Week 12
Published November 28
QUICK NOTES
  1. Great movie you might not have seen, “Roger Dodger”
  2. Next review is looking like “The Fountain” or “Bobby”
  3. This column will have a bit of a twist.  In the attractive colors I’ll name reasons why your team is doing well.  In the
    unattractive colors, I’ll name reasons your team is performing poorly.
  4. New favorite song, “When Your Heart Stops Beating” by Plus 44
  5. What are you more upset about?  Kid Rock and Pamela, or Hillary Duff and Joel Madden (from Good Charlotte)?
  6. One more week to go fellas, good luck to everyone.
  7. I’m still better looking than all of you.


HANDSOME - NOMADS IN THE DEEP  The entire roster.  No one on the entire roster.

HOT - SHERMTANKS   LDT, "Fast" Willie Parker, Javon Walker.  Drew Bledsoe, Matt Jones.

SEXY - NOSE   Anquan Boldin, Torry Holt, Steven Jackson.  Corey Dillon, kickers in general.

GOOD-LOOKING - CANTON FC  Baltimore's Defense, Laurence Maroney, Wesley Welker.  Derrick
Mason, marriage in general.

CUTE - FIGHTING BLUE CRABS Peyton Manning, Chad Johnson, Robbie Gould.  Jamal Lewis,
Deion Branch, marriage in general.

ATTRACTIVE - BALTIMORE TOOLS Clinton Portis, Roy Williams, Chicago's Defense.  Trent Green,
Chad Pennington.

DECENT - OC BEACH BALLERS Brian Westbrook, Laveranues Coles, Reggie Wayne.  Trading
Reggie Wayne, Daunte Culpepper, Lamont Jordan, Santana Moss.

EH - FIVE SECOND STARE Rueben "fucking" Droughns, Cedric "fucking" Benson, Nate "fucking"
Burleson.  Donald Driver, Marc Bulger, Deuce McAllister.

NOT INTERESTED - labor power - Dominick Davis, Jake Delhomme, Kevin Jones.  Trading Kevin
Jones, Reggie Wayne, Tony Romo, Darrell Jackson.

IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME - BROCK'S BANDITS Drew Bennett, Rudi Johnson.  Tom Brady,
Benjamin Watson.

NOT GOOD LOOKING - NEW JERSEY JACOBINS Randy Moss, Neil Rackers, Julius Jones, Alge
Crumpler AND Jason Witten, engagement in general.  Donovan McNabb, Andre Johnson, Tiki
Barber, Alge Crumpler.

ONLY FOR $1 MILLION - INCHING WORMS John Kitna, Byron Leftwich, Edgerrin James.  Marvin
Harrison, Joesph Addai

IF I WAS BLIND - BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH Shaun Alexander, Eli Manning, Carnell Williams,
Keenan McCardell.  Marques Colston, Jericho Cotchery.

GROSS - DORFMAN Chris Chambers,  Ronnie Brown, DeShaun Foster, Kevin Jones, dropping Wali
Lundy.  Trading Kevin Jones, picking up Jay Cutler.