Ok, so I totally forgot to do picks this week. It is now 1:36am, Sunday morning. I have two beers, some
bad Indian food, and a small cup of coffee in me. Game on. Let’s DO THIS! First off: Tools vs. Colts. I
love Gregg. Heck, he’s letting be in his wedding (ring barrier, deal is I have to wear it strapped around
my head). But this weekend he’s going down, and no last second deal for Shipp and Arrington is going
to help you (Planning for next year, already?). Tools get .500 in week 4.
PICK: TOOLS
Brick Walls & Trees vs. Five Second Stare
Five Second blew the league up last week with 168 points. LT returns to earth this week vs New
England, while Barlow may see some extra points against Arizona. Meanwhile, BW&T’s has run through
two champs and the commissioner, making him the sole 3-0 team, and the target of all of all teams.
Can he beat another champion? Look for Bulger and Jordan to continue to post double digits. I am
going to let the TE’s decide this week’s choice: Witten at Oakland vs Cooley against Seattle. Atchi-
matchi! Ok, fine… Cooley rocks Seattle and the Walls and Trees win.
PICK: FIVE SECONDS FALL OFF THE WALL
Nose vs. Duckville Quackers
In a last second ploy to beat the dangerous Quackers, Nose grabs Chris Brown (and with Henry out for
four games, and the fact that Brown rushed for triple-digit yardage in both games against the Colts last
season, that’s a damn good move). Brown definitely had my fantasy quote of the week: “I don't know
how it is going to work now, but if coach asks me to carry it 30 times, I'll carry it 30 times." NICE! Look for
Jackson to pound the Giants D, and for Carson Palmer to be… unFREAKINGbelievable. Meanwhile,
Duckville, relishing in their first win this season, looks to make it two in a row. Julious will rack them up
against a week Oak D, and the WR combo of Harrison/Johnson should enjoy good days. But any way
you cut it, Nose wins this one.
PICK: NOSE IS BIGGER THAN BILLS
propaganda vs. New Jersey Jacobins
Nick began 2004 with two wins, and 2005 with two losses. Last week, he looked to end his streak, but
C45 saw to make it three in a row. Now he faces Jacobins who look to get back into the win column.
This week Droughns takes a day off, and TJ Duckett fills in. That could be a huge hit as Droughns has
been worth 12.26 per game. As for propo, he sends Vick back out as Frerotte has a bye week. Vick –
who was worth 11.43 in his only starting appearance for propo in Week 1 – has shown improvement this
year. In addition Baltimore should shine against Bollinger and the NY Jets. That’s the bright side. The
not so bright side – top performer Isaac Bruce is down with turf toe (p*ssy). Jacobins have the muscle
here to take the win.
PICK: JACOBINS TAKE OVER RUSSIA
Nomads in the Deep vs. Blade Brown
Fact: Nomads and Brown are both 2-1 this year. Fact: Brown only has a 18 point lead in the standings.
Fact: Brown has outscored opponents by 60 points, while Nomads has been OUTscored by 0.39
points. Fact: Collins and Hasselbeck are better than we all think. Fact: Dillion vs Holmes and Anderson
vs. Davis isn’t even a close match. Fact: In 2005, TO is great, Steve Smith is better (10 point’s more than
Owens this year). Fact: Nomads will be 3-1 at the end of this week.
PICK: NOMADS BREAK BLADES
Shermtanks vs. Married With Ravens
Ok, so they both have broken down QB’s. Culpepper has 45 points, with 33 (or 73%) of them coming in
week 3. Last year at this time he had 97. Manning, meanwhile has 36 points, with 23 (or 64%) of them
coming in week 1. Last year at this time he had 93. Everyone thought these were the two to have this
year – and that’s why they play the game. Culpepper will suffer again against Atlanta, while Manning
could see some possible stat increases (although who the h*ll knows, right) against Tennessee. Look
for Lewis and Taylor (are you kidding? you are starting BOTH!?) could see some points vs the Jets – but
they will split them, so you are looking at 15 to 18 points total between the two (which I’m sure Sherman
would happily take). Meanwhile McGahee and Foster could have huge days vs. NO and Green Bay
respectively. Oh, and did I mention that for the second year in a row the Tanks are starting a game with a
kicker on a bye? Last year he lost to 5SS stare, scoring a season low 68.79 points. Can’t say this is
going to end any better.
PICK: TANKS CAN’T BREAK UP THIS MARRIAGE
Brock’s Bandits vs. Born To Run My Mouth
Ramsey goes down, cutting Coles productivity down from 25 points in weeks 1 and 2 to 5 in week 3.
Now McNabb is playing injured. Born can always thank goodness for the Caddy (averaging 14 points
per game). Bandits meantime supplies the most exciting QB, WR, RB combo in the league with
Brady/Holt/Alexander and this week vs SD, NYG and Washington respectively, they could all have solid
days. Look for Rudi in Houston to light it up too. And look for Brock to… oh, you know how it goes.
Gentlemen, it is 2:35am, and that is how you do predictions… final thought:
PICK: BANDITS COVER THE MOUTH
