| Week 2 Published September 19 |
QUICK NOTES
- Sorry about last week, did you miss me?
- I saw a girl on the subway today that reminded me of Marc Schlareth and thought she was terribly attractive,
what does this say about me? - As you can tell from my Draft Preview, I don’t know shit about fantasy football, why are you reading this?
- If you think that I didn’t write a column last week because I was so emotionally distraught about last week?
Well, you know me too well. - New favorite song: “When You Were Young” – The Killers.
- I’m still better looking than all of you.
HANDSOME - CANTON FC This will not be like the year Lukin clearly had the best team in
the league (he didn't win the title that year by the way). I don't think any team is a run away
favorite this year, despite what Jason wants to believe. I do think Lukin's team has the most
balance. A stud back in McGahee and a back that will rack up the points no matter his stats,
Bush. He's got a receiver that will pile the receptions (Mason) and one that will pile the
return yards (Welker). Plus he has potential gold mine Laurence Maroney riding his bench
just waiting for the week he can score 3 TD's for nothing.
HOT - FIGHTING BLUE CRABS The Blue Crabs was a close second for me. G Money, and
his lovely ass, has the best quarterback and 2 absolute stud receivers. DeAngelo Williams
will be a keeper and will probably finish with a solid year but as of right now, Lewis and
Williams don't scare me as much as McGahee and Bush. The Cooley pick is looking more
like a reach, but Gregg won't have many weaknesses until he trades someone.
SEXY - SHERMTANKS I know he wanted to be the handsome one but I'm not totally sold on
his team yet (though he has to be pleased with a jump from gross to sexy, the equivalent of 9
beers per hour). I'm man enough to say this, I was wrong about his draft. Though Drew
Bledsoe will be a problem all year, he still has the BEST running back in football, LDT, and
that alone is 5 wins this season. Walker, Williamson, and Jones make an intriguing trio of
wide outs but I'm starting to believe in it, especially Williamson. Worst to first? Not yet.
GOOD-LOOKING - NOMADS IN THE DEEP The two-time defending champ has to deal with
what Jets fans have been dealing with the past 4 years, Herman Edwards. So long Larry
Johnson's career. So far Navid has had a stretch of bad luck with LJ's life flashing before
our eyes and Steve Smith's hamstrings doing the same. BUT, he did draft Frank Gore and
Terry Glenn's numbers will probably increase with Owens out for 2-4 weeks.
CUTE - NOSE The Nose knows wide receivers. He starts the best three in the league. As
soon as someone tells Dante Stallworth there are two halves in a football game, JB's team
can really take off. Steven Jackson has been piling up yards, but has yet to find the end
zone and I know this is making Blass worried. Top to bottom, Jarrett has one of the most
balanced teams in the league.
ATTRACTIVE - BROCK'S BANDITS "We draft winners here." One of my favorite lines
during the draft was spoken by Brock and whether you want to have sex with him or not, he
stuck to his guns. Brock might be a bit worried with Brady's shaky play or Thomas Jones
ineffectiveness but he won last week on Rudi's legs and on Drew's whiteness. A lot of
Brock's season depends on Thomas Jones though because of his lack of depth at the RB
position. If Jones can play like it's '05, look for the double B's to move up the good-looking-o-
meter.
DECENT - OC BEACH BALLERS One of the teams I picked to be in the finals has seen a
fall in the Good Looking standings. But the combination of Culpepper and Lamont Jordan
will do that to you. Now Scott has to deal with a Denver RB (good luck) and, well, Daunte
Culpepper. Then again, you're playing me this week, so 2-1 is a good start. By the way,
good luck.
EH - BALTIMORE TOOLS I've been pretty impressed with Marc's team and it will only get
better when Portis starts playing (week 3). Chester Taylor was clearly a good choice as a
keeper and Marc is pretty good at wide out (with the exception of the wasted pick that was
Lee Evans). Marc also boasts one of only two Defenses that can really change the course
of a week. Canton FC has the other one. I was dead wrong about Marc's draft.
NOT INTERESTED - NEW JERSEY JACOBINS How could a team be 2-0 and be this
unattractive? I'm not totally sure, maybe it has to do with the fact that Dave broke the only
rule we in the Good Looking Tribe have, never get engaged. Donovan McNabb is carrying
the team as Dave isn't getting the production he wanted out of Jones and Barber. It also
looks like the Jersey folk is weak at wide out with Moss, McCariens, and Andre Johnson
which doesn't sound like it should be weak, but is. On the bright side, he can start Alge
Crumpler this week for Jason Witten, who is on a bye.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME - BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH The Madden Curse?
Maybe, but Shaun Alexander and Cadillac Williams are looking a bit shitty so far this
season. Eli has been good but this week Kiss is relying on the oft injured TJ Housh, and two
major sleepers at wide out. If things play out right with these two wide receivers, Kiss's
fortunes can change drastically. Oh, and I'll see you at Mardi Gras.
NOT GOOD LOOKING - INCHING WORMS PK GM's the other team I felt was going to the
finals. Sure, it's way too early to throw in the towel, but I am a bit discouraged with the way
his team is performing (so I imagine he is even more upset). Edge was clearly the pick PK
had to make, but it's looking like maybe Peyton Manning would have been the smarter move
(so you could imagine how I feel). Parker has the best wide receiver trio in the league if
we're basing things on names, but none of them have scored a TD this season. I feel a turn
around coming for the Worms though, which brings us to….
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION - DORFMAN It's automatic that B. Yeung is going to outsmart
himself every year. The assassin picked two guys that had to be written in. Both had high
expectations coming into the season and now both are not on the team. Like most of us,
Brian is having a tough time at running back but I think the Eric Moulds will bolster his wide
receivers. When are people going to realize that Kevin Jones is not very good? I would
never count out Yeung.
IF I WAS BLIND - FIVE SECOND STARE Oh man did I not want to talk about Fantasy
Football last week. I was so upset about that Droughns pick that I sat him this week (he
obviously scored a TD). But I'm starting to feel a bit better about my squad now. I feel
comfortable starting Taylor and McAllister for the time being and it was encouraging to see
Galloway to catch a pass (9 of them actually) and Driver to stay alive. I'm hoping that Bulger
can get on track with this new offense. If he does, I'd feel a whole lot better about my squad,
and be a whole lot better looking.
GROSS - labor power There has to be a bottom man so why not this limey bastard. I do
not think Kevin Jones is good. BUT, he is better than Ron Dayne and Kevan Barlow, I know
this. That was a nice trade by Nick to acquire KJ. Nick got an encouraging week from Darrell
Jackson but the Communist still has a lot of eggs in Jake Delhomme's basket, a touchdown-
less basket. I'm rooting for the world traveler, because I won't play him again unless it's in
week 13-16. And if we learned anything from last year it's that you CANNOT count this man
out.
the league (he didn't win the title that year by the way). I don't think any team is a run away
favorite this year, despite what Jason wants to believe. I do think Lukin's team has the most
balance. A stud back in McGahee and a back that will rack up the points no matter his stats,
Bush. He's got a receiver that will pile the receptions (Mason) and one that will pile the
return yards (Welker). Plus he has potential gold mine Laurence Maroney riding his bench
just waiting for the week he can score 3 TD's for nothing.
HOT - FIGHTING BLUE CRABS The Blue Crabs was a close second for me. G Money, and
his lovely ass, has the best quarterback and 2 absolute stud receivers. DeAngelo Williams
will be a keeper and will probably finish with a solid year but as of right now, Lewis and
Williams don't scare me as much as McGahee and Bush. The Cooley pick is looking more
like a reach, but Gregg won't have many weaknesses until he trades someone.
SEXY - SHERMTANKS I know he wanted to be the handsome one but I'm not totally sold on
his team yet (though he has to be pleased with a jump from gross to sexy, the equivalent of 9
beers per hour). I'm man enough to say this, I was wrong about his draft. Though Drew
Bledsoe will be a problem all year, he still has the BEST running back in football, LDT, and
that alone is 5 wins this season. Walker, Williamson, and Jones make an intriguing trio of
wide outs but I'm starting to believe in it, especially Williamson. Worst to first? Not yet.
GOOD-LOOKING - NOMADS IN THE DEEP The two-time defending champ has to deal with
what Jets fans have been dealing with the past 4 years, Herman Edwards. So long Larry
Johnson's career. So far Navid has had a stretch of bad luck with LJ's life flashing before
our eyes and Steve Smith's hamstrings doing the same. BUT, he did draft Frank Gore and
Terry Glenn's numbers will probably increase with Owens out for 2-4 weeks.
CUTE - NOSE The Nose knows wide receivers. He starts the best three in the league. As
soon as someone tells Dante Stallworth there are two halves in a football game, JB's team
can really take off. Steven Jackson has been piling up yards, but has yet to find the end
zone and I know this is making Blass worried. Top to bottom, Jarrett has one of the most
balanced teams in the league.
ATTRACTIVE - BROCK'S BANDITS "We draft winners here." One of my favorite lines
during the draft was spoken by Brock and whether you want to have sex with him or not, he
stuck to his guns. Brock might be a bit worried with Brady's shaky play or Thomas Jones
ineffectiveness but he won last week on Rudi's legs and on Drew's whiteness. A lot of
Brock's season depends on Thomas Jones though because of his lack of depth at the RB
position. If Jones can play like it's '05, look for the double B's to move up the good-looking-o-
meter.
DECENT - OC BEACH BALLERS One of the teams I picked to be in the finals has seen a
fall in the Good Looking standings. But the combination of Culpepper and Lamont Jordan
will do that to you. Now Scott has to deal with a Denver RB (good luck) and, well, Daunte
Culpepper. Then again, you're playing me this week, so 2-1 is a good start. By the way,
good luck.
EH - BALTIMORE TOOLS I've been pretty impressed with Marc's team and it will only get
better when Portis starts playing (week 3). Chester Taylor was clearly a good choice as a
keeper and Marc is pretty good at wide out (with the exception of the wasted pick that was
Lee Evans). Marc also boasts one of only two Defenses that can really change the course
of a week. Canton FC has the other one. I was dead wrong about Marc's draft.
NOT INTERESTED - NEW JERSEY JACOBINS How could a team be 2-0 and be this
unattractive? I'm not totally sure, maybe it has to do with the fact that Dave broke the only
rule we in the Good Looking Tribe have, never get engaged. Donovan McNabb is carrying
the team as Dave isn't getting the production he wanted out of Jones and Barber. It also
looks like the Jersey folk is weak at wide out with Moss, McCariens, and Andre Johnson
which doesn't sound like it should be weak, but is. On the bright side, he can start Alge
Crumpler this week for Jason Witten, who is on a bye.
IF I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME - BORN TO RUN MY MOUTH The Madden Curse?
Maybe, but Shaun Alexander and Cadillac Williams are looking a bit shitty so far this
season. Eli has been good but this week Kiss is relying on the oft injured TJ Housh, and two
major sleepers at wide out. If things play out right with these two wide receivers, Kiss's
fortunes can change drastically. Oh, and I'll see you at Mardi Gras.
NOT GOOD LOOKING - INCHING WORMS PK GM's the other team I felt was going to the
finals. Sure, it's way too early to throw in the towel, but I am a bit discouraged with the way
his team is performing (so I imagine he is even more upset). Edge was clearly the pick PK
had to make, but it's looking like maybe Peyton Manning would have been the smarter move
(so you could imagine how I feel). Parker has the best wide receiver trio in the league if
we're basing things on names, but none of them have scored a TD this season. I feel a turn
around coming for the Worms though, which brings us to….
ONLY FOR $1 MILLION - DORFMAN It's automatic that B. Yeung is going to outsmart
himself every year. The assassin picked two guys that had to be written in. Both had high
expectations coming into the season and now both are not on the team. Like most of us,
Brian is having a tough time at running back but I think the Eric Moulds will bolster his wide
receivers. When are people going to realize that Kevin Jones is not very good? I would
never count out Yeung.
IF I WAS BLIND - FIVE SECOND STARE Oh man did I not want to talk about Fantasy
Football last week. I was so upset about that Droughns pick that I sat him this week (he
obviously scored a TD). But I'm starting to feel a bit better about my squad now. I feel
comfortable starting Taylor and McAllister for the time being and it was encouraging to see
Galloway to catch a pass (9 of them actually) and Driver to stay alive. I'm hoping that Bulger
can get on track with this new offense. If he does, I'd feel a whole lot better about my squad,
and be a whole lot better looking.
GROSS - labor power There has to be a bottom man so why not this limey bastard. I do
not think Kevin Jones is good. BUT, he is better than Ron Dayne and Kevan Barlow, I know
this. That was a nice trade by Nick to acquire KJ. Nick got an encouraging week from Darrell
Jackson but the Communist still has a lot of eggs in Jake Delhomme's basket, a touchdown-
less basket. I'm rooting for the world traveler, because I won't play him again unless it's in
week 13-16. And if we learned anything from last year it's that you CANNOT count this man
out.