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Five Second Stare vs. Baltimore Tools
I’m taking a lot of heat this week for my Trent Green pick. I’m not saying it’
s unwarranted, but I do want point out some facts and defend myself:
From 2003 thru 2005, Green threw for an average of 4200 yards a
season. In that same time, he averaged twice as many TD’s as he did INT’
s. He also managed a +90 QB rating and maintained a 60%+ completion
rate. Last year his time was cut short early due to a concussion. He
came back later in the 2006 season, but was unable to play in exhibition
games and work into a grove, as he has done in the past. He’s now
working for the offensive genius of Cam Cameron and has one of the
most underrated (and underused) WR’s in Chris Chambers. He’s back
this year and he’s going to help the Phin’s the playoffs, and help the
Tools dominate you fools.
Oh and enjoy Jew Bowl V: In the four previous incarnations, it’s all tied up
2 games to 2. Cantor took the first two, but I have roared back, winning
the last two. It’s on like a Jewformers fight – bloody and kosher!
PICK: TOOLS
New Jersey Jacobins vs. RandomThoughts
A Dave vs. Brian matchup has always provided interesting results,
including Brian’s 2005 145 point performance. This year, the meeting
takes on all new meaning: Dave faces a Tiki-less future while the soon-to-
be unemployed Brian looks to erase the Toilet Bowl performance of 2006
- Ronnie B. and Steven J. should certainly help with that. Throw on a pile
of Philip Rivers and BOOP – I want to scream it from the rooftops…
PICK: BRIAN RETURNS TO THE WIN COLUMN
anti-trust vs. Brock's Bandits
Another great Week 1 matchup that pits the establishment against the
anti-establishment. Brock is coming out of the gate with one lone soldier:
Brady. Hoping that him running past the cheerleaders and into open field
himself will inspire his team to start the season off right. But he’s facing
Nick, who continues to move the teams headquarters in hopes of having
his first +.500 season in team history. Will Korea be the answer? It might
be, but it won’t start here.
PICK: BANDITS BREAK UP THE TRUST
Shermtanks vs. BushMaroney'07
This is ridiculous at this point: Sherman V. Lukin in week 1 too?! Man, I
hope the league isn’t blowing it’s load this early. Lukin has completely
dominated Sherman in the last four years, only losing in year one (by a
measly six points). Since then, Lukin has outscored Sherman by 80
points. In the last two years, Lukin has scored over 130 points on Tank.
But it the streak began in 2003 in a week 1 win. Will this week 1 meeting
turn the tide? I have a feeling it will do just that… Of course, Lukin has
NEVER lost a Week 1 game…
PICK: TANKS TAKE OUT BUSH
I’m taking a lot of heat this week for my Trent Green pick. I’m not saying it’
s unwarranted, but I do want point out some facts and defend myself:
From 2003 thru 2005, Green threw for an average of 4200 yards a
season. In that same time, he averaged twice as many TD’s as he did INT’
s. He also managed a +90 QB rating and maintained a 60%+ completion
rate. Last year his time was cut short early due to a concussion. He
came back later in the 2006 season, but was unable to play in exhibition
games and work into a grove, as he has done in the past. He’s now
working for the offensive genius of Cam Cameron and has one of the
most underrated (and underused) WR’s in Chris Chambers. He’s back
this year and he’s going to help the Phin’s the playoffs, and help the
Tools dominate you fools.
Oh and enjoy Jew Bowl V: In the four previous incarnations, it’s all tied up
2 games to 2. Cantor took the first two, but I have roared back, winning
the last two. It’s on like a Jewformers fight – bloody and kosher!
PICK: TOOLS
New Jersey Jacobins vs. RandomThoughts
A Dave vs. Brian matchup has always provided interesting results,
including Brian’s 2005 145 point performance. This year, the meeting
takes on all new meaning: Dave faces a Tiki-less future while the soon-to-
be unemployed Brian looks to erase the Toilet Bowl performance of 2006
- Ronnie B. and Steven J. should certainly help with that. Throw on a pile
of Philip Rivers and BOOP – I want to scream it from the rooftops…
PICK: BRIAN RETURNS TO THE WIN COLUMN
anti-trust vs. Brock's Bandits
Another great Week 1 matchup that pits the establishment against the
anti-establishment. Brock is coming out of the gate with one lone soldier:
Brady. Hoping that him running past the cheerleaders and into open field
himself will inspire his team to start the season off right. But he’s facing
Nick, who continues to move the teams headquarters in hopes of having
his first +.500 season in team history. Will Korea be the answer? It might
be, but it won’t start here.
PICK: BANDITS BREAK UP THE TRUST
Shermtanks vs. BushMaroney'07
This is ridiculous at this point: Sherman V. Lukin in week 1 too?! Man, I
hope the league isn’t blowing it’s load this early. Lukin has completely
dominated Sherman in the last four years, only losing in year one (by a
measly six points). Since then, Lukin has outscored Sherman by 80
points. In the last two years, Lukin has scored over 130 points on Tank.
But it the streak began in 2003 in a week 1 win. Will this week 1 meeting
turn the tide? I have a feeling it will do just that… Of course, Lukin has
NEVER lost a Week 1 game…
PICK: TANKS TAKE OUT BUSH
Born to Run My Mouth vs. The Next Google
The Mouth vs. Google. Sounds kinky. The team vs. team stats show a
pretty even pairing, with Rich taking 3 of 5 from Watson since the
beginning of the league. But the what that doesn’t mention is that those
three wins came in ’02, ’03, and ’04. Yes, Scott has taken the last two
and completely dominated Rich with 100+ point showings. This year
presents two teams with a lot of question marks: Delhomme? Portis?
Romo? McGahee? So my guess? I’m taking Rich, Alexander and
Housyourmama.
PICK: GOOGLE GETS MOUTHED (SEE – KINKY)
Nose vs. Nomads in the Deep
After the Nomads finished another amazing season in second place, look
for Navid to have hate, anger and blood on his mind in week 1. He’ll want
it even more so since everyone was giving him a hard time for taking so
long on draft weekend. He has a lot to prove: Can he make it back for a
fourth ROFF Bowl? Can he bounce back from 2006’s disappointing loss
against Five? Is a third 10-3 season possible, and did he put together the
right team to do it? Nose, who is 1-4 against the Nomads, faces the
legend in week 1. Does he have enough to take him down? Um, no.
Certainly not with Gore against ‘Zona and Johnson against Houston.
PICK: NOMADS BACK ON TOP
Hungry Horses vs. Fighting Blue Crabs
Giddy up! Crabs vs. Horses – Is there anything better than fantasy? With
a 4-1 record against the Crabs, Parker has not dominated any other
owner as much. BUT, it was an early week last year that saw Moore get
that first win. Could HIS streak now be beginning? Let’s take a look at the
Crabs: Manning, Johnson, Owens – OH MY! But then there is Jones and
Lewis… oh… my… Horses seem to have smoothed even things out with
his team: Westbrook and Addai make up from Branch and Porter. I’ll put it
all on Cutler – Can he be the QB we all think he can be? For week 1, the
answer to me is yes.
PICK: HORSES CRACK THE CRABS
The Mouth vs. Google. Sounds kinky. The team vs. team stats show a
pretty even pairing, with Rich taking 3 of 5 from Watson since the
beginning of the league. But the what that doesn’t mention is that those
three wins came in ’02, ’03, and ’04. Yes, Scott has taken the last two
and completely dominated Rich with 100+ point showings. This year
presents two teams with a lot of question marks: Delhomme? Portis?
Romo? McGahee? So my guess? I’m taking Rich, Alexander and
Housyourmama.
PICK: GOOGLE GETS MOUTHED (SEE – KINKY)
Nose vs. Nomads in the Deep
After the Nomads finished another amazing season in second place, look
for Navid to have hate, anger and blood on his mind in week 1. He’ll want
it even more so since everyone was giving him a hard time for taking so
long on draft weekend. He has a lot to prove: Can he make it back for a
fourth ROFF Bowl? Can he bounce back from 2006’s disappointing loss
against Five? Is a third 10-3 season possible, and did he put together the
right team to do it? Nose, who is 1-4 against the Nomads, faces the
legend in week 1. Does he have enough to take him down? Um, no.
Certainly not with Gore against ‘Zona and Johnson against Houston.
PICK: NOMADS BACK ON TOP
Hungry Horses vs. Fighting Blue Crabs
Giddy up! Crabs vs. Horses – Is there anything better than fantasy? With
a 4-1 record against the Crabs, Parker has not dominated any other
owner as much. BUT, it was an early week last year that saw Moore get
that first win. Could HIS streak now be beginning? Let’s take a look at the
Crabs: Manning, Johnson, Owens – OH MY! But then there is Jones and
Lewis… oh… my… Horses seem to have smoothed even things out with
his team: Westbrook and Addai make up from Branch and Porter. I’ll put it
all on Cutler – Can he be the QB we all think he can be? For week 1, the
answer to me is yes.
PICK: HORSES CRACK THE CRABS