| 2006 ROFF Draft Published August 29 |
QUICK NOTES
- It is my pleasure to write my annual
good looking draft review. - Don’t let the short hair fool you, I’m
still better looking than you.
HANDSOME - OC BEACH BALLERS Having the benefit of keeping two solid running backs,
Scott spent the rest of the draft rounding out his squad. He did a good job of it. With Coles
and Moss he has two #1 wide receivers and Reggie Wayne is better than both of them. He
took a chance on Culpepper but that could, and I think will, pay huge dividends for the baller.
Pre-season favorite: Scotty Watts.
HOT - INCHING WORMS An absolute pleasure drafting next to Parker (and yes, this will be
a massive suck-off paragraph). Parker and I were in similar spots, both keeping two wide
receivers (though my pair is no where near as good as his). Already having two stud wide
outs, Parker rounded out his running back situation with Edge, Green, and a low risk/high
reward Joe Addai. He added two more number one receivers in Horn and Bryant and a steal
TE in Randy McMichael. Typical of PK teams, his Quarterback is a weak spot. ROFFL
BOWL IV - OC BEACH BALLERS vs. INCHING WORMS.
SEXY - NOSE It's a lot of people's worst nightmare: Jarrett Blass has a very, very good team.
Jarrett was talking about keeping Palmer and Jackson for months before he realized that
Boldin was the better keeper. Things worked out even better with Blass getting the
Quarterback with perhaps the biggest cock in all of football. Palmer's 3 touchdown
performance against Green Boy should make my boy feel pretty good. His wide receiver
contingency has two guys who could conceivably catch 100 balls this year and now Donte
Stallworth is a true #1 in Philly. As usual with a Blass controlled team, his weak spot is depth
in the RB position. If Dillon goes down, expect Torry Holt to be on the trading block.
GOOD-LOOKING - NOMADS IN THE DEEP Our reigning champ might have gotten a bit
cocky. Relying on the fact that you only need running backs and wide receivers to win in
ROFF, Navid stuck with yellow and green until the 10th round. Although Navid might have
the best wide out and running back in the league he is weak at Tight End and at
Quarterback. Drew Brees broke his shoulder and I expect a Chad Pennington type year
from him. Navid took a lot of chances, if Frank Gore pans out (does the opposite of Barlow),
if Owens plays, if Rhodes plays, if Rod Smith doesn't break a hip, the champ's team is very
deep at the two most important positions. I just think it would have served him better to draft
a better quarterback instead of both Rhodes and Brown.
CUTE - NEW JERSEY JACOBINS The third member of our league to commit relationship
suicide had a very underrated draft (over shadowed by that ridiculous Tight End 2-pher). I
figured he would keep Droughns over Randy Moss, but I think things worked out very well for
Dave. Julius Jones could be a steal and Andre Johnson will have a serious bounce back
year. Of course we all know Dave has at least one good tight end (and good depth at that
position too) but his problem could be depth in wide receiver and running back. He has no
real 3rd wide out on his team and no real good back up running back for Jones or Barber.
ATTRACTIVE - FIGHTING BLUE CRABS Peyton Manning was hand fed to G. Money and he
took the bait. The problem with Gregg's team is that it's filled with question marks. Jamal
Lewis might not start in the opener and DeAngelo Williams (though with a ton of upside) is
not going to start in Carolina until Foster gets injured. Williams reminds me a bit of Tatum
Bell last year. Deion Branch could end up as a major steal but I think Gregg jumped the gun
on homer pick Chris Cooley, whether you want to have sex with him or not.
DECENT - FIVE SECOND STARE Hey guys, what's up? So It's no secret that I had the worst
keepers In the history of the ROFFL. At this particular moment in time (8/29 - 7:52pm) I am
convinced I made the right two choices. I had to deal with passing on Manning but now I
have 3 starting running backs (Droughns, McAllister, and Taylor) and a major question mark
(Benson). My wide receivers are all above average and I got the one I really wanted
(Edwards). Last year, the quarterback position really hurt me and this year I upgraded with
Bulger and Favre. Considering the situation I started with, I have absolutely no problems
with my draft, even the Benson pick.
EH - DORFMAN Not surprisingly, Brian had a shitty draft. This kid has no clue how to do
this stuff. Just ask him, he'll tell you. Brian was in good shape headed into the draft by
holding on to two starting running backs and picked an absolute stud in Chambers. I can
understand the reason behind picking Kevin Jones but with so much talent at wide receiver I
think Brian really missed an opportunity to beef up his wide receivers, or get Carson Palmer.
His wide outs take a huge drop off after Chambers and I'm thinking Simms will be starting for
Dorfman before too long. Will Wali Lundy start in week one? It's looking very possible.
NOT INTERESTED - CANTON FC Not surprisingly, Josh Lukin is relying on young boys. If
Reggie Bush is the Reggie Bush from USC, I am totally wrong about this rating. If Laurence
Maroney can become as good as I think he can become, Lukin might have the two best
keepers in the league next year. But the fact is Lukin only has one starting running back on
his team. Hasselbeck was a nice pick at QB and I think Derrick Mason will have a great year
with McNair, but his other wide receivers lack bite.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME - BROCK'S BANDITS Brock Landers, and his smoking hot
ass, was in a good situation coming into this year's draft and drafted a fine set of receivers in
the 4th and 5th round with Plaxico and Mr. Drew Bennett. I do question the Thomas Jones
pick in the first round. Not because I'm really rooting for Benson to be starting by week 3,
but with starters like Julius Jones, Kevin Jones and Frank Gore available, I think he took the
wrong Jones. Ben Watson could be a solid sleeper pick and Carolina could have the
strongest D in the league.
NOT GOOD LOOKING - BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH Kiss had the easiest pick in draft,
taking the running back that Jason didn't. Hard not to like a team that has Cadillac,
Alexander and E. Manning right? Two words: Keenan and McCardell. The TJ pick is good
but I think Kiss screwed himself a bit in the middle rounds and his little to no depth at any
position. If injuries happen to Kiss's team, even he'll tell you that he's screwed.
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION - BALTIMORE TOOLS Is it fair to beat up on our Commish? It is
when you draft Kelly Holcomb. Though I agree with keeping Taylor and drafting Portis, I
don't agree with leaving them as your only two RB's. If Portis is not ready or gets re-injured,
Marc be fucked. I think Roy Williams will have a huge year this season but I said the same
thing about Nate Burleson last year (oh, and this year). Marc does have the one sure
defense to pick in Chicago but he did draft Kelly Holcomb and I'll repeat that, Kelly Holcomb.
IF I WAS BLIND - labor power Nick's team got a shot in the arm simply because Nick was
here this year. The big problem now is that Dominick Davis might not be playing at all this
year. Word has it that Davis is one step away of being released by the Texans. This means
Nick's biggest problem is depth at the RB position. He does have two starters in Dunn and
Barlow (even though Kevan Barlow remains to be Kevan Barlow) so Davis must get healthy.
Nick has the best Tight End but is still weak at wide out. All the receivers have question
marks, whether it's injury or playing time. Sleeper pick, Eric Moulds.
GROSS - SHERMTANKS I'm sorta fueling the fire here. Jay will use this as motivation to
fulfill the prophecy and go worst to first. However, I really didn't love his draft. I think Walker
and Parker were the right choices and of course, LT was a no brainer. But I don't like the
Matt Jones pick and literally 3 hours before draft, ESPN told us that you should not touch
Tony Gonzalez in the 4th or 5th round, and I just don't think Givens and Williamson will thrive
in tough quarterback environments. Jay already got hit with the injury bug with Greg Jones.
That said; people who pick first in our draft generally have good seasons. No team has
missed the playoffs after winning the Toilet Bowl the year before.
Scott spent the rest of the draft rounding out his squad. He did a good job of it. With Coles
and Moss he has two #1 wide receivers and Reggie Wayne is better than both of them. He
took a chance on Culpepper but that could, and I think will, pay huge dividends for the baller.
Pre-season favorite: Scotty Watts.
HOT - INCHING WORMS An absolute pleasure drafting next to Parker (and yes, this will be
a massive suck-off paragraph). Parker and I were in similar spots, both keeping two wide
receivers (though my pair is no where near as good as his). Already having two stud wide
outs, Parker rounded out his running back situation with Edge, Green, and a low risk/high
reward Joe Addai. He added two more number one receivers in Horn and Bryant and a steal
TE in Randy McMichael. Typical of PK teams, his Quarterback is a weak spot. ROFFL
BOWL IV - OC BEACH BALLERS vs. INCHING WORMS.
SEXY - NOSE It's a lot of people's worst nightmare: Jarrett Blass has a very, very good team.
Jarrett was talking about keeping Palmer and Jackson for months before he realized that
Boldin was the better keeper. Things worked out even better with Blass getting the
Quarterback with perhaps the biggest cock in all of football. Palmer's 3 touchdown
performance against Green Boy should make my boy feel pretty good. His wide receiver
contingency has two guys who could conceivably catch 100 balls this year and now Donte
Stallworth is a true #1 in Philly. As usual with a Blass controlled team, his weak spot is depth
in the RB position. If Dillon goes down, expect Torry Holt to be on the trading block.
GOOD-LOOKING - NOMADS IN THE DEEP Our reigning champ might have gotten a bit
cocky. Relying on the fact that you only need running backs and wide receivers to win in
ROFF, Navid stuck with yellow and green until the 10th round. Although Navid might have
the best wide out and running back in the league he is weak at Tight End and at
Quarterback. Drew Brees broke his shoulder and I expect a Chad Pennington type year
from him. Navid took a lot of chances, if Frank Gore pans out (does the opposite of Barlow),
if Owens plays, if Rhodes plays, if Rod Smith doesn't break a hip, the champ's team is very
deep at the two most important positions. I just think it would have served him better to draft
a better quarterback instead of both Rhodes and Brown.
CUTE - NEW JERSEY JACOBINS The third member of our league to commit relationship
suicide had a very underrated draft (over shadowed by that ridiculous Tight End 2-pher). I
figured he would keep Droughns over Randy Moss, but I think things worked out very well for
Dave. Julius Jones could be a steal and Andre Johnson will have a serious bounce back
year. Of course we all know Dave has at least one good tight end (and good depth at that
position too) but his problem could be depth in wide receiver and running back. He has no
real 3rd wide out on his team and no real good back up running back for Jones or Barber.
ATTRACTIVE - FIGHTING BLUE CRABS Peyton Manning was hand fed to G. Money and he
took the bait. The problem with Gregg's team is that it's filled with question marks. Jamal
Lewis might not start in the opener and DeAngelo Williams (though with a ton of upside) is
not going to start in Carolina until Foster gets injured. Williams reminds me a bit of Tatum
Bell last year. Deion Branch could end up as a major steal but I think Gregg jumped the gun
on homer pick Chris Cooley, whether you want to have sex with him or not.
DECENT - FIVE SECOND STARE Hey guys, what's up? So It's no secret that I had the worst
keepers In the history of the ROFFL. At this particular moment in time (8/29 - 7:52pm) I am
convinced I made the right two choices. I had to deal with passing on Manning but now I
have 3 starting running backs (Droughns, McAllister, and Taylor) and a major question mark
(Benson). My wide receivers are all above average and I got the one I really wanted
(Edwards). Last year, the quarterback position really hurt me and this year I upgraded with
Bulger and Favre. Considering the situation I started with, I have absolutely no problems
with my draft, even the Benson pick.
EH - DORFMAN Not surprisingly, Brian had a shitty draft. This kid has no clue how to do
this stuff. Just ask him, he'll tell you. Brian was in good shape headed into the draft by
holding on to two starting running backs and picked an absolute stud in Chambers. I can
understand the reason behind picking Kevin Jones but with so much talent at wide receiver I
think Brian really missed an opportunity to beef up his wide receivers, or get Carson Palmer.
His wide outs take a huge drop off after Chambers and I'm thinking Simms will be starting for
Dorfman before too long. Will Wali Lundy start in week one? It's looking very possible.
NOT INTERESTED - CANTON FC Not surprisingly, Josh Lukin is relying on young boys. If
Reggie Bush is the Reggie Bush from USC, I am totally wrong about this rating. If Laurence
Maroney can become as good as I think he can become, Lukin might have the two best
keepers in the league next year. But the fact is Lukin only has one starting running back on
his team. Hasselbeck was a nice pick at QB and I think Derrick Mason will have a great year
with McNair, but his other wide receivers lack bite.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME - BROCK'S BANDITS Brock Landers, and his smoking hot
ass, was in a good situation coming into this year's draft and drafted a fine set of receivers in
the 4th and 5th round with Plaxico and Mr. Drew Bennett. I do question the Thomas Jones
pick in the first round. Not because I'm really rooting for Benson to be starting by week 3,
but with starters like Julius Jones, Kevin Jones and Frank Gore available, I think he took the
wrong Jones. Ben Watson could be a solid sleeper pick and Carolina could have the
strongest D in the league.
NOT GOOD LOOKING - BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH Kiss had the easiest pick in draft,
taking the running back that Jason didn't. Hard not to like a team that has Cadillac,
Alexander and E. Manning right? Two words: Keenan and McCardell. The TJ pick is good
but I think Kiss screwed himself a bit in the middle rounds and his little to no depth at any
position. If injuries happen to Kiss's team, even he'll tell you that he's screwed.
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION - BALTIMORE TOOLS Is it fair to beat up on our Commish? It is
when you draft Kelly Holcomb. Though I agree with keeping Taylor and drafting Portis, I
don't agree with leaving them as your only two RB's. If Portis is not ready or gets re-injured,
Marc be fucked. I think Roy Williams will have a huge year this season but I said the same
thing about Nate Burleson last year (oh, and this year). Marc does have the one sure
defense to pick in Chicago but he did draft Kelly Holcomb and I'll repeat that, Kelly Holcomb.
IF I WAS BLIND - labor power Nick's team got a shot in the arm simply because Nick was
here this year. The big problem now is that Dominick Davis might not be playing at all this
year. Word has it that Davis is one step away of being released by the Texans. This means
Nick's biggest problem is depth at the RB position. He does have two starters in Dunn and
Barlow (even though Kevan Barlow remains to be Kevan Barlow) so Davis must get healthy.
Nick has the best Tight End but is still weak at wide out. All the receivers have question
marks, whether it's injury or playing time. Sleeper pick, Eric Moulds.
GROSS - SHERMTANKS I'm sorta fueling the fire here. Jay will use this as motivation to
fulfill the prophecy and go worst to first. However, I really didn't love his draft. I think Walker
and Parker were the right choices and of course, LT was a no brainer. But I don't like the
Matt Jones pick and literally 3 hours before draft, ESPN told us that you should not touch
Tony Gonzalez in the 4th or 5th round, and I just don't think Givens and Williamson will thrive
in tough quarterback environments. Jay already got hit with the injury bug with Greg Jones.
That said; people who pick first in our draft generally have good seasons. No team has
missed the playoffs after winning the Toilet Bowl the year before.
