I still think a lot of people in the league drafted guys based on name recognition without seeing the warning signs. And that will be their downfall. Chad
Johnson? Nate Burleson? Javon Walker? Marc Bulger? Joey Galloway? Those guys are finished. I don’t care what you believe. Football is a young man’
s game and any type of offseason drama doesn’t help. Then again, I thought Hines Ward was finished too. I don’t know what the point of this blabbering
is. My mindset right now is similar to that of Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”.
Favorite text of the week:
Rich: I hate you.
Brian: Why? Give me a break? I just lost my job.
Rich: What, really?
Brian: I work for Lehman Brothers.
Rich: Oh no…sorry
(10 minutes later)
Rich: I still hate you.
(PS – I left out the part where Rich offered his help if he could be of any. I didn’t feel that was important and kind of ruined the joke.)
So, unidentified league member...is this column long enough for you? Or would you prefer the bullet point version.
Lastly, I leave you with some thoughts on everyone’s team.
Jarrett – Good luck this week. Your team welcomes back Steve Smith this week and I fully expect him to have a huge game. Just my luck…
Jason – It makes me sad to say that in all the leagues I’ve ever participated in, I’ve never had the fortune of owning LaDanian Tomlinson.
Navid – Brandon Marshall was a beast. If we held our draft after they announced he was going to only have a one game suspension, then he would
have gone in the first 5 picks.
Parker – I guess you are the Super Crew…
Dave – You are 1-1 with a high point total. You can stop complaining. It’s obvious your team will be ok. You have some very good players. Yes, it’s
unfortunate and all of us would be complaining if it happened to us, but you have reason for hope and optimism.
Nick – When do we play? What will happen when those two worlds collide??
PS – Is it me or has there not been much smack talk this year.
Jay – Tough year so far. You lose in week one because of a garbage TD against Denver’s Defense. Then Patrick Crayton does absolutely nothing in a
game his team scores 41 points. Then throw in Ryan Grants injury. But hey, at least you’re still good looking.
PPS – When can we expect a WGLPT? People are dying to find out if you think they are good looking or gross…
Marc – On the brightside, looks like you have a couple of quality receivers in Lee Evans and Santana Moss. However, Larry Johnson looks like he
could be the biggest bust of the year. Although Antonio Gates looks ok despite his nagging toe injury. A move here or there and you could have that
100 point team you’ve always dreamed of.
Rich – Despite your constant angry emails, particularly those sent at the most inopportune time; I will say I think your team will bounce back. TJ cannot
be this bad, he is simply too good of a player. You just have to weather a few more bad weeks, because the Bengals have a very tough schedule. But
when Chris Henry comes back to spread the field, hopefully TJ’s productivity will go up. McFadden will have some of those amazing 160 yard games.
But with Fargas and Bush, you just won’t know when those games will come. It will be frustrating. Romo is arguably the #1 fantasy QB right now with
Brady out and Peyton struggling. And the greatest news of all just might be that you didn’t keep McGahee.
Scott – Looks like you drafted Calvin Johnson right where he belonged.
Sidenote: I wonder what it’s like on any given Sunday in the Sadri/Watson apartment. when Detroit plays. In week one Calvin got the catches, Roy got
the TD, and Kevin Smith had a good day. However, in week two Calvin got the catches and the TD’s, Roy came up empty handed, Kevin Smith did too,
and Jon Kitna had the two TD’s to Calvin, but that was offset by 3 INT’s. Detroit Lions football…it’s deeee-pressing.
Josh – I think you have a keeper in Felix Jones. He’s going to be really good one year. I read on CBS Sportlines that they compared him and his
situation to Shaun Alexander’s early years when he was backing up Ricky Waters (thought that was a great comparison). Waters was like Marion
Barber, getting a majority of the carries and TD’s. But Alexander got some carries and did some good with them. So, once he became the starter he
became a fantasy star for a few years. (Sorry you didn’t get to experience any of those years Rich).
Chris Brockman – I told Chris I thought his last podcast was a little weak. We got into a huge argument and needless to say, we are no longer friends.
Anyway, that was a close victory on Monday night over Dave. Nick Folk sure came up big with kicking his way to 14 points. But Cassell looks to be a
game manager, reminding me of Big Ben or even Brady their first years in action. They were not asked to do much, just don’t turn the ball over.
Basically, great in reality, not so helpful in fantasy.
Chris Rosenthall – T.O. is a beast. Hines Ward is rejuvenated. Just wait till Peyton gets going. However, I’d be concerned with that #2 RB. Selvin Young
is looking like a one year (or is it half) wonder.
PPPS – How dare you threaten Drew Brees? It obviously affected him to the tune of 1 TD and 2 INT’s.
Good luck this week everyone.
You too Jarrett, even though you didn’t respond to my email.