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A few things before we begin.
Happy Rosh Hashanah to all the Jewish league members. Shana Tova.
A quick apology to Scott Watson, Rich Kisss, and Chris Brockman who I always like to poke fun at in my weekly column. It’s all in good fun and I know
they don’t take it personal, which is why I make fun of them. I promise to say nice things about your teams this week or at some point in the future.
I think I’ll skip out on all the talk about movies, TV, music that I usually blabber on about. Although I wonder if anybody has DirecTV and was able to
catch episode one of Friday Night Lights Season Three. Are the episodes available online?
Anyway, since we’re on our way to a third of the season being done (regular season wise), I thought it’d be a nice time to break out the good ole
Fantasy vs. Reality bit.
For those new readers (i.e. Chris Rosenthall), Fantasy vs. Reality is basically my staple article. It’s the article I rewrite every year. Basically I just
compare everybody’s team to a real NFL team and state why. It’s my fallback idea so to speak. Some love it, others complain because I compare them
to the Miami Dolphins.
So without further ado…
Shermtanks (Jason Sherman) – Dallas Cowboys:
Why? Both have ridiculous talent at all the key positions (stud QB – check, stud WR – check, stud RB – check). Heck even the #2 RB is a surprise
rookie (Forte for Jason, Felix Jones for the Cowboys). Yet, both stand at 3-1 after blowing away the competition early only to fall to a surprise (arguably)
team that played a great game (Watson had to throw up 170+ points, while the Redskins controlled the ball for 38 minutes). Both were also preseason
favorites and have done little to make people believe otherwise. You’ll see both of them in the playoffs.
Soaring Pigs (Parker Deay) – New York Giants:
Why? Three Words…The Defending Champs. Four More Words…Definite Chance of Repeating. Sure neither has played the top tier of competition,
but both give you no reason to believe they can’t compete. Led by a steady QB presence and a powerful running game, both teams would be even
scarier if not for some injuries (Westbrook for the Soaring Pigs and even Welker who has suffered indirectly with Brady’s injury, and imagine how good
the Giants would be with Osi).
Double G (Scott Watson) – Denver Broncos:
Why? All offense. No defense. The Jay Cutler led Broncos are throwing up 30+ points with regularity. They are this year’s New England Patriots. But
they can’t stop anybody. They made the Kansas City Chiefs looked like an unstoppable force. Scott Watson just threw up 170+ points without Calvin
Johnson playing. He’s number two in the league in scoring total. Yet his ‘6th round’ draft pick of the Minnesota Vikings defense is not helping out much
(I’m joking on the 6th round part, I forgot which round he took them). Still both teams can win any week with that offense.
Nomads in the Deep (Navid Sadri) – Philadelphia Eagles:
Why? Because these two teams are flat out scary. They may not be in first, but take away a tough loss to Dallas (at Dallas) and an injury to Westbrook
against Chicago and the Eagles just might be undefeated. As for Navid, take away a week one loss to Parker (w/o the services of stud WR Brandon
Marshall who was serving a one game suspension) and he too could be undefeated.
Colt 45’s Bandits (Chris Brockman) – Buffalo Bills:
Why? Because the records are impressive, but can you call either team legit just yet? We need to see both teams defeat some quality teams first, and
beat them convincingly. The Bills opponents are 4-13 (only Jacksonville is 2-2). Chris’ victories are against Dave, Chris R., and Nick (combined record
of 4-8). Chris’ one loss came against Shermtanks (3-1 record). Also, it’s well known that Scott Norwood lives in Maine and has his own podcast. Just like
Chris Brockman…
Nose (Jarrett Blass) – Carolina Panthers:
Why? Because these two teams are finding a way to win despite not having the most impressive stats. In week one, Carolina beat San Diego on a last
second TD. In week one, Jarrett won thanks to a garbage TD scored on Monday night by Darrell Jackson (the soon after dropped and readily available
on waivers Darrell Jackson). In addition, both had to deal with the two game suspensions of Steve Smith.
Maryland Tools (Marc Epstein) – Arizona Cardinals:
Why? Because both teams have a legitimate chance to make the playoffs, but you still have your doubts. Both have excellent WR’s. Both have the
ability to put up big points (as evidenced by last weeks impressive showings – 35 for Arizona, 133+ for the Tools), but something just isn’t right.
Whether it’s Warner’s tendency to turn the ball over or Boldin’s injury for Arizona or LJ’s inconsistency and lack of a QB that can put 25+ points for the
Maryland Tools.
Born to Run My Mouth (Rich Kiss) – San Diego Chargers:
Why? Because both teams were highly regarded as favorites coming into the season, but both currently stand at 2-2 and have underachieved so far.
Both have potentially explosive offenses that are being carried by their stud QB’s (Yes, Philip Rivers is a stud and Tony Romo dates Jessica Simpson,
so he’s a stud in more ways than fantasy). I still believe in both teams and think they will come on strong in the second half of the season and make the
playoffs. And nobody wants to play either one of these teams if they do make the playoffs.
New Jersey Jacobins (Dave Allocco) – New England Patriots:
Why? This is the easiest one of all…Tom Brady. How do you replace Tom Brady? You just can’t. Yet, both have managed to stay in contention and you
cannot count them out just yet. Sure, the record says 2-2, but it could easily be 3-1 or 1-3. And with quality skill players at key positions (You have
Moss and Welker, you can win any week. You have Marion Barber and Andre Johnson, you can win any week), I could see both still being a factor the
rest of the season and in the playoffs.
B’Day – New Orleans Saints:
Why? Because we can put up points with anybody. But apparently out defense sucks, since everyone has a field day when they play us.
Coffeeon3rd (Josh Lukin) – Seattle Seahawks:
Why? Because they were supposed to be a contender. They were coming off playoff seasons. Yet, injuries have derailed the start of the season. Still,
you can’t count either team out. With Engram and Branch returning for Seattle, and Colston returning soon for Coffeeon3rd, things just may be falling
into place for a stretch run. That, plus some surprise play from their questionable RB’s (Bush has been outstanding and Julius Jones has been a
revelation) will certainly help.
Maryland Fighting Blue Crab (Chris Rosenthall) – Oakland Raiders:
Why? Because welcome to the league rookie. Did you really think it would be this easy? I don’t care if you’re Lane Kiffin (with your fancy USC
experience), JaMarcus Russell (with your big arm), or Darren McFadden (and your stupid direct snap tricks). This is the pros. You don’t just walk in
here and dominate. You have to pay your dues. Got that VA Chris? Actually that was pretty harsh. I take it back. Chris is like the Miami Dolphins. New
ownership. Taking over for a once proud franchise. Lots of promise. A good future ahead.
fair trade (Nick Serrano) – Indianapolis Colts:
Why? Because two of the most respected and worshipped people in the NFL and ROFFL are off to a shaky start. Yet, does anyone not believe in Nick
or Peyton? Do you think they can’t turn this around just like that (snap your fingers)? You could blame injuries, poor QB play, school, marriage…but
there is still a long season ahead. And these two guys have you all just where they want you…doubting them.
Five Second Stare (Jay Cantor) – St. Louis Rams:
Why? Because “my have the mighty fallen”. Wasn’t too long ago that these two teams were champions. They had the best nicknames (Greatest Show
on Turf, Best Looking Champion). They went through some roster changes, but some old faces remained (Bulger and Holt for the Rams, the recently
dropped Bulger and Tampa Bay Defense for 5SS). And my have they gotten old quick. Throw in some subpar play from their RB’s (What happened to
Ryan Grant? Is he a one hit wonder? Is Steven Jackson all talk and if so, will Nike take back that awesome commercial they made of him and Shawn
Merriman?), and you have a winless season that just calls for some changes to be made (a coaching one for the Rams, and possibly a trade or two for
5SS).
Sidenote: I hate playing Jay. He always beats me by decimal points. If that happens this week and Jay gets his first victory, I will quit fantasy football.
That’s all I got this week. Enjoy the Vice Presidential debate tonight. Thank you government for bailing us out after my company goes bankrupt.
Good luck this week everyone.
Happy Rosh Hashanah to all the Jewish league members. Shana Tova.
A quick apology to Scott Watson, Rich Kisss, and Chris Brockman who I always like to poke fun at in my weekly column. It’s all in good fun and I know
they don’t take it personal, which is why I make fun of them. I promise to say nice things about your teams this week or at some point in the future.
I think I’ll skip out on all the talk about movies, TV, music that I usually blabber on about. Although I wonder if anybody has DirecTV and was able to
catch episode one of Friday Night Lights Season Three. Are the episodes available online?
Anyway, since we’re on our way to a third of the season being done (regular season wise), I thought it’d be a nice time to break out the good ole
Fantasy vs. Reality bit.
For those new readers (i.e. Chris Rosenthall), Fantasy vs. Reality is basically my staple article. It’s the article I rewrite every year. Basically I just
compare everybody’s team to a real NFL team and state why. It’s my fallback idea so to speak. Some love it, others complain because I compare them
to the Miami Dolphins.
So without further ado…
Shermtanks (Jason Sherman) – Dallas Cowboys:
Why? Both have ridiculous talent at all the key positions (stud QB – check, stud WR – check, stud RB – check). Heck even the #2 RB is a surprise
rookie (Forte for Jason, Felix Jones for the Cowboys). Yet, both stand at 3-1 after blowing away the competition early only to fall to a surprise (arguably)
team that played a great game (Watson had to throw up 170+ points, while the Redskins controlled the ball for 38 minutes). Both were also preseason
favorites and have done little to make people believe otherwise. You’ll see both of them in the playoffs.
Soaring Pigs (Parker Deay) – New York Giants:
Why? Three Words…The Defending Champs. Four More Words…Definite Chance of Repeating. Sure neither has played the top tier of competition,
but both give you no reason to believe they can’t compete. Led by a steady QB presence and a powerful running game, both teams would be even
scarier if not for some injuries (Westbrook for the Soaring Pigs and even Welker who has suffered indirectly with Brady’s injury, and imagine how good
the Giants would be with Osi).
Double G (Scott Watson) – Denver Broncos:
Why? All offense. No defense. The Jay Cutler led Broncos are throwing up 30+ points with regularity. They are this year’s New England Patriots. But
they can’t stop anybody. They made the Kansas City Chiefs looked like an unstoppable force. Scott Watson just threw up 170+ points without Calvin
Johnson playing. He’s number two in the league in scoring total. Yet his ‘6th round’ draft pick of the Minnesota Vikings defense is not helping out much
(I’m joking on the 6th round part, I forgot which round he took them). Still both teams can win any week with that offense.
Nomads in the Deep (Navid Sadri) – Philadelphia Eagles:
Why? Because these two teams are flat out scary. They may not be in first, but take away a tough loss to Dallas (at Dallas) and an injury to Westbrook
against Chicago and the Eagles just might be undefeated. As for Navid, take away a week one loss to Parker (w/o the services of stud WR Brandon
Marshall who was serving a one game suspension) and he too could be undefeated.
Colt 45’s Bandits (Chris Brockman) – Buffalo Bills:
Why? Because the records are impressive, but can you call either team legit just yet? We need to see both teams defeat some quality teams first, and
beat them convincingly. The Bills opponents are 4-13 (only Jacksonville is 2-2). Chris’ victories are against Dave, Chris R., and Nick (combined record
of 4-8). Chris’ one loss came against Shermtanks (3-1 record). Also, it’s well known that Scott Norwood lives in Maine and has his own podcast. Just like
Chris Brockman…
Nose (Jarrett Blass) – Carolina Panthers:
Why? Because these two teams are finding a way to win despite not having the most impressive stats. In week one, Carolina beat San Diego on a last
second TD. In week one, Jarrett won thanks to a garbage TD scored on Monday night by Darrell Jackson (the soon after dropped and readily available
on waivers Darrell Jackson). In addition, both had to deal with the two game suspensions of Steve Smith.
Maryland Tools (Marc Epstein) – Arizona Cardinals:
Why? Because both teams have a legitimate chance to make the playoffs, but you still have your doubts. Both have excellent WR’s. Both have the
ability to put up big points (as evidenced by last weeks impressive showings – 35 for Arizona, 133+ for the Tools), but something just isn’t right.
Whether it’s Warner’s tendency to turn the ball over or Boldin’s injury for Arizona or LJ’s inconsistency and lack of a QB that can put 25+ points for the
Maryland Tools.
Born to Run My Mouth (Rich Kiss) – San Diego Chargers:
Why? Because both teams were highly regarded as favorites coming into the season, but both currently stand at 2-2 and have underachieved so far.
Both have potentially explosive offenses that are being carried by their stud QB’s (Yes, Philip Rivers is a stud and Tony Romo dates Jessica Simpson,
so he’s a stud in more ways than fantasy). I still believe in both teams and think they will come on strong in the second half of the season and make the
playoffs. And nobody wants to play either one of these teams if they do make the playoffs.
New Jersey Jacobins (Dave Allocco) – New England Patriots:
Why? This is the easiest one of all…Tom Brady. How do you replace Tom Brady? You just can’t. Yet, both have managed to stay in contention and you
cannot count them out just yet. Sure, the record says 2-2, but it could easily be 3-1 or 1-3. And with quality skill players at key positions (You have
Moss and Welker, you can win any week. You have Marion Barber and Andre Johnson, you can win any week), I could see both still being a factor the
rest of the season and in the playoffs.
B’Day – New Orleans Saints:
Why? Because we can put up points with anybody. But apparently out defense sucks, since everyone has a field day when they play us.
Coffeeon3rd (Josh Lukin) – Seattle Seahawks:
Why? Because they were supposed to be a contender. They were coming off playoff seasons. Yet, injuries have derailed the start of the season. Still,
you can’t count either team out. With Engram and Branch returning for Seattle, and Colston returning soon for Coffeeon3rd, things just may be falling
into place for a stretch run. That, plus some surprise play from their questionable RB’s (Bush has been outstanding and Julius Jones has been a
revelation) will certainly help.
Maryland Fighting Blue Crab (Chris Rosenthall) – Oakland Raiders:
Why? Because welcome to the league rookie. Did you really think it would be this easy? I don’t care if you’re Lane Kiffin (with your fancy USC
experience), JaMarcus Russell (with your big arm), or Darren McFadden (and your stupid direct snap tricks). This is the pros. You don’t just walk in
here and dominate. You have to pay your dues. Got that VA Chris? Actually that was pretty harsh. I take it back. Chris is like the Miami Dolphins. New
ownership. Taking over for a once proud franchise. Lots of promise. A good future ahead.
fair trade (Nick Serrano) – Indianapolis Colts:
Why? Because two of the most respected and worshipped people in the NFL and ROFFL are off to a shaky start. Yet, does anyone not believe in Nick
or Peyton? Do you think they can’t turn this around just like that (snap your fingers)? You could blame injuries, poor QB play, school, marriage…but
there is still a long season ahead. And these two guys have you all just where they want you…doubting them.
Five Second Stare (Jay Cantor) – St. Louis Rams:
Why? Because “my have the mighty fallen”. Wasn’t too long ago that these two teams were champions. They had the best nicknames (Greatest Show
on Turf, Best Looking Champion). They went through some roster changes, but some old faces remained (Bulger and Holt for the Rams, the recently
dropped Bulger and Tampa Bay Defense for 5SS). And my have they gotten old quick. Throw in some subpar play from their RB’s (What happened to
Ryan Grant? Is he a one hit wonder? Is Steven Jackson all talk and if so, will Nike take back that awesome commercial they made of him and Shawn
Merriman?), and you have a winless season that just calls for some changes to be made (a coaching one for the Rams, and possibly a trade or two for
5SS).
Sidenote: I hate playing Jay. He always beats me by decimal points. If that happens this week and Jay gets his first victory, I will quit fantasy football.
That’s all I got this week. Enjoy the Vice Presidential debate tonight. Thank you government for bailing us out after my company goes bankrupt.
Good luck this week everyone.