knocking these out. So without further ado, I rejoin our regularly scheduled program:
In five years of Retired Orangemen Fantasy Football no team has fully dominated another team, shutting them down all four
years. That is except for Watson, who has handed Brian five losses in a row…
… and Josh, who has dominated Marc.
Yes, in five years I have never beaten Josh. Never once. I came close in 2005, but still lost by 9 points. Actually in five years
Josh has outscored by 541.50 to 354.93. This includes a Week 8 defeat this year where he beat me by 43 points.
And who do I get in week one of the playoffs? That’s right, my very own white whale, Josh Lukin. Fun, sexy, times for me.
Yes another regular season comes to an end. We have final stats for 6 teams and have solidified where our Toilet Bowl will
be residing in 2007 (sorry Brian – but keep hope alive. Of our four previous TB winners, none has missed the playoffs the
following season. And looking at the list of players that will become freed up next year you have Tiki… um, I mean Dominik…
sh*t… ok, Lamont…. d*mn… ok, Steven Jackson. We’ll at least there’s one). Five years and 65 weeks of regular season
games has come to an end. And with the end of the regular season brings us the playoffs! Let’s take a look at our
competitors
#1 Seed: Nomads in the Deep, Navid Sadri
Navid runs into the playoffs just snapping his 9 game win streak – the longest run in ROFF history. During his historic run,
he averaged 136 points per game and outscored opponents by 365 points. All this was even more impressive considering
that he started the season at 1-2, scoring just 73 points in week 3. Navid scored 1,582.22 points this season, clearing the
1,500 mark for the second season in a row.
Navid is certainly the team to beat: His 6-1 playoff record is unmatched and he proudly is the raining two-time Champion.
And his outstanding performance can be attributed to the fact that six of his starters are in the top 50 ROFF Fantasy players
this season (the most of any Playoff team; Nose and Tools are tied for second with five players).
#2 Seed: Nose, Jarrett Blass
For all the joking, you can’t say enough about Nose. Jarrett joined us in 2004, and after struggling in his first season, has
compiled a record of 17-9 over the last two years. Nose joins the playoffs for a second year in a row after beating his
longtime friend and “Batman” to his “Robin,” Five Second Stare. And the kicker is – he get’s him again in Week 1 of the
playoffs.
And don’t overlook the Nose: While he scored the third most points in the league this year, he scored over 100 points in all
but one game this year, only the third player in ROFF history to do that (Lukin in ’04 and Watson in ’05)
#3 Seed: Canton FC, Josh Lukin
While Lukin never strung more than 4 wins together at one time, he also never lost more than one at a time. During this
season, Lukin remained on the top of the heap with a historic record of 39 wins and 26 losses. Additionally his 1,414 points
gave him his third season with 1200 or more points and it puts him in second place lifetime with 6,158.13 points.
For all of Lukin’s success, he remains 1-2 in Playoff games, never going beyond that first round. But with a 5-0 record
against Round 1 opponent Tools, Lukin can keep hope alive that this upcoming weekend could lead to some interesting
results. (as I recall, I talked smack about his D being old… I respect and appreciate them too much now to say that again…
and I am WAY too superstitious)
#4 Seed: Shermtanks, Jason Sherman
Don’t call it a comeback. Actually, go ahead - call it a comeback. Going into the 2005 season Tanks were coming off their
third playoff appearance in as many years, and coming off their second ROFF Bowl loss. Quickly the Tanks crashed, going
3-10, including starting that season 1-8. For the first time in ROFF history, the Tanks missed the playoffs.
But what a difference a year – and LT – make. Welcome back to the playoffs Jason Sherman. This has been an exceptional
year for the Tanks: A 5-1 finish to the season locked him into the playoffs, and his team managed to put together 11 one
hundred point games this season, including the icing on the cake: A Week 9, 192.49 point performance over Born to Run My
Mouth. That performance became the most points ever scored by a team in a single game, beating the old record by almost
30 points. It was truly a marvel.
With 7 playoff games under his belt (the 8th on the way), the Tanks are tied with Nomads for the most playoff games played
by any team. And with three losses, he’s tied with three other teams for the most playoff loses.
#5 Seed: Maryland Fighting Blue Crabs, Gregg Moore
Thank you, Steve Smith. After a season of incredible performances, a mediocre Monday night game gave the Crabs the win
over the Nomads that Gregg desperately needed and pushed him into the playoffs. A great ending to a great last minute run
for the Crabs.
After opening the season 4-1, including three games below 90 points, the Crabs strung together 6 wins in his last 8 games to
push himself into the playoffs. It was especially incredible when you consider that the Crabs had never scored over 123
points as a team going into 2006, and yet scored more than that on three separate occasions during that late season run.
This was also a big season for Moore as he set a franchise record 1,393.65 points, averaging over 100 points per game for
the first season in his career. A lot of thanks go to Marion Barber’s 11 rushing TD’s – third in the league behind Tomlinson
(Tanks) and Johnson (Nomads).
#6 Seed: Baltimore Tools, Marc Epstein
While the Tools won their first game in ‘06, they took a heavy loss. When the only one legitimate QB on his roster – Trent
Green – went down, the Tools had to hunt the waiver wire. And there he was: Chad Pennington. And while his play was all
over the place (-4 point days and 27 point days), Pennington stayed healthy enough to take the Tools to 7-6 and squeak
them into the playoffs.
The Tools started out the season great, going 4-2 until a week 7 loss to Bandits began a three game skid. Luckily, the Tools
picked up three more wins during the last four weeks, enough to place him into the number 6 spot.
The 2006 season continued Epstien’s see-saw with the playoffs, only being able to get in during even years. With only one
post-season win under his belt (over the Moas in ’02), the Tools are looking to make a run into the Playoffs.
#7 Seed: Five Second Stare, Jason Cantor
The only other past Champion in the hunt for the ROFF Bowl V crown, Stare faced a difficult challenge: Win, while being
Gross… more than once.
Yes, our resident pretty boy suffered with a game average of 91, his lowest showing since his rookie season in 2003. But an
easy(ish) schedule to finish out the season allowed him to increase his 5-5 record to 7-6 and squeak into the playoffs to
face… Déjà vu: Nose in the first round. His last opponent is now his first opponent.
And so Five faces Nose one week after being handed defeat by 26 points. He’ll get the re-do most of us want, only this
game will be far more important than the last.
#8 Seed: Brock’s Bandits, Chris Brockman
This feels like an Indiana Jones moment. Brock has just slipped under the door to make it past the guards. Relief sets in.
Life is good. He’s escaped. Then he slowly turns around and finds himself staring into the chest of a big, tall, balding
German bodybuilder. Fear is his only choice.
Except in this scenario, he’s faced this fear before… and lost.
Yes. Bandit’s made it to the playoff after a year that saw him score in the 70’s on four separate occasions – more than any
other Playoff team. And as soon as Brock get’s in, he gets Nomads. Nomads, the same team that handed him a 125 – 107
loss in the ROFF Bowl IV semi-finals. Brock got revenge in his Week 3 win over Nomads this season (77 – 73), but this
would be the ultimate punishment: Beat the reigning Champ and send him packing in Week 1.
Finally, one last food for thought, and this little tidbit comes from an unlikely source: Stephanie, my girlfriend. Yes, the same
girl who once thought “Ruth” in the phrase “The House that Ruth Built” was referring to Ruth, an elderly Jewish lady from
Queens who donated money to the Yankees mentioned this to me: If Scott has made it to the playoffs rather than Brock, it
would be an all New York City playoffs.
If that doesn’t blow your mind, then nothing will.
