you cry (PS – Apparently the car is officially gone. A company called “Cars for Kids” picked it up and will sell it’s parts to
raise money for kids with autism... Crying yet?). Just plain old recaps…
… and this: So this past weekend we celebrated Steph’s parents 30th Anniversary. A lovely time and yet another reason why
I seem to have less and less masculinity left. Anywho, later in the night, we rocked an after party at Casa de Barchi. Now
none of this day would be worth mentioning, except that around 6pm a stranger entered the house. A hot stranger.
For the last year the Barchi’s have housed a foreign exchange student for a month here and there. These girls have ranged
from the homely to fat and lazy. None have been worth mentioning, or worth talking too. But when the latest student –
Rachel (pronounced R-ah-ceh-EL) - entered the house on Sunday, you knew she was something different. Thin, big
breasted, fluent in Spanish, French, and English, and SICKLY HOT. Of course, when your in your girlfriends house, it’s hard
to hit on her parents foreign exchange student. The end of the story is: We have traveled out to Queens every night this
week for dinner with Steph’s parents…
RECAPS!!
Tools Sweat Out A Last Minute Win
Another Monday Night, another “jumping on the bed” moment. Down a mere 7 points going into Monday Night, I had decided
to take it easy. After all, this wouldn’t be an impossible win: I had Mushim Muhammad and the Chicago D going up against
Arizona. ARIZONA! And, heck, as soon as the D took the field, I was going to be up by 3. So I went to the gym (yes,
doubters, I go to the gym now – down 8 pounds in the last 4 weeks) and hopped up on the elliptical bike. A quarter into it, I
was down again as the Bears gave up 14. A quarter later – and an hour of madness on the bike – I was down by 5ish as the
Bears gave up another 6. So I went home, took a shower and plopped myself on the bed. Grossman threw another pick.
Arizona scored another 3. I was livid. So I ate dinner. At 10:30pm. And then it happened. A fumble for a TD for the D, a
stripped ball for a TD, a punt return – my life, possibly my season was changed. I was jumping on the bed, screaming,
yelling and sweating up another storm. I have NO DOUBT that by the end of this season Steph and I are going to need
another bed…
Dorfman May Not Score A Lot, But He Produces the Wins
Got to hand it to Dorf – he’s last in points this year, but he’s produced two straight wins without going over 85 points either
week. This week he can thank Florida for helping him produce: Only Tampa Bay’s Gradkowski’s (there’s a name NOT made
for football) 22, and Miami’s Chambers (15), and Brown (14) really contributed. Luckily for Dorf, Five couldn’t get his team
off the ground, producing his worst day of the year. Bulger was certainly a bright spot – his 31.50 contributing 40% of the
teams points - but everything seemed to fail (Burleson with less than 1, Price with 3.8, and Cedric Benson with 1.8). Dorf’s
win pushes him and Five into the middle of the pack at 3-3, sitting with three other teams.
Crabs Begin to Fight Back
Oh the Crabs. In the first two weeks, the team scores 217 points, and split the games. But then three games followed where
the Crabs couldn’t get to 90 points and they lost each one. This week, the Crabs bounced back in a big way, beating the OC
Beach Ballers 108 to 86 with the help of his amazing WR’s core of Ward (15), Branch (24 – looking like a great pick and
hold) and Johnson (bouncing back with 12 - can I get a "poof"?). If Moore can put together some good trades to upgrade at
the RB position, then this victory – putting him at 2-4 – could put him in a great position to rebound this season and make a
run to the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Ballers lost their second in a row, with a poor showing Westbrook and Jordan (I had such
high hopes for Lamont). Coles 24 was amazing, but unfortunately wasted. The Ballers need to get a win under their belt
soon to beef up that 3-3 record – and they better get some help at QB soon.
labor Avoids Season Without a W
I called Jason on Sunday night to make sure he wasn’t considering jumping. His tone and comments were surprising. “He
had to win sometime,” Jason said, “and no one else could have beaten him this week. With 129, I did all I could do.” Boy did
he – Tomlinson was a monster for the first time this season (40 - remember when this was a regular occurrence), Bledsoe
helped with his 20, and Fast Willie was finally worth more than a few Roeth jokes with 17. But Nick’s team just came alive:
Losman with 19, Brown with 27, Jackson with 16… and on and on and on. In fact, 7 players had over 15 points, and the
other two combined for 19 points. You just a can't say enough about this performance - it was dominating. For Nick’s sake, I
do hope that the team didn’t come alive for this one game and waste all their points in one swoop.
Nose Proves Swami Wrong
I’ll be a big man and admit when I’m wrong. I picked against Nose on the sole reason that going into Saturday he had yet to
fill his empty RB and TE spots. At the last second, he grabbed JJ Arrington and Bo Scaife. While Scaife was only able to
contribute with 1.4, it was Arrington’s 11.20 that was the most impressive: If anyone of us thought there was 11.20 points
available through free agency, we would have definitely grabbed it earlier in the week. Of course the big news out of this
game (except for Nose’s 6th 100 point game, and his season high 145) was the collapse of the unbelievably lucky Bandits:
After winning 3 of 4 games by a just a few points, the Bandits finally succumbed. Brady’s week off gave Roeth a chance to
redeem himself – something he did contributing with 21. Sadly, only Roeth and the Carolina D were able to produce more
than 10 points. The Bandits still remain a strong 4-2, but fall to 5th place with the lowest point total of the top teams.
Worms Can’t Find A Crack
While Brock has had arguably the best luck in the league, Worms have perhaps had the worst: In 4 losses, the team has
scored over 100 points (oddly, 101 three of the times). But in the two games he won, Worms posted a mere 84 and 92.
Parker: Consider benching a few players to keep your score low this week. While Parker dropped to 2-4, Canton extended
his win streak to 2 games thanks in part to Hasselbeck’s return to form (30), Welkers continuing ways (16) and Shockey’s big
day (21).
Nomads Extend the Win Streak
What to say about Navid. What can you say? This year, he stumbled out of the gate, going 1-2 to start the season, before
beating Canton, labor and now NJJ to jump to the top at 4-2 (for those of your interested, he started 2005 with a 4-2 record).
He’s scary, and with his second 135+ point game of the season, I’m downright nervous about the 3-peat. For his part NJJ
tried to enact revenge with McNabb’s 21, Moss’ 10, Johnson’s 14 and Barber's (retiring??) 18. But Nomads wasn’t going to
have it, with Brees, Smith and Owens all contributing 26+ points (and 59% of his teams total). Nomads are scary, but let's
see what the next few weeks hold against the Worms, Nose and the Tools.
Best of luck to everyone this week.
Swami, back down to earth at 3-4 this week, will be have predictions entered by the Saturday night
