| Week 5 Published October 15 |
QUICK NOTES
HANDSOME (BEAUTIFUL) BRICK WALLS AND TREES (last week: BRICK WALLS AND TREES)
Hard to argue with the numbers. Simply put, Watson and Brock have the best two teams in the league right now.
With Bulger, LaMont and Westbrook (on the bye) Scotty Watts has the nucleus of an undefeated team and while
being at 5-0 is no time to panic Scott has to realize that he is a bit weak at receiver. Reggie Wayne hasn’t played as
well as last year and all his receivers combined have a combined total of 2 TD’s. That might cost him a win come
playoff time.
HOT BROCK’S BANDITS (last week: BROCK’S BANDITS)
What’s scary is that I think Brock’s team could be better (personal preference of mine not to carry two kickers and
two defenses but I’m 2-3, he’s 4-1… so I should shut the fuck up…… now). So far there is no reason not to trust the
Brady/Branch connection and with Alexander/Rudi/McMichael/Holt (Questionable) Brock’s team is TD heavy and that
wins games, in reality and fantasy. On a good day, Brock’s team will eat others alive, nice ass and all.
SEXY NOMADS IN THE DEEP (last week: NOMADS IN THE DEEP)
I know he lost to MwR but I think Navid has the better team. Hasselbeck has played much better this year than he did
last and this Steve Smith guy's is pretty good. Add that Holmes comes off the bye and Warrick is having another
solid first half and the Nomads might have the deepest team in the league… I'm changing my original championship
game pick. Pick #2: Nomads vs. Brock.
GOOD-LOOKING MARRIED WITH RAVENS (last week: MARRIED WITH RAVENS)
Despite the slow start, MwR has really been pouring it on. But I’m not sure how much longer Lukin stays at the top.
Injuries are starting to hurt Josh’s running situation. McGahee has not been as good as anticipated, Parker is losing
ground to Bettis, Foster is hurt and so is Jones and you can add Darrell Jackson to the list of injured players. The
rollercoaster that is Daunte Culpepper’s season resumes on Sunday in Chicago against a pretty good defense.
CUTE COLT .45’S (last week: COLT .45’S)
G. Money has won 3 in a row and things have looked good. But, he has a rough week with a questionable Ward,
Griese and Pearman starting. Gregg doesn't have a single player on his team with a rushing touchdown (KJ had two
last week) so Gregg's deal for JJ and Marcel has to start paying dividends soon or Moore, whether you want to have
sex with him or not, will not make a splash in the playoffs.
ATTRACTIVE NOSE (last week: NEW JERSEY JACOBINS)
The Joe Horn injury is a big deal to Jarrett's team. With Horn, and Boldin (on a bye this week) Jarrett has a great
group of starting wide receivers. Without him, he has to start Mike Williams and Chris Henry. And of course, Jarrett
takes a shot at Ricky Williams this week, which could be the key to his season. If Ricky has a big role in the Fins
offense, Jarrett's team moves straight to hotness.
DECENT BALTIMORE TOOLS (last week: NOSE)
The commish deservedly gets back on the winning side of things. With a mini-breakout by Curtis, M.E. might be
making a mid-season run. His wide outs are mostly injured, but if he can stay in it, Moss, Smith, Engram, and
Williams combine for a good group of guys. Big Ben is out this week but he has been consistently a better play than
Trent Green but Green's a nice back-up even though he has a tough defense this week in D.C. Look for the Tools
to stay in it till the end.
EH NEW JERSEY JACOBINS (last week: BLADE BROWN)
The only disappointing thing I've noticed about Dave's team is Tony G. (primed to have a breakout week against the
hottest GM in the league) Jerramy Stevens has been just about twice as good. Droughns has been a nice fill-in but I
think Dave's running back situation will clear up in a couple of weeks when we find out more about Bettis and if Dunn
gets his "every other year injury."
NOT INTERESTED SHERMTANKS (last week: BALTIMORE TOOLS)
Looks like we can't bury the Tanks just yet. They had two good weeks in a row and now have a viable running back
threat in KJ. Add the "what if's" of Manning and Lewis and Sherman has a dangerous team week in, week out. Mix in
a revitalized T. Glenn, a consistent Mason, and an effective Brandon Lloyd the second best looking Jay in the entire
League could turn his season around.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME BLADE BROWN (last week: DUCKVILLE QUACKERS)
B. Young had a rough week in fantasy and reality football. Reality-wise he broke a foot. Fantasy-wise he lost to
Nick. Still unclear is which one was more painful. It doesn't get much better this week, despite the return of Kerry
Collins, T.O. gets the bye which means his wide receivers take a big hit and the Ricky Williams effect hits Blade hard
too as Ronnie Brown rides the bench in week 6.
NOT GOOD LOOKING DUCKVILLE QUACKERS (last week: FIVE SECOND STARE)
It's hard to totally judge Parker's team just yet… the deal that brought in McNabb instantly makes him a ton better
than it was in weeks 1-5. This week however Parker has to start Stecker over Jones and Plummer over McNabb and
Andre Johnson is the biggest bust of the season. In 3 weeks will have a much better idea if the people in Duckville
are cheering.
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION FIVE SECOND STARE (last week: BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH)
Eh… there's room for I hope I suppose… if Tatum Bell can take the ball and run with it… the combination of Bell and
L.T. might carry me to the playoffs. Until I get consistent play from Bell and Leftwich and proof that Galloway can do
this all season long my team will be stuck in the middle of nowhere. Oh, Burleson over Favre? Brilliant!
IF I WAS BLIND BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH (last week: SHERMTANKS)
It's tough to judge Kiss's team. Like he said, he's had limited internet access and it has certainly affected his team.
In fact, there should be an asterisk if he "wins" the toilet bowl award (which I've just given to myself). Truth be told,
despite the ranking, I like Kiss's team. The Eli Manning era (great pick) begins and now he has to solid backs in
Taylor and Cadillac (with Green on the bench) and a touchdown maker in McCardell… watch out for Kiss for the rest
of the season.
GROSS PROPAGANDA (last week: PROPAGANDA)
Congrats to Nick for picking up his first win of the year. But it's bittersweet for Nick, his best player is out for the year
and Michael Vick is being all, you know, Michael Vick. The other JJ? Joe Jurevicius might carry Nick's team to a few
more wins. Wait, I didn't mean that.
- Congratulations to the winners of week 5
- Quote of the week, in honor of the return of hockey “Now that was a crime, you purse grabbing pukes! And
this is the penalty! Two minutes for slashing. Two minutes for hooking. And let's not forget my personal
favorite, two minutes for high sticking!” – Casey Jones “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” - The Good Looking Quote of Last Week: “Nate Burleson (remember him?) returns in week 6”
- I just saw the trailer to Harry Potter 4 and I shit myself
- Happy Birthday PK!
- I will never admit that any of you are better looking then me.
HANDSOME (BEAUTIFUL) BRICK WALLS AND TREES (last week: BRICK WALLS AND TREES)
Hard to argue with the numbers. Simply put, Watson and Brock have the best two teams in the league right now.
With Bulger, LaMont and Westbrook (on the bye) Scotty Watts has the nucleus of an undefeated team and while
being at 5-0 is no time to panic Scott has to realize that he is a bit weak at receiver. Reggie Wayne hasn’t played as
well as last year and all his receivers combined have a combined total of 2 TD’s. That might cost him a win come
playoff time.
HOT BROCK’S BANDITS (last week: BROCK’S BANDITS)
What’s scary is that I think Brock’s team could be better (personal preference of mine not to carry two kickers and
two defenses but I’m 2-3, he’s 4-1… so I should shut the fuck up…… now). So far there is no reason not to trust the
Brady/Branch connection and with Alexander/Rudi/McMichael/Holt (Questionable) Brock’s team is TD heavy and that
wins games, in reality and fantasy. On a good day, Brock’s team will eat others alive, nice ass and all.
SEXY NOMADS IN THE DEEP (last week: NOMADS IN THE DEEP)
I know he lost to MwR but I think Navid has the better team. Hasselbeck has played much better this year than he did
last and this Steve Smith guy's is pretty good. Add that Holmes comes off the bye and Warrick is having another
solid first half and the Nomads might have the deepest team in the league… I'm changing my original championship
game pick. Pick #2: Nomads vs. Brock.
GOOD-LOOKING MARRIED WITH RAVENS (last week: MARRIED WITH RAVENS)
Despite the slow start, MwR has really been pouring it on. But I’m not sure how much longer Lukin stays at the top.
Injuries are starting to hurt Josh’s running situation. McGahee has not been as good as anticipated, Parker is losing
ground to Bettis, Foster is hurt and so is Jones and you can add Darrell Jackson to the list of injured players. The
rollercoaster that is Daunte Culpepper’s season resumes on Sunday in Chicago against a pretty good defense.
CUTE COLT .45’S (last week: COLT .45’S)
G. Money has won 3 in a row and things have looked good. But, he has a rough week with a questionable Ward,
Griese and Pearman starting. Gregg doesn't have a single player on his team with a rushing touchdown (KJ had two
last week) so Gregg's deal for JJ and Marcel has to start paying dividends soon or Moore, whether you want to have
sex with him or not, will not make a splash in the playoffs.
ATTRACTIVE NOSE (last week: NEW JERSEY JACOBINS)
The Joe Horn injury is a big deal to Jarrett's team. With Horn, and Boldin (on a bye this week) Jarrett has a great
group of starting wide receivers. Without him, he has to start Mike Williams and Chris Henry. And of course, Jarrett
takes a shot at Ricky Williams this week, which could be the key to his season. If Ricky has a big role in the Fins
offense, Jarrett's team moves straight to hotness.
DECENT BALTIMORE TOOLS (last week: NOSE)
The commish deservedly gets back on the winning side of things. With a mini-breakout by Curtis, M.E. might be
making a mid-season run. His wide outs are mostly injured, but if he can stay in it, Moss, Smith, Engram, and
Williams combine for a good group of guys. Big Ben is out this week but he has been consistently a better play than
Trent Green but Green's a nice back-up even though he has a tough defense this week in D.C. Look for the Tools
to stay in it till the end.
EH NEW JERSEY JACOBINS (last week: BLADE BROWN)
The only disappointing thing I've noticed about Dave's team is Tony G. (primed to have a breakout week against the
hottest GM in the league) Jerramy Stevens has been just about twice as good. Droughns has been a nice fill-in but I
think Dave's running back situation will clear up in a couple of weeks when we find out more about Bettis and if Dunn
gets his "every other year injury."
NOT INTERESTED SHERMTANKS (last week: BALTIMORE TOOLS)
Looks like we can't bury the Tanks just yet. They had two good weeks in a row and now have a viable running back
threat in KJ. Add the "what if's" of Manning and Lewis and Sherman has a dangerous team week in, week out. Mix in
a revitalized T. Glenn, a consistent Mason, and an effective Brandon Lloyd the second best looking Jay in the entire
League could turn his season around.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME BLADE BROWN (last week: DUCKVILLE QUACKERS)
B. Young had a rough week in fantasy and reality football. Reality-wise he broke a foot. Fantasy-wise he lost to
Nick. Still unclear is which one was more painful. It doesn't get much better this week, despite the return of Kerry
Collins, T.O. gets the bye which means his wide receivers take a big hit and the Ricky Williams effect hits Blade hard
too as Ronnie Brown rides the bench in week 6.
NOT GOOD LOOKING DUCKVILLE QUACKERS (last week: FIVE SECOND STARE)
It's hard to totally judge Parker's team just yet… the deal that brought in McNabb instantly makes him a ton better
than it was in weeks 1-5. This week however Parker has to start Stecker over Jones and Plummer over McNabb and
Andre Johnson is the biggest bust of the season. In 3 weeks will have a much better idea if the people in Duckville
are cheering.
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION FIVE SECOND STARE (last week: BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH)
Eh… there's room for I hope I suppose… if Tatum Bell can take the ball and run with it… the combination of Bell and
L.T. might carry me to the playoffs. Until I get consistent play from Bell and Leftwich and proof that Galloway can do
this all season long my team will be stuck in the middle of nowhere. Oh, Burleson over Favre? Brilliant!
IF I WAS BLIND BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH (last week: SHERMTANKS)
It's tough to judge Kiss's team. Like he said, he's had limited internet access and it has certainly affected his team.
In fact, there should be an asterisk if he "wins" the toilet bowl award (which I've just given to myself). Truth be told,
despite the ranking, I like Kiss's team. The Eli Manning era (great pick) begins and now he has to solid backs in
Taylor and Cadillac (with Green on the bench) and a touchdown maker in McCardell… watch out for Kiss for the rest
of the season.
GROSS PROPAGANDA (last week: PROPAGANDA)
Congrats to Nick for picking up his first win of the year. But it's bittersweet for Nick, his best player is out for the year
and Michael Vick is being all, you know, Michael Vick. The other JJ? Joe Jurevicius might carry Nick's team to a few
more wins. Wait, I didn't mean that.
